Wow, I didn’t realize Ringling provided special condoms for their midget circus clowns.
(Should that be “little circus clown people”? “Vertically challenged circus clowns”? “Circus clowns of diminutive stature”?..)
A white man and a black man are taking a leak. The white man notices the black guy and says “Boy, I sure wish I had a dick like that.” The black man says “All you have to do is tie a string around it with a weight on the other end.”
A week later the the two guys meet.
How’s it working out?
I’m halfway there already.
What do you mean halfway?
Well, it’s already turned black.
-
-
- !
-
-
My dick is so big, whenever I want a head job, my girlfriend hires a stunt double.
-
My dick is so big, I teach my sperm tricks and sell them to Sea World.
-
My dick is so big, women have to chew before they swallow. (-not mine, but pretty good)
-
MC
This one’s a little off topic. Wrinkled maybe, not big.
An old man and an old lady are sitting in a rest home. The old lady turns to him and says, "I bet I can guess how old you are."
The old guy says, "oh yeah? Go ahead and try."
She says, "ok, unbutton your pants".
He figures it's a little strange, but he does it. She reaches in his fly and feels around for a couple of minutes. Finally, she says, "83, right?"
He says, "yeah, how did you figure that out?"
she says, "you told me yesterday".
“Wait, you dropped your phony dog poo.”
“What phony dog poo?”
My dick is so big, when I was circumcised I had my foreskin made into a wallet; rub it, and it turns into a suitcase.
While the early bird may get the worm, it’s the second mouse that gets the cheese.
My dick is so big, you can see it from space.
¾È ³ç
I couldn’t resist replying to this:
A woman walks up to the big, gorgeous cowboy. She looks him in the eye and asks, “So Tex, just how big is it?” He replies,“6 inches, m’am” Her face drops. “Is that all, my baby brother is bigger than that.” The cowboy looks confused. He asks,“In diameter m’am?”
What do you get if you cross a penis with a potato?
A Dictator!
Ok it’s kind of a big d joke.
There is a little mouse in the jungle and it has gotten itself trapped in a hole made by the footprint of an elephant. Try as he might the little mouse can’t get out. Lo and behold along comes an elephant and the mouse begs him for help to get out. The elephant likes to be begged, and watching the little mouse struggle has made him aroused. His dick starts to grow and grow. Eventuall it is long enough for the little mouse to climb up and get out of the hole.
Some days go by and the situation is now reversed. The elephant has become stuck in a pit when along comes little mouse. This time the little mouse watches the struggling elephant and becomes aroused. The mouse’s dick starts to grow and grow but it’s still not big enough to help the elephant. So the little mouse gets into a black Porsche, throws the elephant a rope and proceeds to pull him out.
The moral of the story: If you have a black Porsche you don’t need a big dick. 
“My dick is so big I’m unable to have sex with any women in my time zone!”
Two guys wizzing over the side of a bridge:
“That water sure is cold!”
“yeah, deep too…”
lol, that was great!
¾È ³ç, ÁÖ µ¿ ÀÏ
an interactive joke for guys but I suppose women could do it too!
Get a dollar bill and tuck it into your belt so that most of it hangs down toward your penis. Ask a female (or male) “what is this”
Answer: All you can eat under a dollar…
I never said it was a good joke.
Libby’s Mom
Sandra
The last girl I asked out said she’d only date me if I had a 12" dick; hell, I ain’t cutting 2" of my dick for anybody.
It only hurts when I laugh.
Sorry it took me so long to see this thread, I do have one or two of these jokes:
“My Dick Is So Big”, by Revtim and Revjohn
My Dick is so big you need a fishing license to take a sperm sample.
My Dick is so big I’m not supposed to operate it after taking NyQuil.
My Dick is so big scientists think it may have killed the dinosaurs.
My Dick is so big it started its own record label.
My Dick is so big it’s registered by the Dep’t of Interior as a “Geological Feature used Primarily for Recreation”.
My Dick is so big 46 Haitians floated to Florida on it.
My Dick is so big I won the Olympic pole-vault gold medal in Atlanta with it.
My Dick is so big, my sperm have to take the subway.
My Dick is so big, Oprah choked on it.
My Dick is so big, it has several moons in orbit around it.
My Dick is so big, it flys non-stop to London
My Dick is so big, girls need an oxygen mask when they blow me.
My Dick is so big I can fuck a Russian on Mir while still on the ground.
My Dick is so big Spielberg is filming “Jurassic My Dick”
My Dick is so big the doctor used a backhoe to give me a vasectomy.
My Dick is so big it was banned by the SALT2 treaty.
My Dick is so big David Copperfield made it disappear.
My Dick is so big it seats a family of six.
My Dick is so big there’s a show on Fox, “When My Dick Attacks”
My Dick is so big you can drive from Alaska to Siberia on it.
My Dick is so big Exxon rents it for offshore drilling
My Dick is so big when I piss, flood warnings are issued
My Dick is so big they are resculpting the Washington Monument in its honor
My Dick is so big it popped out of my girls mouth while I fucked her doggie style
My Dick is so big it has an entourage.
My Dick is so big it fought Godzilla.
My Dick is so big The Stones open for it.
My Dick is so big it obscures satellite photos.
My Dick is so big it won’t share top billing.
