So should we simply coordinate here as to when we want to actually sign on and play each match?
If it tickles your fancy, can we get an after action report?
I should be available most any time this weekend. I’ve got a cold so I’m staying home mostly anyway. Whatever works as far as times.
If not this weekend, than any evening other than Monday is fine.
I’ll be checking in afternoons and evenings all weekend. Anytime should do for me except Sunday 4PM to 7PM.
I think that’s the easiest way (or send PMs). I didn’t see anything on the Cyanide interface for scheduling games, apart from the option to chat with other coaches who are on line. The league setting are for one game/week, so there’s no hurry.
Actually, I’m not entirely sure how to set up to play the games once both coaches are online, though I’m hoping the necessary options will become visible when it happens.
I figure that’s the simplest, yeah. Either directly in the thread or via PMs. The alternative (everyone checking in every day at a fixed time of day to see whether or not their appointed opponent shows up) is obviously quite annoying.
Having dug deeper, there is a mail system on the Cyanide server. But it’s just as simple to do it here.
First game was played tonight. And, just for mlees, we have an on-the-spot report:
<Report by Subnee, kicker with the Blood-feet Boyz>
*Well, we was only s’posed t’be fightin’ a buncha wimpy gobbos, so all the boyz were pretty up for it anyway, and da coach he said we could have rats all round for evry one of dem touchdowns we score. 'Course when we turn up the gobbos have a pair of Big Guyz wiv 'em and a bunch of those fun tings Coach sez we’re not allowed to play with 'coz it gets Nuffle mad at him.
Well, I kicks 'em the ball and the boyz go to work. Didn’t start out too good. The gobbos must of been rolled in oil or sumfing 'cos they kept slipping away when we hit ‘em ‘sted of fallin’ down like they oughta. Dere toyz looked real fun - there was one guy swinging a big ball an’ batting the Black Orks around ‘till they tried to turn gobbo and slip off. An’ another guy wiv a big choppa wiv real teef. I wanted dat one reel bad, but 'for I could give him what for some pansy git in a striped shirt came and blew a whistle in 'is ear and 'e ‘ad to go off. An’ the guy wiv de big ball fell down and 'it imself on de 'ead, the dum gobbo.
Doz gobbos was still bein’ slippy. We thort we ‘ad de one wiv de ball and then he runs straight pas’ two ov our boyz and into de enzone and starts strutting about like he’s Gork’s gift. Coach wasn’t best pleased, and den when we get de ball we still can’t hit the gobbos good enough and wen ol’Hands Gramnast makes a run for de endzone two of ‘em catch him and knock him down. I could see Coach steamin’ on de sidelines but den Big Galth, he sees there’s only one more gobbo 'tween ‘im an’ de endzone so ‘e jus’ picks up de ball and runs right over 'im and kills 'im dead. So we 'ad a touchdown too and Coach let us 'av rats at 'alftime so dat was all right.
Second ‘alf, I reckon de gobbos must’ve licked all the oil off at halftime ‘coz they wern’t half as slippy after that. They kep’ trippin’ up and fallin’ down before de boyz could even 'it 'em, which was a real pansy trick if y’ask me. And when dey do try ‘an stand up ‘an fight back de git wiv de whistle comes an’ breaks it up again. We get anuffer of doz touchdowns an’ only one Big Guy and four-five gobbos still wants to play after that. But I kicks ‘em the ball anyway and one of ‘em grabs it and gives it to anuffer one who runs up to the Big Guy an’ starts pullin’ on 'is arm. So de Big Guy picks ‘im up an’ drops 'im on 'is 'ed which looked fair to me but probly wasn’t what 'e wanted. So we beats ‘em up and gets anuffer touchdown and den de fans get bored and start de party early so I don’ 'av to kick it again.*
(Blood-feet Boyz [Merrick] 3 - Killer Carnie Clowns [GreedySmurf] 1
Kudos to GreedySmurf for keeping a sporting attitude after Nuffle turned against him big-time in the second half. )
I’ll try and be on sometime late night (for me) tomorrow, which should be evening-ish over there in US Central. I *think *7pm there is either 12 or 1 over here, so i’ll be on at the hours then and for a while after.
Sounds good to me. I check in @ 7.
