I think that was an example of a general topic (“Hmmm, this is good, I find I’m sexually attracted to her…Cool!”) that is best kept to oneself, and the specific example of anal sex was chosen to show what would be obviously, glaringly, wrong, in sharing that whole general topic too soon.
The analogy would be between THINKING “This guy is nice, maybe so nice I can see having a family with him down the road” and SAYING “A good time for me to conceive a child will be six days from today: How do you feel about providing me with the sperm I’ll need?” on the first date, and the above example. Both the thought and the spoken language would be TMI and inappropriate, but the spoken stuff absurdly so.
I certainly don’t speak for all men, but I agree with the idea. Both statements are really “How about I get to know you better” types of questions.
The sexual drive and the desire to have kids are both deeply rooted in biological urges. Of course both booty and babies can have a meaning well beyond the sating of a hormonal urge, but if you bring it up too soon, the implication is that you just want to cross-off that activity on your To Do list, rather than share something with someone who rings your bell on many levels.
Of course I think I have it easy because I tend to date women in their twenties, I’m in a city where the women are more likely to be emotionally and financially independent, and I’m not exactly meeting women in church.
Some women don’t want to waste any precious courting time with a man who is unwilling or unable to fertilize them and be a father. It may seem presumptious, but woud you rather have them string you along before you found out this was a dealbreaker.
Much worse in my opinion are men and women (although women are more inclined to do this than men) who will string along a partner who is not onboard with their kids/no kids lifestyle goal in the expectation that (with appropriate persuasion) the other person will come around to their way of thinking in time.
It’s amazing how many men and women claim to like direct, straightforward honesty, but when it comes to dating criteria get all fussy about it and throw down the “bad form” card on people who are direct, straightforward and honest about their prospective relationship goals.
I beg to differ. Were I looking for a RICH man, I would never have given my fiance a second look. He’s an absolute sweetheart but as far as money goes, he is definitely not and nowhere near making “the bucks.”
This is not true in all cases – even in most, I expect, though 20-year-olds of either gender CAN be amazingly dense sometimes. (I go to school with a bunch of them. So go ahead, flame me, I was pretty stupid sometimes at 20 myself.)