Black Day for Sweety and Kids

Sweety’s ex-wife passed away last weekend.

Sweety has custody of his two kids, 13 yr old Lil’ Miss and 16-yr old Lil’ Sweety.

Ex lived in an apt very close to where Lil’ Sweety worked. He was in the habit of going by to see Mom when he got off work. Sweety and Ex have been divorced 3 or 4 yrs.

Saturday, Lil’ Sweety went to visit Mom. He left, giving her a hug and “mom, I love you”.

Monday, he stopped by to visit.

She didn’t answer the door. She didin’t answer her phone. Lil’ Sweety uses his key to come in.

He relates the scene: She has her back to him, lying in the bed. She looks like she just took a shower and laid down to go to sleep.

He shook her, Mom ! wake up!
He rolls her over. No response. She looks “funny”. He tries CPR, then calls 911. Soon the paramedics and cops are there. That’s when he calls Sweety. Lil’ Sweety is ballistic. These are big guys. It takes Sweety and two cops/firemen to restrain Lil’ Sweety when the gurney goes out the door.

Meantime, me and Aunt Sis arrive at the house wher little Miss (13) is. She knows nothing. We have to pretend there’s some reason for us to be there.

Sis cleans madly. I clean madly. Sweeping, dusting, no dirty dish left un-scoured.

Lil’ Miss knows something’s up. Sweety eventually comes home and has to tell her.

gah… it’s been a very hard two days. Sweety is unconsolable. Lil’ Miss and Lil’ Sweety are unconsolable. Tough, tough times.

Ex was only 42. She had a bad heart. Two years ago she had a heart attack. The coroner says, she could have been in the emergency room, nothing they could have done to save her.
Rest in peace, hon. I promise I will try to be the best step-mom to your children. I wish I could take their place tonight, so they would still have their mommie.


Oh NinetyWt, that’s just so sad for you and your family. She was SO young. :frowning: I can’t imagine how distraught the children are. And you poor thing, having such a good heart and already tending to and thinking ahead about taking care of them all. Everyone will be blessed by so much love.

Know that at least us Dopers are thinking of you all and praying for easier days ahead. Soon too. Hugs and God bless.

Goodness, I’m at a loss here. I know you’ll be there for the kids. I wish you and your family peace and strength.

Wow. Your poor (step) son and daughter.

Take care of them and take care of your sweetie.

That is a deep sadness. I wish I could find words to make it better and take the pain away, but there are none. Know that you are in my thoughts.

Sending warm thoughts your way.

I wish I knew what to say. How traumatic… how sad. It’s a long road to recovery - this is the kind of thing you don’t get over. It’s the kind of thing you get “around”. Please hang in there. Be strong, but know when to let it all go, too.

We’ll be thinking of you, and the kids, and Sweety and the whole family.

The noFair household

I’m so sorry Ninety… please try to feel these healing thoughts I’m sending your way.

I’m crying with you. Big hugs, babe.

Would that all step-parents took their role so seriously. I think Sweetie’s ex would be proud of you.

That is really a tragedy, Ninety. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you. And do be there for the kids, or see to it that there’s someone they can talk to – my kids’ dad passed away when they were 9 and 16, respectively, and both of them ended up needing a non-family friendly shoulder to cry on a bit.

Those poor kids! I am so sorry that 'lil Sweetie had to find her. This is just so heartbreaking. Sending prayers for strength and peaceful thoughts your way.

Thats......I dont know what to say. Youre a great person for putting the kids first. Goodluck, were here for ya.


Nothing I can say that hasn’t been said. Just echoing the sentiments.


Hugs, NinetyWt.

Hugs & thoughts going out to all of you.

Update: visitation was tonite. Lil’ Sweety’s friends have been more than good to him.

Coroner’s report says massive heart attack. Even if she had been in ICU, no dice. (I may have said that already).

Next: the going-thru of her apartment. We are working with her family to let the kids go thru and find things to keep.

Lil’ Miss put an angel teddy bear in the casket today, Lil’ Sweety an autographed baseball she gave him.

Thanks for all the well wishes … I am going to print out this page to put in their memory book.


What a horrible tragedy. I’m sure you’ll do everything you can to help get them through this, and we’ll help you.