Yes, I Rand Mcnally, will rule the world. First I will establish my own country, which will call The People Democratic Republic of Happiness (sounds a bit better than The Despotic Police State of Tyrannical Oppresion).
Once I consilodate (sp?) my own power, I will then turn my attention to the outside world. All who fight me will be defeated.
BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!!!
My mother is starting to worry because I planned everything out.
No. If you can’t spell consolidate, you don’t deserve the world.
Unless you promise me the following countries: Australia, Scotland (as a separate entity from England), and Japan.
I’m not surprised.
To tell the truth, I and my friends discovered years ago that the true rulers of the world are hidden from our view.
Just look at Atlantis. Oh, yes; it’s really there.
The thing is, Rand McNally, in it’s bid for power, is hiding it on all the maps so the Splugorth don’t get any play.
Makes sense, eh?
I will grant you said countries, only if you pledge your loyalty to me. In fact, you can have England also.
On the same note, all who join my cause will be spared from the purging, hopefully, there will be A LOT of purging. Of course it won’t be called purging, it’ll be called the happy no death thing. How can anyone dislike the happy no death thing?
Hunh unh! I remember what happened the last time I bowed down in front of a future despotic overlord. I at least want France and Italy out of a good bowing down.
Oooh! Oooh! Ooooh! Can I help purge? I’ve always thought that I could make a good purger type guy thing someday! I could be like the supreme purger guy! Maybe you could give us all Muammar Kadaffi like titles, like “Supreme overlord of the world” would be just a lowly secretary. Anyone higher than her gets the really fancy titles.
Good enough.
You’ll have to hire the goths to make up your army of the damned, since I don’t think they’ll be into anything happy or deathless.
Oooh, ooh, can I get a country? Pretty pretty please? I’d be real good to it, and remember to feed it and walk it every day, Rand, pleeeeeaaase?
Your tittle will be “The super duper no purge guy.” I think that should suit you.
Now Searching For Truth, remember last time you had a country? You said you’d feed it, walk it, and play with it everday, but after a week, I was the one that had to do all those things. Have you even noticed that you know longer have that country? You didn’t even know it was gone. But because I’m fair, I’ll let you have a territory, and if you can show me that you are responsible, maybe we’ll talk about getting you a country.
That’s the best offer I’ve had all day.
Not that I’ve had any other offers today.
Personally, I welcome our new atlas overlords.
Eutychus, which area of the world would you like? If you want, you can work in my government. You can be "The Minister of Propoganda"er…I mean “Minister of Truth.”
I like the idea of purging, ever since we became “civilized”, we’ve been seriously lacking in purgings of the natural kind. You wouldn’t even have to do anything. I’d reccomend revocation of a lot of laws designed to protect people from themselves. It’s a very passive purging, and you don’t look all evil for it.
“Oh, he didn’t wear his motorcycle helmet… poor guy.”
Take out seatbelt laws, pedestrian crosswalk signals, and give everyone a cell phone and the undesireables will weed themselves out.
And stop child-proofing stuff. It’s better for us on the whole if the kid who sticks his tongue in the electric sockets can’t reproduce.
The benefit, is that you get your mass purging, and you are still the “Overwhelmingly Elected Happy Fun Presidential Guy.” Not a single sign of holocaust or anything to dampen your overwhelmingly positive image.
modro, you are a genius! You will either be my second in command, or be purged. I can’t decide which.
Well, I hope not purged, since I would really like the opportunity to put my ideas into practice. I’m not a particularly power-hungry, so just give me a couple of hundred acres in the middle of nowhere with a nice house, and all the essentialls for life, and I’d happily help you out with the evil, as long as it is a transparent evil, to keep your public image up.
Plus a cool title.
I gotta have a cool title.
On further reflection, I will need a more direct method of purging, to help rid the world of the undesirables.
Undesirables being anyone who questions my rule.
a particularly power hungry person*
Proofreading is my friend.
Oh, you just have your agents of evil distrubute tainted water at their anti Rand Mcnally-Rallies.
Just make sure the poison works slow.
sigh
It’s just like deja vu all over again…
Perhaps I should have tried to give away countries as a senseless gimmick to attract followers. I just thought it was wiser to be feared, rather than loved. I suppose only time will tell.
I wish you luck, mister roadmap publishing man trying to take over the world. Just make sure mommy doesn’t ground you and take away your dessert for staying up too late coming up with all these plans. Afterall, it would be such a shame if you should fail.