Well here’s my question. I have never given a blowjob before, and was wondering if i could get some advice. Alls I can say is that i’m really psyched about doin, and most of all it really turns me on just thinking about rubbing cum all over my body afterwards. So i want some advice about what it’s like, and what helps to make oral sex better:) Thanks
Umm, can you come over for dinner and say that to me in a low, sultry voice?
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeembo
Damn I am lucky to have found you, Amber- I can’t wait till we’re married 
::eyes thread title::
Roberta Williams is designing adventure games again…and boy how things have changed! 
Well, despite the fact that the tone of the OP leads me to believe that this post is looking more for giggles than information, this is The Straight Dope®, so I will point out that a simple query using the SDMB search engine indicates that we have, indeed, (as usual) already addressed this issue:
Oral Sex Techniques
Tom, what you wrote is true. But think how much poorer our lives would be without Amber’s post.
But some of us like to have this issue addressed every time it comes up.
[sub]Well, somebody had to say it.[/sub]
As NWA so eloquently put it: Don’t matter, just don’t bite it.
Little Nemo and Bumbazine, you will notice that I made no attempt to stop the thread, going so far as to link to a very good thread on the subject.
This is The Straight Dope® and fighting ignorance is our avocation.
According to recent reports if Amber is thinking about it, but hasn’t done it yet, then she is finishing the sixth grade and getting ready for the seventh.
Amber
How you doin’?
Terminus, I’m going to give you the benefit of doubt and assume you weren’t responding to kniz’ post.
:eek:
If you need someone to practise on then just give me a call. 
…what a great thread 
Would this be the right forum to admit I’ve never received?
In response to the question: “What’s the best way to perform fellatio/cunnilingus?”, I always have the same advice, “enthusiastically.”
From your post, I’d say you’ll do just fine.
Well, I’ll be one of the few guys that aren’t going to make a joke out of this. As a guy, I appreciate the enthusiasm that you’re showing, and by asking questions. There’s really no wrong way. It depends on what the guy’s into. Some guys like you to use your hand at the same time (I myself like this). Some guys don’t. A lot of guys like to be able to watch you while you do it. Makes it a little more intimate if you make eye contact while this is going on. Overall, the most important thing is that you check with the guy to find out what he likes. Some guys like it when the girl will insert a finger into their anal opening. Some guys do not get into that at all. Most guys are more than willing to let you know what feels good to them and what doesn’t.
???
My dear, allow me you send you my address and should you drop in for a visit, I assure you, all of your questions will not only be demonstrated, but answered as well. Hummmm? Do you prefer wine, burbon or beer – or all?
“just thinking about rubbing cum all over my body afterwards.”
No, you’re thinking of a handjob.