Well Rats vs. Lizards ended in a draw but it was a close thing. Lizards owned the second half leaving my rats to drop things, fall down and bleed a lot.
Great game. Much more stimulating than playing against the AI.
Thanks RT.
It was a good game! The RNG seemed like it had decided to hand me a final chance to score in the last two turns, but my closest skink at the end was one panel short, including goings-for-it, which seemed only fair considering your rats really didn’t have a good time of it at that point.
I’ll be home from work at about 3:45 eastern today, Omi. So any time after that should work.
Should be a good matchup. I’ll have to rethink my formations. In most of my games against the AI, I’ve had big guys to deal with so I’ve positioned my troll slayers to help against them. I don’t think the Dark Elves have a tree guy, do they have some other big guy? I’ll have to look.
I don’t expect to score a lot. I just need to grind it out, and get into lots of tackle zones. The best I’ve had with the Dwarves was a 3-0 victory, and that was after utterly demolishing some AI goblins. I’ve had a lot of ties so far in play. If I get 2 points I’ll consider that a major success offensively.
Also I need to remember, I’m not playing as my other dwarf team that has a faster runner (MA upgrade to 7), and a runner with pass, so I have to make sure I don’t rely on abilities I don’t have on this team.
Can’t wait to play.
Thanks, merrik, for putting in that effort.
Your ork accent is thick, but fun to read.
Results: 1-1
For a Dwarven Perspective:
“I’m here with Uzkil Thagi-Troll of the Dwarven Silver Hammers team. Uzkil, as your team’s mvp, can you tell us what the team was thinking and talking about during the game?” The human reporter asked.
“Gimme a sec,” Uzkil says, putting a huge flagon of ale onto the table. Another one, empty, sits next to this one.
“This is how I see it, lass. Starts out, none of us dwarfs knows quite what to do, first game ya see. We still getting sturdy out there, and the Elfs were too. They still warming up. They move forward with da ball, we try to push them back, knock em down, but they are very fast. Looking grim at first. Its back and forth, like a flagon slidin down the bar. Never know what gonna happen next.”
He takes another long drink from the flagon.
“We were dominatin’ the line. But the sides were killin’ us. Elves were all over the sides, mostly da right side. But we were able to push push push, and we got the ball. We started to move on the left. Moving forward. Then OUR runner gets knocked on the head, and the Elves rush in like a pack of cheetahs. They were moving fast, they were ready, they moved around us like we were statues. Could barely blink me eyes and I look back, and there’s the Elf, in the end zone.”
The reporter asked, “What happened then. Your team isn’t known for being the fastest in the league, and the half was almost over. What did you say in the huddle?”
"Coach was tough. He said, not lookin good this half, but we gotta go fer it. Left side lucky side is our philosophy. Don’t know why, maybe cause most of us are left handed. All game, we had the left side, and it was OUR side. Da elf side was the right side.
We moved the runners down the field. We’d caught it good. First thing right. The guy with the ball was in contact with one of da Elfs. It’d been a scrum, and dey was fighting us. We tried to push dat Elf down. Shoved em back. Not good enough, she was still in da runner’s way. So we went at da Elf again. And our guy fell down.
Only one other Dwarf fell down all game. Maybe two, maybe. So the first half was over. We’d been fighting. Knocked some elves down good. Fightin, fightin. Some of them were not feeling so good. So we looked forward to da second half.
Ya see, our coach knew that the first half was not our time. We won the coin, but we kicked it, cause we wanted the ball when it was OUR TIME. So we get the ball, second half. We knock down their WHOLE line. We go forward move our flanks forward, get the ball, play safe.
Our line-dwarfs are free. So we pull some off the line to create a separation on the left side. See, the left side comes up again. We try to knock more down, and two Elves go down hard trying to run away. We were happy about that. Start of the second half, I think they had 9 elves on the field. It was down to 7 before too long.
But we weren’t going for a win. We had to pull for a draw. No way we could score, get the ball back and score again. So we go for a draw. We hit, we move our guy down the field. A couple close calls. Like in the first half, it was still a fight. But we manage to score.
The ball goes back to the Elves. This was the game, right here. That’s what coach said. We had to stop them, whatever, however. Its 1-1, time for the game dwarves. That’s what he said.
