Birthdays and Memories, A Bittersweet MMP

No way I am getting up at 0600 to post this…here it is, one day early.

I was born on July 12, 1962. My older twin sisters were born on July 12, 1958. I was their 4th birthday present. As a kid, I resented having to share this day with them-I wasn’t a twin, so why couldn’t I have my own day? We all shared a cake, usually sponge without icing. I wanted my OWN cake.

Birthdays got complicated by my sister’s juvenile diabetes. Now there were no cakes, no ice cream, no parties. When I was 16, I started making 3 cakes: one for each of us. For me, white cake, with chocolate frosting, for one twin: lemon with lemon frosting, for the other: angel food with icing drizzled over it. We let the diabetes (now afflicting both twins) go hang for the day. My mother was just glad to not have to make 3 cakes!
Now both my twin sisters have passed away(both of complications from diabetes). One at 39, the other at 46. I will be 45 this Thursday–and I now have my own day. I wish I were making 3 cakes, but I am making one: white with chocolate frosting. My older brother (I’m the youngest) will be here on Saturday and we will celebrate again then. I am glad to be here, and glad to be 45 (well, I could do without the varicose veins, adult acne and weight gain). But I miss my sisters. And I still miss never having had a “real” birthday party. My kids have always had great kid parties (the number of guests equalled how old they were-I’m not insane).

So, I am inviting all my MMPers to MY 45th Bday party! Throughout the thread, please feel free to make yourself at home–the bar is open, and the table is full of good things. You all decide the menu (with one caveat: I loathe Mexican food). And please, NO gifts. Let’s just have a good time.

And here’s to my sisters: Leigh and Sandy. God bless. <lifts a glass of Pinot Grigio and salutes>

There is no way I would get up at 6 AM to post in this thread, so I’ll do it now.

A lovely OP rigs. I don’t think there is any better way to remember loved ones passed than by telling others about them along with a glass of wine and a toast.

Well, that will get insane eventually. Though I suppose you probably won’t be in charge of the parties by that point.

Life here is returning to about as normal as it can all things considered. I have heard from two of my siblings and several of my friends and so far everyone has come down on our side, so I hope that my parents will see their error and come around, but I am not holding my breath at this point.

I knew that I would run into this with my parents one day since they see the world in rigidly defined areas of black and white (mostly black with very little white) and I don’t. So if it wasn’t this it would be something else. I was just hoping that when it did come to this that they would open their minds rather than closing me out.

Ali, when the people who pay me let me do my job, one of the things I do is convince people to change. I work installing a big chunk o’ software; even for companies which already had similar chunks of software, this would mean changing procedures, yet many people believe with absolute certainty that things will stay the same; others with more vision are sure there’s going to be a change and it’ll be for the worst. The “change ambassador” part of the job is very rarely easy - even those who think that the old system sucked and “about time we got it changed” are sure that the new system will be terribly difficult to use, not have any of the bells and whistles of the old one and generally be a pain. The biggest lever I have is getting people to “own” the change; once they see that I’m taking their needs and requests into consideration and that things are going to work for them, they stop fearing and start pushing along with me.

Fear of change is universal. And your change from “our little boy” (are you the youngest?) to “unbeliever living in sin” is one your parents can’t control at all. I know several families where similar situations are Never Spoken Of. The “offending child” gets to go to family celebrations and share caring for the ailing parent(s), but the fact that the first grandchild was born out of wedlock or is of unknown father (and worse, the putative father doesn’t give a poop) or the child used to be a junkie… ah no, that is That Which Shall Not Be Named!

I’d like to say I hope your parents can behave better than that, but I think my hope hasn’t awakened yet, it’s only 6:15am here.

It’s not early, it’s already 5am on Monday here. Just me and the birds awake in the whole city. :slight_smile:

That was a beautiful post. I don’t really know what to say in response to it other than that I wish you could have to make three cakes too. The thread party sounds like a nice idea - nobody knows how to have a good time like Dopers do. And perhaps for next year you could organise a little Dopefest in your area around birthday time.

I think today I’m going to take pictures of clouds. I have no idea how that will work out but there are some pretty spectacular clouds in the sky right now. Sometimes it feels as though there’s just not enough sky in my life and…actually it’s odd, I’ve just looked around the room and realised that two of the three pictures on the wall are mostly about sky. And my desktop wallpaper is mostly about sky. Something I never realised before. Anyways, I’m going to get me some pictures of sky and clouds and add to what is apparently a growing collection.

It’s weird that you can collect things without realising. I collect stones. I collect books. I collect erotic sculpture. I collect pretty things (for a certain definition of pretty) and now apparently I collect skies.

