Best way to get a girlfriend

Someone started a thread here called: Best way to lose a girlfriend. I would rather know the “Best way to get a girlfriend”. What are your suggestion for finding (picking up, meeting, …) good women?

Be friendly. I’ve found in my own experience that the harder I looked, the more desperate I became and the more trouble I got into. The best relationships I had were the ones that developed out of friendships.

All the GOOD women are right here on the SDMB.


Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.

You need the following:

  1. Dashing good looks
  2. Charming manners
  3. A penchant for sincere flattery
  4. An easy sense of humor
  5. A huge wad of money

NOTE: Items 1-4 are optional (or at least negotiable).

The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik

Do not use any corny pick-up lines like “So what time do you have to be back in heaven?”

And especially don’t use sick ones like “That dress is mighty becoming on you. Then again, if I were on you, I’d be coming, too.”

or “Hey, you wanna see something swell?”

gee, I seem to know a lot of these. I should start a new thread.

But I’ve never used them, and I’ve done pretty well so far.

Join a club! No, not meant as a rip! Join a club of people who have similar interests to yours. I have a book club a workout club and a Scottish culture club (because, "If it’s not Scottish, it’s crap!) You get a chance to get to know people and know that a least you have one thing in common to talk about on a date. Also, volunteer; it’s a great way to meet caring people.

You can count the number of apples in one tree but never the number of trees in one apple.

Let friends know you’re looking. Seriously, if you’re looking for someone with whom to have a mutual good time (and possibly life together), how better to set it up than to have people who know you and know the girl think about the fact that the two of you would go well together? Certainly much less random than going to a bar.

Chaim Mattis Keller

“Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.”
– Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective

Before I was married, I joined this Sport and Singles club and there were lovely maidens galore.

But the key to meeting women is: making eye contact and having the nerve to talk to complete strangers, oh, and by the way, being a gentleman doesn’t hurt your cause either.

Let’s see. I go for men with sincerity, a sense of humor, and a talent for cunnilingus. The first two have to be innate, and the third can be learned.

And I generally hate “good-looking” men, in the sense that everyone else thinks they’re good-looking too. I much prefer a tall, cute, goofy-looking man with looks that have character, rather than those cookie-cutter frat boy Abercrombie & Fitch model looks.

Get a puppy and take it for a walk. Nothing attracts the opposite sex like cute wittle puppies.

(Babies are the same way, but for men only. Women flock to my husband to see the cute wittle baby he’s holding. What do I get, gray haired grannies lecturing me one easy I have it because of disposable diapers and epidurals…it ain’t fair.)

That and having confidence in yourself of who you are and where you are going and what you want to do in life. <therapy buzz word alert> When you like yourself, others will like you too. Awwwwww…group hug!

And don’t try too hard. Few people of either sex like people who are radiating desperation. Be nice and relaxed and interested – but you can’t breathe for her and she won’t appreciate it if you try.

So saith the voice of (recent) experience.

Shirley Ujest I just have to say that you totally crack me up! HUG! And the puppy idea is great, that’s how I met one of my lovers!

Don’t be afraid to just talk to us (girls/women, depending on your age). Doesn’t have to be hugely witty or anything, just a nice conversation about whatever. (This is why the puppy works so well. Could also be the name of a good Thai restaurant, how many miles is this loop around the park, etc.) No obvious skammin’. Don’t try too hard. Can be with women you encounter anywhere, but especially in the most ordinary, everyday places. (Then it’s likely she lives/works/plays where you do.) Now that I’m dating in my 30’s, it seems everyone is so skittish about even something as simple as talking. But you’ve got to start somewhere, and an ordinary conversation is, to my mind, a good starting place. Then see where it goes. If she’s receptive (i.e. she talks with you, doesn’t run for the hills), then don’t be afraid to ask her to do something (cup of coffee is a standard, but that’s because it’s quick, neutral, not a big commitment, so it works). Or ask if she’ll be in the same place (the park/gym/laundromat) again tomorrow/next Tuesday, etc., when you can meet/talk again. If you’re givin’ her the willies, you can probably tell and just move on, no harm done. Even if she doesn’t want to get to know you better, she’ll likely be flattered you made the effort.

And yes, all of the above works for women taking the initiative to talk to men they meet, too.

My experience - think of all encounters as opportunities to practice your skills at interacting. Funny thing… because you are practicing, you are more relaxed. Often enough what you thought of as practice turns out to be a real chance – and you don’t blow it by being too tense or skittish.

The reason gentlemen prefer blondes is that there are not enough redheads to go around.

The two ways to get a girlfriend are:

1–Be good looking (a matter of individual taste up to a point, but ONLY up to a point).

2–Have money and/or power (relative up to a point).

If you have neither 1 nor 2 you will find that women will be friends with you, but they’ll always have good logical reasons for not being anything more. In that case, you are best off forgetting about the whole thing and watching the History Channel a lot.

Cynical? Me? Nonsense…

Rich Barr
AOL Instant Messenger: Hrttannl

The absolute most surefire way to get as many girlfriends as you can handle is to get married first.

Being a married man increases your desirablity ten fold.

…P.S. I’m only half kidding

Contestant #3

Assuming you’re a geezer, a whacking gert tadger is always good to have!

Aren’t Whacking Gert Tadgers on the Endangered Species List?


In my pants, yes unfortunately!

Mail order.