Looked comical on the field at first. But almost blew it. They didn’t have much time left, and their thrower fumbled it. So we had a couple guys, first only one, on their receiver. Once again, they was on the right. We should have moved more guys right. They had no one open on the left, but one Elf on the right. And we forgot they can stand up, run away from two of our guys and go catch it. And they almost did.
Last play of da game. Elf stands up. Looks at two of me’ dwarfs, runs away from dem, no problem. But doesn’t quite get away before fallin down… Scary."
The reporter looked up, asking one more question, “What are you going to take away from this game?”
“Gotta respect da Elves. Don’t let them sneak away. Don’t matter if you got two guys watchin one elf. Gotta think about what they can do if they run.”
Our game ended 1-1, and a pretty good time was had by all! My report follows:
<reported by Nafaduk, assistant coach of The Sedimentaries, and Bill, aspiring sports journalist and color commentator>
Nafaduk: Filthy dwarves, and their filthy silver hammers! I don’t see why they only received 10k worth of inducements- their players are all obviously drunk, and the game has not even started yet! They obviously need all the help they can get.
Bill: Well, it’s a bea-utiful day to indulge in a vicious, cutthroat battle! And speaking of vicious, today’s matchup brings you the Dark Elf Sedimentaries versus the Dwarf Silver Hammers! The two team representatives are meeting at the 50 yard line for the coin toss, and- my word, what on earth is that witch elf wearing?
Nafaduk: We choose Heads! For that is what we shall rend from your hapless dwarf bodies! Filthy human. I’ll snap you in two. After the game.
Bill: Well the coin is up, and it’s down, and- heads, it is indeed heads! The elves get to choose starting positions!
Nafaduk: Of course it is heads, that was our will. And we will that we will receive the kickoff like you all shall receive horrors at our hands, and our feet, and at the edge of our minotaurs!
Bill: Yea, that’s great. Anyway, here’s the kickoff, and the dark elves make a Quick Snap! They’re repositioning their players, it looks like the witch elf is inching up a bit, but everyone on the line of scrimmage is predictably taking a step back.
Nafaduk: We skulk in the shadows.
Bill: Yea, that’s great. Anyway, the witch elf has inherited the kickoff, she’s making here way up the line, and-oh! That looks like it hurt, she was tackled square in the middle of her run and is laid out on the 50 yard line with the ball beside her.
Nafaduk: …that was planned, planned I say!
Bill: What a tragic way to start the game. Well, here come the dwarves to scoop up the ball, but- oh dear, they have failed to pick it up!
Nafaduk: A ball sullied by the hands of a true witch elf cannot be caged by mere dwarven hands!
Bill: Well I don’t know about that but it’s obvious that this witch elf isn’t casting a spell on anyone, she is STILL unconscious on the side of the field! With no help from their star player the elves are going to have to cowboy up and break something to get over this mountain. Here comes a linebacker, he has the ball, here he comes past the dwarf cage forming around the fumbled ball, and he-oh my good, he just dodged one, two, no three dwarves! He has the ball! He has it, it looks like he’s lining up for a pass, yes, it’s a lateral across the entire field aaaaand it’s caught! The ball has been successfully caught and the receiving linesman is now hauling his skinny ass down the field as fast as his legs can carry him!
Nafaduk: As fast as the dark will of his coaches urges him!
Bill: That too. He’s approaching the 35 yard line, but here comes a blitz! The dwarf blocker is coming and OOMPH, that looked like a bad hit! The runner is down, he definitely isn’t getting back up!
Nafaduk: We stand unperturbed!
Bill: Yea, that’s actually a problem, because with all this hubub around the ball it looks like the elves haven’t done a good job at maintaining their distance from the defenders. The dwarfs are starting to tackle anything that moves and let’s see, that’s four, five… wow, six elves knocked down in a single play!
Nafaduk: We shall count our victories from tallies hewn on the skulls of our enemies! For behold, one of our linesmen has retrieved the ball, and unbeknownst to the ale-sodden bearded ones, our With Elf has penetrated their lines and stands alone and unaccounted deep within the defense zone!
Bill: Well penetration isn’t helping anyone today, because the dwarves have managed to form a ramshackle cage of dwarven gristle (and players) around the elf ball carrier! There’s only one open slot left, and here comes a dwarven blitz to fill it up! The ball carrier fumbles and goes down hard! The blitz has left the elves ball free on the field, it could be anyone’s game right now!