Happy Monday everyone and Happy Birthday to eleanorigby, Leigh and Sandy for Thursday. :slight_smile:
PS: Could we not have clowns at the party? Or mimes. Or those statue people. TYVM.

Thanks for sharing, rigs. raises glass to Leigh and Sandy What you said about the cakes reminds me of when I was younger and my mother was still a stay-at-home housewife - she’d make the most elaborate cakes for my birthday parties. I never quite appreciated them as much as I should.

Good Lord, is it hot. I want nothing more to go to bed but I accidentally got honey all over my hair so must go shower before sleeping.

Oh, I forgot to mention - I actually met someone for coffee today. A guy I’ve been exchanging emails with from OKCupid. He seems nice enough, but he was a bit different from how he looked in his pictures - not radically so, but a little shorter, a little stockier. I am attracted to wiry lads who are at least a head taller than me, so this was slightly disappointing. (And honestly, considering I am 5’ 1", it is not that hard to be that much taller than me.) He wasn’t mind-numbingly boring or anything, but there weren’t any sparks, and after two hours I was most definitely ready to go home. I might meet him for one more date, since my motto is try everything twice, but for now I’m thinking no.

Rigs, I’m sitting here in front of my work computer, ready to burst into unprofessional tears… that was a moving OP!

Nava, cut the bull… er, I mean, cut to the bulls already :slight_smile:

**Zelie **-- I like skies, too. But Erotic Sculpture sounds pretty interesting, as well!

**Ali **-- it sounds like your folks may have to come around yet. Here’s hoping. It has happened to many, many people before, if only in the way Nava mentioned.

Me, I’m learning the joys of parenting teenagers – lying half-awake, waiting for the turn of the key, the flick of the light-switch that means Special Teen has finally got home from her friend’s (at about 12:30 AM). Envy me :stuck_out_tongue:

Happy Birthday, Rigs!

rigs, great OP! It touched me in so many ways.
**
Ali**, I’m not sure if I should bring this up, but I’m thinking the whole shunning thing is supposed to be about the sex, right? Because I thought that it was OK to live in the same residence with a member of the opposite sex as long as you’re not having sex. Well, if they believed you weren’t having sex before you moved in together, why is it so hard for them to believe you’re not doing it now? Just one of those things that make me go hmmm. :dubious:

Haze, you accidentally got honey in your hair? That has to come with a story. You can’t just leave us hanging like that.

Special1, thanks for the redirect over here. I’m not sure I’m ready to start the new week yet, but apparently it’s starting with or without me.

As part of rigs non-presents for this week, our third bullcast of the Fair.

Since y’all aren’t running, I recomend buying your chocolate with churros already and eating it while you watch. Hmmm, chocolate for breakfast! I don’t care what doctors say, there is no way that can be bad for health.

This year Caja Navarra (the local bank, owned by the Navarrese Government and therefore a bit by each of us Navarrese) has made its ads by getting people of different origins and colors to sing two traditional songs. One is the prayer I told you about; the other is the chorus in the Vals de Astráin, aka el Riau-Riau. When other people hear “waltz,” they usually think Blue Danube… a Navarrese is highly likely to think Astráin instead. We’re weird that way. The people in the ads are a white guy who sounds like he’s “from Pamplona his whole life,” a black guy (methinks he’s not from Hawaii), a south-American woman, another white guy who sounds American and two guys who look and sound like Japanese tourists (or maybe Korean or Hongkonese).

The interviews today are mostly with people from outside town; several Americans who come every year… a group of people in their 40s from Albacete (S Spain) who is there for the first time and say they’ll come back… a young guy who, when asked if the bedcover he was sleeping in was his grandma’s said “yes, I brought it all the way from Santiago de Chile, Grandma’s Navarrese!” They’re also showing bulls-in-the-street fiestas from other places, some of them inspired by ours.

A San Fermín venimos
por ser nuestro patrón
nos guíe en el encierro
dándonos su bendición.

It’s sung three times, with several minutes silence and nerves in between. The run starts at 8:00am sharp, usually - on Saturday it went late because of the problems with the fence and with cleaning.

After the fence is set and the streets are clean, the town’s major and a small cohort walk all the path, nominally verifying that fence and streets look ok. Of course they don’t start walking until things are set, and if they start late and get to the bullring late, the run starts late.

The oxen are all ahead of the bulls, one of the bulls couldn’t find the gate and hit one of its sides. The veterinarian will have to take a look at that one, maybe there’s something wrong with his eyes (could have been just more nervous than others).

