This should cover the ground.
And see also this GD thread.
That’s what the Masons want you to think!
Oh yeah, he has some good stuff about the Freemasons too. I told him to go to Jack Chick’s site, they have a lot in common. Him seeing the anti-Islam tracts would have been a bonus.
Up the ante on him: see if you can weird him out with your own loopy conspiracy theories. “Energy drinks? Shit, that’s just the government offloading its Cold War stockpiles of cough medicine - they got millions of crates still stashed in the old NORAD shelters in the Rockies.* They just mix 'em with instant coffee - course, they buy that up to keep the price of joe artificially high - baristas are all Jews, you knew that, right? - and sell 'em to an unsuspecting public at two bucks a pop. You’re drinking sixty year old Benadryl everytime you crack open one of them. Course, the Russians got their own cough medicine stocks too, but that’s another story…”
*I am not wholly convinced this isn’t true, except for the Jewish barista bit.
FYI, here’s the Straight Dope on who owns the Federal Reserve.
I think you should very carefully send him links to Chick tracts, starting off with the ones he’s bound to agree with, and then hit him with the anti-Islam tracts all in one session.
That’s right, Bill! That’s exactly right!
Regards,
BrainGlutton
Public Relations Officer
Bohemian Grove
Solution:
Looooong stare a la Paddington Bear.
“Man, you’re stupid” in the most dismissive tone you can muster.
Back to work and ignoring any subsequent interruptions.
Tada!
Does Ahmed bin Stupid know that the actor playing Borat is an observant Jew? :smack: :smack:
Lock three cats in a room overnight and you’ll get four new political parties.
And a lot of shredded curtains and stained carpeting.
Wait, wait, wait–George Bush and Queen Elizabeth are the same extraterrestrial lizard? I mean, I could maybe buy that they were two different members of the same race of lizards from outer space, but saying it’s just one lizard who has to constantly swap out rubber face masks and beam back and forth across the Atlantic Ocean or something–that’s just too much.
Think about it. Have you ever seen George Bush and Queen Elizabeth in the same room?
I could claim it was sloppy editing. But the truth is much more sinister - all world leaders are actually clones of The One Great Lizard all praise his mighty snout.
And I think he’s got a point on the 16th Amendment. It says, in its entirety: “The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several States, and without regard to any census or enumeration.” Do you see anything in there saying that Parliament has the power to lay and collect taxes in the several Provinces? Me neither. So while income taxes are legal in the United States, they’re clearly illegal in Canada.
You had me going until here - are you really this quick-witted. 
That’s just what they want you to think!
Or more to the point, it’s illegal for Parliament to collect taxes in the US.
Damn, there goes that public financing scheme. And here I thought I’d found the mother of all backdoors.
closes urgent e-mail to Jack
My two cats come in here and just… look at me. I know ther’re planning somthing. I think this this about the bluejay I woldn’t let them kill(yeah like they had a chance in hell but tell them them that). If they ever got together with the dog I’d be in big trouble, fortunatly he’s to much benieth them to even be their stooge…
Oh that in’t what you meant? Well I’m still worried.
Actually, that is the ONLY response of mine in my original post that was NOT paraphrased. By that point I was so fed up with him that I wasn’t concerned with being nice, so I just said the first thing that came to mind.
Seen it? I taped it! And I can discreetly mail you a copy in a plain brown rapper for $25.95!
(You may now reach for the brain bleach.)