There are dwarves everywhere, no luck knocking any more elves down but they’re shoving in every direction, trying to clear an aisle, and, oh here come the troll slayers! They’ve sandwiched an unwitting linesman, they’ve both frenzied, it’s pandemonium in the center of the field!
Nafaduk: Filth and damnation, the hairy ones have acquired the ball! They ferry it down the right side of the field, we have no recourse! All of our linesmen are on the left, nobody can reach him and he is turns away from reaching our end zone!
Bill: The Sedimentaries might be elves but they sure look like goblins by the way they’re sprinting ineffectively about the field. They may be fast, but there’s only so much they can do when they’re this badly out of position. It looks like only two elves are going to be within range of the ball carrier, and here come the dwarf blockers to move them away! The first blocker rolls a blue arrow, he re-rolls, and he gets another arrow! He can’t do anything but move a defender one block away. Here comes the dwarf ball carrier, he’s moving out of the tackle zone, he rolls to dodge- it’s red, he’s rolled a red skull! It looks like the Hammers are going to use their last re-roll here, and he botches it! It’s another red skull, the dwarf ball carrier fumbles!
Nafaduk: Joyous tidings, for in the wake of their humiliating reminder of the ale-soaked futility that suffocates their efforts, the elf linesmen approach to intercept! They’re coming up the sideline, their frontrunner stoops down- and he has it! He has the ball in hand, he dodges past a blocker, he’s lining up his throw, it looks good! It surpasses one, two, no, three attempts at dwarf interception-
Bill: …and the witch elf catches it! She’s alone at the 40, the 30, the 20, the 10, she rolls for the extra distance, aaand TOUCHDOWN!
Nafaduk: Tribulations!
Bill: No time to celebrate just yet because here comes the kickoff, to the dwarves! But what’s this? The crowd is cheering, the Sedimentaries get an extra re-roll! They’ve dropped the ball square in the far corner of the dwarves’ zone, they can’t get anyone down there to reach it this turn! It looks like they’re taking it out on the line of scrimmage though, because here comes a troll dwarf with a blitz into the offensive zone to hit the witch elf! Oh, they’re mad! They’re following up with another two dwarves in an attempt to box the witch elf, it doesn’t look like the dwarves are taking any chances on letting her get free again after that last touchdown.
Nafaduk: Frenzied barbarians! Their troll slayers are berserk, they have put down all three of our kinsmen on the line of scrimmage! Meanwhile their accursed, flea-ridden bearer of poorly-timed flatulence has managed to retrieve the ball. We have managed to dodge some of our kin away, but wait! Their thrice-ignonamous troll slayer has blitzed our witch elf again! How foul of temper and tepid of breath, these rotgut-obsessed vertically disinclined wretches.
Bill: But their breath isn’t all that’s foul, because the elves have turned an incomplete pass into a forced turnover! The ball is loose on the turf, it’s sitting right next to the witch elf!
Nafaduk: Fie I say, fate smiles upon us in vain, for no sooner does our linesman approach than he finds himself clotheslined by the burly mound of tendon and gristle that constitutes a dwarf arm! The ball remains loose, but in the scuffle the foul motherless oft-begotten sons of a population with an alarmingly skewed gender distribution have surrounded our witch elf! She dodges, the troll slayer frenzies and strikes again, but she turns, and dodges-and counters! Take heart citizens, our witch elf has struck the troll slayer down! He isn’t getting up any time soon, and- halftime!
Bill: Talk about saved by the bell. If the bell was a whistle. Regardless, nobody’s getting saved tonight because the second half is about to begin. Here’s the kickoff, straight to the far corner, and after a bit of wind disturbs its trajectory the dwarves snap it to the right.
There’s a lot of shuffling and maneuvering behind the dwarf line, they’re re-organizing internally and whoops, there go the elf lineman! One down, one dodges- oh wait, troll frenzy, he’s down too, and yes, the third is down for the count! And here comes the blitz… and a fourth elf is down!
The elves are moving into a defense posture, but to little effect because the last standing linesman in the formation just got clobbered!
Nafaduk: Pain and blasphemy, for another elf still has fallen, this time directly by the accursed sideline! Two bile-smelling mead-stinkers press their case, it appears to be two on one for the price of three in the dwarf dugout tonight and our elf isn’t buying but they are certainly selling, directly into his face!