By the end of Sto Domingo, they’re already in the usual setup, with three oxen in front, then the bulls, then the other three oxen. I haven’t seen any falls at the bend, it’s pretty compact even in Telefónica (by then they’d strung out but there was never more than two bull-lengths between each group and the others). A few fallen guys, but since there’s “nobody” compared with a weekend run, no real problem with that either. Very, very fast run and if there’s any wounded it seems to be scrapes and bandaids. Cool.

Replay at the bend: while none of the bulls had fallen, several guys did; they’d fallen on the inside of the bend, though, and mostly stayed put, so since the bulls invariably slide to the outside no major danger - except for an idiot who was pretty much in the middle of the bend (that is, close to the bulls) and who kept trying to get up. There’s a moment when he’s this >< far from getting a fast apendecectomy, he tries to get up facing a bull but the bull avoids him rather than headbutting. If his mother wants to give the idiot a beating, I volunteer to hold him down.

In Telefónica another guy was seeing a bull (light brown, they’re normally black) on his right and didn’t realize there was another coming from the left… again, the black on the left was more interested in getting someplace safe than in trouble. But this guy wasn’t a moron like the other, just caught in a bad spot. When he notice the left one he didn’t do anything he shouldn’t; didn’t bounce away from him, which would have meant bumping into the one on the right - I see many runners notice a bull when they weren’t expecting one and jump.

They’ve set up some runners with minicams tied to their hips, it’s one of the reruns they do. Today one of these cameramen fell down, we got a closeup of the floor.

Red Cross report: six wounded, all contusions except for one dislocated shoulder. I have no idea why dislocated shoulders are so common. Two of the contusions are head hits, but both were conscious and coherent so it looks like neither is serious.
All those ads for Navarrese food make me hungry. Good thing I already had breakfast! HHmmmmMMMM! Someone has started a Rodizio Brasileño (all-you-can-eat Brasilian BBQ)! Methinks I know where will I invite Mom next time we go to Pamplona :smiley:

Seconded.

Well, you can always stay in that dark room I prepared for you… OK, maybe just a little bit of light… candles?

The guy with the dislocated shoulder? He had a small dislocation yesterday, ran again today (and judging by that belly he’s in not the greatest shape) and got a worse dislocation. This time they’ve taken him to the hospital and are threatening with not letting him out until the 14 at 9am unless he promises to behave :stuck_out_tongue: (yes, they can do that legally, it would count as “keeping him in the hospital for his own good” - and the stay is paid by social security).

Nava, I think we’ll all pitch in to hire you to do the Breakfast TV Sports Section every day. :slight_smile: T’was a lot of fun to read your entry today along with my first cup of coffee! Now, to work… :frowning:

Happy birthday, rigs (and a toast to your sisters).

Nava, I liked your Pamplona report. Too late for chocolate, though, maybe in the morning (it’s midnight here, I should be getting to bed).

This week the whole Harry Potter frenzy kicks in. I’m taking Friday off to see the movie - I arranged it before they moved the opening up to the 11th. Oh, well. I’m going to see if I can go see it at Grauman’s Chinese so I can see the 3 main kids’ footprints in the concrete, which I don’t remember if they’re going to do later today or Tuesday.

What a lovely OP, rigsby, and a great way to remember your sisters.

Haze, you can’t possibly make comments about getting honey in your hair and then not tell us everything!

Zelie, I think you must be collecting sky because you work underground and you need to remember there’s a whole different world above you. Plus, it’s kind of a Pooh thing to do.

Nava - I have a friend who did the Pamplona run last year, it was something he’d wanted to do for a long time and almost missed out on because he fell off a staircase at a party in a hotel a few years back and wondered if he’d ever walk again. Running with the bulls seemed a good way to celebrate his recovery, although I don’t think his girlfriend was too impressed with the idea.

Swampus - happy first day in your new job! Enjoy those forms and the safety lectures, and don’t forget to write!

I’m off in search of caffeine, it’s the only thing to make the morning bearable.

Good Mornin’/Afternoon/Evenin’ Y’all!

rigs great OP! I will refrain from singin’ real loud until Thursday. :smiley: I like the party thread idea too. I promise to be celebratory this evenin’.

Cellodude the 'rents will come around. That may mean they just decide they have to deal but, hey, you’re all grown up so it’s their problem, not yours.

BooFae thanks for the happy first day wishes. I have been up and caffienatin’ for almost an hour now. I really had intended to just be gettin’ up like now (about 4:40 A.M. EDT) but I woke up all anxious like and had to pee so I got up. I’m anxious, antsy, psyched and a little nervous. Mostly though I’m wonderin’ how I’ll manage to get through what I just know will be a mind numbing boring day of OSHA/Safety/Form Filling Out.

Ok, off to surf a bit then get purtified. Y’all have a great day/afternoon/evenin’ whatever it is where ever you are!