My Dick is so big when I get hard on the beach it violates Cuba’s air space.
My Dick is so big that George Lucas can’t afford to CGI it in Episode Two.
My Dick is so big it was in a GoodYear commercial
My Dick is so big it rides shotgun
My Dick is so big the head has a blinking red light on top
My Dick is so big the head needs to decompress after a swim
My Dick is so big Cunard wants to buy it.
My Dick is so big that the last chick I fucked said “My God, it’s full of stars!”
My Dick is so big that the US Dept of Justice tried to break it up into smaller dicks.
My Dick is so big the tip dials 10-10-321 when it calls my balls.
My Dick is so big it molested Michael Jackson.
My Dick is so big Suzanne Somers wants me to endorse her ‘Dickmaster’.
My Dick is so big Melville’s original title was “Moby My Dick”.
My Dick is so big it won’t host Saturday Night Live, even though it was on the cast for 6 years.
My Dick is so big primitive cultures worship it as a deity.
My Dick is so big it has it’s own climate.
My Dick is so big a Starbucks opened in my scrotum.
My Dick is so big it has stadium seating.
My Dick is so big they found George Mallory’s frozen corpse on it, with two dead Sherpas.
My Dick is so big that when I beat off, the friction causes global warming.
My Dick is so big, it has a side job snaking out drains
My Dick is so big, A book was written: 20,000 leagues under my Dick
My Dick is so big, I’m going to throw it across the Hudson River and start charging a toll to cross it.
My Dick is so big, The State of Florida is envious of it’s length
My Dick is so big, It took up two pages in the latest Rand McNally Atlas
My Dick is so big, it has it’s own zip code
My Dick is so big, it just announced it’s candidacy for president
My Dick is so big, I was arrested for stealing a Sequoia.
My Dick is so big, NASA modeled the Saturn V after it.
My Dick is so big it did stunt work in the movie ‘Anaconda’.
My Dick is so big it took a team of lumberjacks to circumcise me.
My Dick is so big if I put a hat on it I can drive in the HOV lane.
My Dick is so big my Home Owner’s Association’s won’t let me get a hard-on.
My Dick is so big it takes the Army Corps Of Engineers to clean up after I jack off.
My Dick is so big I can fuck a barrel of milk and make enough butter for the state of Wisconsin.
My Dick is so big I have to rack mount it when I get in my truck.
My Dick is so big I’ve been capitalizing the word “Dick” in all these dumb-ass juvenile jokes even though it’s grammatically incorrect.
My Dick is so big it has it’s own Congressman.
My Dick is so big it changed its name to “The organ formerly known as My Dick”.
My Dick is so big I can fuck the hole in the ozone.
My Dick is so big that when I tap it after I piss, it registers 9.6 on the Richter scale.
My Dick is so bigthey wiped out the amazon rain forest to provide enough rubber for just one of my Trojans.
My Dick is so big that the shaft and each ball are their own independent sovereign states. It takes a trade agreement for me to come.
My Dick is so big NORAD goes to DEFON 4 every day when their radar picks up my morning wood.
MDISB it carries a dozen Polaris missles
MDISB I corn hole the Lincoln Tunnel
MDISB it seats six comfortably
MDISB Pink Floyd is touring it
MDISB Sammy Sosa wants to bat with it
MDISB it tans itself on Pad 39A
MDISB people is Roswell NM are still talking about my drive through town.
MDISB it has a permanent dark side.
MDISB they race my sperms in Mexico.
MDISB it does “stupid My Dick tricks” on the Letterman show.
MDISB it has it’s own currency.
MDISB that the only man-made structure that can be seen from space is my erection.
MDISB it bends light.
MDISB it joined NATO.
MDISB it has a snow cap.
MDISB it bought Microsoft.
MDISB once I ejaculated and buried Pompeii.
MDISB my smegma is recognized as an official ecological disaster.
MDISB I can splooge satellites into orbit.
MDISB the natives on Skull island sacrifice virgins to it.
Does “MDISB” now rival “MPSIMS?”
SoxFan59
“Its fiction, but all the facts are true!”
My Dick is so big it demands it does the typing.
My Dick is so big it just was just signed by the Lakers for $136 million.
My Dick is so big it made Monica Lewinski blush.
My Dick is so big it has an upcoming Pay-per-view event for $89 a pop.
Here’s another contribution to the delinquency.
So there are these two nurses in a hospital, that have to shift out and take turns bathing this dude that has recently had a vasectomy. Of course they notice that he has sort of a small wanger, and that it has some sort of small black mole looking thing on it. The guy asks one of the nurses out on a date, and she consents. The next day, she comes in looking very frazzled and tired. Her nurse friend asks how the date went and the girl replies, “You know that mole on his dick, well it is not. It is an advertisment that says ‘Eat at Charlie’s - Kalamazoo, Michigan.’”
Here is another one:
There are two gay guys in the john, both standing at the urinal doing their buisness. One peeks over and notices that the other one has a nicotine patch on his member. Inquiring, he asks the guy, “Does that thing really work?” He replies, “Sure, I’m down to two butts a day.”
My Dick is so big, when I get an erection it pulls my eyebrows down to my neck.
My dick is so big it doesn’t return Spielberg’s calls.