Bill: I don’t even know what to say to that, so I’m going to enjoy keeping a bit of my sanity by pretending like you never said it. The elves are pulling back into their zone now, putting a bit of room between themselves and the dwarves. One of the elves is back on his feet, and look out! He has an unobstructed lane to the dwarf ball carrier! He’s up, he’s off, Here’s the blitz, and- he’s down again, plastered by the ball carrier.
Nafaduk: Meanwhile on the sideline it’s up to four dwarves fouling a single unconscious elf! They make dwarf-cream sundaes here tonight, and it looks like they’re using dark elf blood for the cherries!
Bill: You seriously need to seek some professional therapy, and not just as a result of this game, but it looks like it’s well on its way to becoming a contributing factor to your psychosis for there goes another elf down, that’s the sixth elf who’s had to be evacuated on account of concussion! With six elves out due to knockouts and two to injuries, they’re really starting to hut for numbers.
Nafaudk: The unshaven spawn of a thousand haphazard applications of deodorant try to clobber their way out! They’re in a melee, there’s dust flying everywhere and, from the center of the field out pop the unconscious bodies of our remaining brethren! It appears as if every single penetrator has been blocked and rebuffed! Oh, what (lack of) humanity!
Bill: The elves’ attempt to break up the dwarf offensive play has failed and they appear to be beating a tactical retreat! They are keeping in a huddle to themselves as they get out of the way and it looks like they’re trying to let the dwarves score. One of them looks awfully short though- oh no, what’s this? A lone dwarf has been trapped in the middle of a dark elf cluster! They’re blocking, he’s down, and- here comes a blitz! I don’t believe it, an elf linesman is charging from across the field to tackle an already-downed player! Here comes the dogpile, and- OOF, that looks like it hurt! Luckily the ref blew the whistle, if that had gone on much longer the dwarf might’ve actually felt it!
Nafaduk: Expletives and rubbish, the festering bearers of ingrown toenails and overgrown chia pets masquerading as faicial hair have sidelined an elf in retribution, taking him out of the game!
Bill: The dwarves are all alone out there, but they don’t seem to be doing anything! They’re waiting, and waiting… aaaand TOUCHDOWN dwarves! The dwarves are now on the board, making the game 1-1!
Here comes the kickoff to the elves, they recieve, they’re passing it up the field, and-fumble! They fumbled the pass! Oh the elven lack of humanity!
Nafaduk: Or morals.
Bill: Or manners. And once more looks like the dwarves are going straight for the witch elf! She’s down for good, looks like. But here comes the ball carrier for the dark elves and oh, no! He missed the ball pick-up, it’s still loose! The ball is still loose, and here come the dwarves! They’re charging up the line, they’ve reached the ball, the elves are about to turn over the kickoff in their own zone!
Nafaduk: But wait, the dwarves fumble the pick-up too! The elves have scooped it up, they’re passing it up the line, it’s down to the 50, the 40, the-
Bill: And there’s the whistle signalling end of play! Good game everyone.*
Incidentally, what am I supposed to do with my witch elf while on defense? It seems logical for the strength teams to try and pummel her every round, and if I lose her I’m screwed, but just pulling her into my endzone and keeping her out of the play feels like an enormous waste.
Keeping her back, but within her own blitz distance of the line, is one option versus strength teams, as they won’t be able to touch her but she will be able to react to any attempt to break through your line.
I myself am more aggressive. Especially if the opponent doesn’t have any tacklers, I use her to try to get the ball. I forget if she has Leap. If she does, and the opponent has no Guarders, you can leap right into the cage and have a 1 die block most of the time versus the ball carrier once you touch the outer sides of the cage.
But heck, even if they don’t have leap, I usually keep even my important players in the front. If my opponent tries too hard to injure them, they risk leaving themselves open, and they are up front where they can be useful every turn.
On the other hand, sometimes I don’t play my best players on the field if I have enough scrubs in reserve, but that’s another story.
Thanks again for the entertaining write-ups!
Incidentally, as the dark elves what should I be thinking about using my money on? I already have fan-factor, some re-rolls, and an apothecary, should I be saving up for more specialized units and/or amassing a rainy day fund for potential elf casualties, or what?