ETA: Haze I am intrigued and cannot wait to learn how one accidentally gets honey on one’s hair!

Hippo birds day two ewes, rigs!!! I hope that you have a wonderful day. I would have been very sad to have to share a birthday with two older sisters, but you were brilliant at the age of sixteen and baking each of you a cake. My condolences that they have passed, you do them honor with remembering them not only to your self but with us as well. My personal beliefs include that Leigh and Sandy are watching over you and celebrating where they are along with you. For your birthday table I bring a pirok* and macaroni salad, a raspberry, lemon and coconut cake, a large vase of my finally-blooming-tulips and much merriment, wine and song!

Hey all, I think I am really back. I have taken all of the good drugs and only have two days of penicillin left to take. I kinda remember posting last week, but it was in a pain and drug induced haze. I mostly slept last week away, and I still have a sore spot in my cheek where the dam they used pinched and bruised me. It wasn’t all that bad, but it’s not something I would do for grins and giggles. The dentist ground my molar down, so I have a flat surfaced tooth, and my tongue keeps finding it. It feels kinda gross. The pain I have spent at least a month in is blessedly gone, I am stupid when it comes to pain, for example I spent three weeks in what to me was mild to moderate pain and a low grade fever before I realized that I was having an appendicitis attack. The doc removed it as it was at the bursting point. There are enough of us here with chronic pain issues that I’m sure you understand the “I deal with pain daily, this isn’t as bad or any worse than what I am used to” set of mind.

ali I totally understand and support you and meli. My parents were rigidly Fundamentalists, the rest of the family staunch Catholics, and I not only cohabitated with three different guys in my much younger days, and did indeed have two children out of wedlock, but I further rocked my conservative family by marrying a minority and having two “half breed” children. When I moved to Alaska it was in large part to get as far away from my family as possible, and had no contact with them for five years because I was sick and tired of the self rightous indignation over my refusal to walk their line. When I was thirty five I opened the lines of communication again, and they have been exceptionally receptive to my marriage and children, with reservations being held only by my brothers and bio-dad, and their opinion means less than nothing to me. On the other hand I have been in a relationship with skiffman since 1990, and his family still see me as the G-D white woman who lured him out of the village, sobered him up and keeps him from participating with his village family. I really don’t prevent him from it, it’s just that he has chosen to put his wife and kids first before the alcoholic and dysfunctional-in-so-many-ways village family.

It’s now 12:34 am and I ought to get into bed and read for a bit before I turn off the lights. Tomorrow I will see if I can link to ultrasound photos of my granddaughter, she is sooooo beautiful!

I missed you all so much, I shall probably babble all week! 'Nighty night!

*pirok is a Russian/Alutiq special occasion dish. It is a fish pie made with a bottom pie crust and assembled from the bottom up with layers of rice, salmon, sauteed veggies (traditionally cabbage, carrots, onions and rutabaga) more rice and topped with more pie crust and baked until golden brown. It is awesomely delicious.

kai everything in the pirok sounds good but the shudder rutabagas. shudder

Ok gang, just sneakin’ in one last post before I go off into the world of work once again. The good thing is it takes a whole fifteen minutes to get there. Still Ima get there about fifteen minutes early just to make sure. Wish me luck!

May you not need any luck, oso pantanoso!

Meh, employed ursine 'o the blackwater, the rutabagas are shredded and sauteed in lots of butter and herbs and garlic and onions and all the other veggies. They add a depth to the pirok, you do not taste the individual vegetables. Rutabagas are one of the few vegetable crops that thrive here, and so are a good veg to add vitamins to the food. I guarantee that you would come back for seconds of my pirok! :smiley:

How’s this for thread cross-pollenization?

Old Redneck Proverb: Friends help friends. Real friends help you hide the bodies…

::Gruff snort of contempt for Monday morning::

Caffeinating, but it ain’t helping so far. Had a mostly boring weekend. Saturday chores, and fixed a couple of little things in the house. Finally shampooed carpets Saturday night, instead of on the 4th. Overslept and missed church yesterday, but I did borrow a drag rake and surfaced the former jungle, now the great Mayberry High Desert. It’s ready for grass planting, but I won’t do that until the second major rain. The way it’s going now, that’ll be March 2009.

I feel so stupid, praying FOR a tropical storm…

No fires since Wednesday night-Thursday morning. :cool: I did do an ambulance run yesterday, though. One of my country neighbors got hisself into some heat exhaustion, so we hauled him to the horse pistol.

Envy me; I have such an exciting life… :rolleyes: :wink:

ETA: SwampBeer, you got your ass off welfare yet? :stuck_out_tongue: