My dick is so big MCI wants to use it as a transmission tower.
My dick is so big it almost joined the Republican ticket, but G.W Bush didn’t want a bigger dick than he was in the party.
Wow, this thread still exists?
My dick is so big, that when I come, clowns jump out of my dick.
There’s always another beer.
MDISB that if I were to take Viagra, it would shift the Earth’s orbit.
MDISB that when I get aroused, I look like I’m riding a pogo stick.
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
My dick is so big I can’t ride in the subway, 'cause the trains get jealous.
My dick is so big that I’m opening a theme restaurant in Times Square called Planet My Dick.
My dick is so big I have to aim it down so it doesn’t knock low-flying aricraft out of the sky.
My dick is so big that the tip gets sunburned before I wake up at dawn.
…but when you get blue, and you’ve lost all your dreams, there’s nothing like a campfire and a can of beans!
MDISB there’s a new show on FOX, “Who wants to marry My Dick?”
MDISB that when I announced that I was going to the Mustang Ranch in Nevada, all the girls that work there quit and became nuns.
MDISB that the tip celebrated Y2K 12 hours before my balls.
MDISB that when I swim in the Sea Of Japan whalers try to harpoon it.
MDISB that when my mom was pregnant with me, by the second trimester she looked like she had 3 legs.
The tatoo on my dick says “Shorty” until I become aroused. Then it says, “Shorty’s Bar and Grill, Fifth and Main, Abilene, Kansas.”
Stop making jokes about me.
Oh, big dick jokes. Nevermind.
My contribution:
So a mouse is walking through the jungle, and finds an elephant in agony.
“What’s wrong?” asks the mouse.
“I have a thorn in my foot, and I can’t get it out. I’d do anything to get rid of it,” says the elephant.
“Anything?”
“ANYTHING. It hurts so bad.”
“Okay, I can take it out for you. But you have to let me fuck you.”
“Whatever, just pull the thorn out!”
So the mouse pulls out the thorn, the elephant gets up and starts to walk away.
“Hey! You promised me a fuck!” yells the mouse.
“All right, all right. Have your fun.”
The mouse climbs up, and starts doing the elephant. A monkey up in a tree, finding this fantastically humourous and in uncontrolable laughter, drops the coconut he was eating on the elephant’s head.
“Ow!” said the elephant said.
The mouse replied,
“That’s right, take it all, bitch!”
It’s not how you pick your nose, it’s where you put the boogers
from Roxanne:
Your dick was on time, but you were fifteen minutes late!
The other day I saw a car with a bumper sticker that said, “My other car is a big dick. Wanna ride?”
Sometimes you feel like a coconut, sometime you feel like a yak.
Reusing a joke from another post:
My Richard is so big, I have to use a seven letter term for it. Four letters isn’t enough.
Another new show on Fox: When My Big Richard Attacks.
MRISB, I have to wrap it around myself to keep it from dragging. I look like a flesh-colored Michelin Man.
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
MDISB it has tourists.
MDISB China considers it a “rogue province” and is threatening to invade it.
Tim, you gotta work a little faster on your material. That’s twice you’ve revived this, ya big dick.
My dick is so big, right now it’s in the other room making us drinks.
My dick is so big, it has its own dick, and even my dick’s dick is bigger than yours.
My dick is so big, when I get a boner, it affects the tides.
My dick is so big, the head has only seen my balls in pictures.
My dick is so big, NASA has launched space probes to find the end.
My dick is so big, I could wear it as a tie, but I’m too afraid of getting a hard on and choking myself.
My dick is so big, it won’t return Speilberg’s phone calls.
My dick is so big, movie theater popcorn now comes in “Small”, “Medium”, “Large”, and “My Dick”
My dick is so big, there’s a shoe called “AIR my dick”
My dick is so big, I finally figured out a good use for a woman with a mouth as big as yours.
My dick is so big, you’re standing on it.
My dick is so big, I need a blood transfusion to get fully erect.
MDISB it accounts for all the missing matter in the Universe.
MDISB it thinks Satan is being totally hypocritical by writing that, because it’s seen threads by him that are exactly what he’s ranting about in his OP, and furthermore…
Whoops, my bad. Wrong resurrected thread.
Hey, excuse me for having a life other than the SDMB. Ya little dick!
MDISB it has a life-size tattoo of the Great Wall of China on it.
MDISB that when I swim in the ocean and get ”shrinkage”, sea level drops three feet.
MDISB I ordered “all-u-can-eat” at the Mustang Ranch and put it out of business
MDISB the pope kissed it after his plane landed on my balls.
MDISB when I do porn it has to be on IMAX.
MDISB I needed to get a license to operate heavy machinery before I could legally masturbate.
MDISB that when it collided with a Russian submarine, it barely got a bruise but the sub sank.
MDISB it caused a 6 car pileup when one of its Firestones blew out.