Let us now resume with sdstudent1’s problems please. No more hijacks.
Even if you hadn’t had any drinking problems the amount of job switching you did right out of school is a huge red flag to potential employers now. No one wants to go to the time and expense of hiring someone who isn’t going to work there for a year. As long as they find people to fill positions who look more reliable they’re going to.
You have to ask yourself what you can do to make yourself look more attractive than everyone else. Right now you’ve got nothing, but stick out your current job at least a year and you’ve proved a lot. Keep applying whenever you can and eventually someone will hire you. To a certain extent getting a job is luck.
As far as not being willing to relocate goes, that’s a choice you’re making to earn less. My husband and I decided a long time ago that we valued where we live enough to accept lower paying jobs. We don’t spend a lot of time thinking about what we could be making elsewhere because we’re not going to go there. It doesn’t matter if you can make more if you relocate if you’re not going to do that so stop thinking about it.
If you’ve been having interviews but no one hires you maybe find a job coach to help with your interview skills. Except for your ability to drive I wonder if your DUI’s are as big a factor as you think they are.
So listen OP - I’ve been a hiring manager in the past, and you really don’t have a whole lot to recommend you. A 3.3 GPA is adequate (it doesn’t suck, but I wouldn’t be bragging about it on the internet); however, at this point in your career, I wouldn’t even look at it - I would be more interested in your job history, which frankly, is shit.
9 months is not ‘quite a while’ - it’s a blip. The fact that you’re being offered jobs speaks to a) your industry obviously has more openings than most and b) the places aren’t aware of your horrible work history.
So, with that in mind, you have a few things you need to do. Continue at your current company and work hard - continue to be promoted. Stay sober. Improve your education and skills. After a year or two, start applying again for jobs in your industry.
The number one thing you need to do is lose your horrible attitude though. The DUIs, the entitlement, the total lack of personal responsibility - none of these things suggest a sensible, mature person that I (or anyone, really) would want on my payroll. Grow up, pay your dues a little, and then start fresh.
ETA: Upon reading Zeluma’s post I’m reminded of one more thing - if your ‘total honesty’ in interviews comes across as it does in this thread, I can guess why you aren’t getting callbacks. You may think that you walk on water and that your shit doesn’t stink, but I would keep that sort of attitude to myself in an interview - no one wants to work with an insufferable braggart.
Yeah, that’s the real problem here. If you get bitter and resentful at the world it will only make you want to drink again, and then you’ll be back on the merry-go-round, much worse off. You should be patient (you have all kinds of time), and have a more appreciative attitude. A good attitude also has a better potential of attracting better job offers–people pick up on it, and it leads to networking leads.
The difference between you immediately after graduating and you now is that what you had earlier was a decent school showing and potential. Now you have a mediocre-at-best, resumé-full-of-red-flags-at-worst work history, eradicating that potential good start. You need to treat this not as a sprint but as a marathon. You have yet to show staying power – I mean, really? Your longest-held position was 9 months?
What you need to do is this: stick with being sober (seriously, kudos to you, dude! Pulling out of alcoholism is no small feat, and you should be proud of yourself, while acknowledging the cold truth that you’re in direct job competition with others who didn’t blow their first chances after school), and stick with your present job for a minimum of two high-flying years. Pour all your energy and effort into it; go for every extra responsibility and promotion you can. Look for every opportunity for continuing education. Be the most extraordinary and reliable worker they have ever seen.
This changes your work history to one with a shaky start but a strong second wind, as opposed to what you have now, which is frankly unimpressive.
Good luck to you!
That degree is possibly a bigger mistake than the DUIs. 
Seriously though, (and this is going to sound holier-than-thou and I don’t intend it to) I figured out about a year and a half into that degree program that there was no much of a future in it. I wasn’t learning anything I didn’t already know and I couldn’t see any job opportunities that didn’t involved working for the government or a big agribusiness. It was obvious that I wasn’t headed toward a high paying cowboy job (my dream job at the time) and I had had enough of the low paying kind.
So, I changed majors to engineering and started all over again. I call it the seven-year degree plan (I had to sit out a couple of semesters along to way to save up some money). It’s been a helluva ride ever since.
You’ve obviously and publicly screwed up. They only way to recover from that is to do some obvious and public hard work. There are no shortcuts. Regardless of your choice of career path, the evidence of the hard work is the only thing that the people with decision-making power are going to respect. Get to it.
Not seeing a lot of ownership of, y’know, actually being an alcoholic.
And I fear, without that self awareness, the rest is just hot air. (Seriously? Liver failure from stress, not alcohol abuse? That made me laugh out loud, so thanks for that?)
Which leads me to believe, you may be destined for, yet another, lap around the track, before you get the full learning. Try to remember that self loathing doesn’t shorten the journey. Self loathing is a form of ego mania, I believe. So when you realize that the cycle is repeating, again, man up and take your lap, vowing, ‘Never, ever, again!’ Lot’s of people have to learn life’s lesson’s more than once, to truly get it.
I wish you nothing but luck with your sobriety, I think you’re going to need it.
I am curious why you want that high paying job so badly, if, as you say, all is so well. The house, the car, the farm, the payments being met, etc. Sounds pretty rosy, as you’ve described it, what is it you want for, that drives you to seek, that high paying job, if you don’t mind my asking?
If it’s because you want to apply yourself or feel fulfilled, well, that’s a lofty goal, to be sure. But there are ways to get that without the high powered job, y’know.
I’m wondering how someone who is as young as the OP and has burned so many bridges has had a chance to acquire a house and hundreds of acres of land.
Family connections, perhaps? It sure seems like it. And I’m betting that’s how he has got his first job. Of course he won’t admit it. But most people don’t get hired by bosses who call up their parents and know all their problems.
I suspect that’s another reason why he’s reluctant to move. If he moves, he knows he won’t be that “somebody” he’s used to being. Or once was. There’s nothing wrong with having family connections. But then don’t brag about how responsible and hard-working you are. Everyone looks like good people when they’ve been set up nicely.
sdstudent1, you don’t have to explicitly say something for you to make an impression. You impress me as someone who has an over-inflated sense of yourself. Perhaps in your little world, you ARE hot stuff and you will all show us one day. But why should we care that the sheriff waves at you? Why should a prospective employer? Are you going to put the sheriff down as a reference?
Not all is lost, as I said earlier. By sticking with this job for awhile (at least a year, but I’d say you have to stay longer than that if you want to be promoted and redeem your resume), you’ll start to see things come together. Or not, unfortunately. Life is often unpredictable and most times there’s no reason why things don’t work out. Sometimes living in the moment and appreciating what you have now is much better than living in the future.
Stop thinking about “before”. So much has changed since then.
You own your own home, and vehicles, and have farm land. You have a job you are doing well at.
Now look forward. If you went back to school, what would you do?
Without thinking about before, what most dissatisfies you about the current job?
It’s too soon to know whether time alone (distance from the DUIs and the bad work history, plus time for a closer opportunity to arise) will get you a job you will be happier with. Maybe you should set yourself a timeline for deciding about school, or a different plan B. Years, not months.
Also, have you talked to a career counselor? Maybe there is a plan B that doesn’t depend on driving.
Lastly, I don’t recall from the thread, are you in some form of therapy? Living close to your mom so you don’t start drinking again doesn’t sound like a long term strategy.
I’m wondering if the ‘sd’ in your name stands for South Dakota.
I’m thinking you got 2 choices:
- stay where you are and spend a couple of years fixing up your reputation; or
- pick up and move, which doesn’t seem to be an option for you.
Good news is, there is demand for your degree. Bad news is, there’s not a demand for people with DUIs.
What about starting small at an ag dealership? It’d be something crappy, but you’ll get to know people and they’ll say you’re reforming yourself.
I passed the thread for a few days while I thought about it. I did not read the other responses yet, so apologies to people who gave the same advice before me.
A third DUI would end your prospects for a somewhat normal life in my opinion. So stop drinking. Don’t take up other bad habits, including over eating. Go to AA meetings because they will get you on the 12 steps, and they will help you recognize the bridges you burned and make amends in a methodical and socially acceptable way. Professionally, the people you burned are not going to rehire you, however, they will appreciate an amends if it is sincere. AA meetings can help you deal with the stressers that lead you to drinking far more effectively than drinking.
I have to agree. The thing is, OP, you’re looking at this like it’s basically just about adding all the good stuff together – well, you got a great offer right out of college, and you still have that education, plus a bit more experience so you should get as good an offer – if not more!
That’s not the way it works, though. The bad stuff counts too. The lack of any kind of substantial job history since then will hurt. It’s one thing to rely solely on your degree right after you graduate, it’s another to do it now. If I was looking to hire, your job history would be a huge red flag to me – you’ve screwed up, a lot. Even just the lack of longevity at any job is a flag. Heck, I worry about having just one job since college that was as short as 9 months (even though the other jobs are all in the 3+ years range) because people want you to explain why. On top of that, a DUI (let alone multiple) can flat out eliminate you from plenty of jobs, including white collar ones that don’t involve driving. I used to work at a call center, and our hiring model was temp-to-perm – but if you had multiple DUIs, unless someone in management was willing to seriously fight for you (meaning not just adequate performance, I’m talking rock star performance), you were a temp forever. No way you were getting hired full time because the company did background checks.
That said, I don’t mean I want you to give up hope. Lots of companies are willing to give someone a chance, but you’re nearly certainly going to end up with a lower offer and be expected to prove yourself. The first thing I’d do, were I in your shoes, is to sit tight in your job for a full year minimum before you consider looking for work elsewhere. Six months just isn’t very much time and you want to demonstrate that your flighty ways are squarely in the past.
Interviewing will be hard, but the more time you spend sober, the more you have to talk about that rather than the stuff that came before. Understand, though, that in this economy, they really don’t need to give you a chance – there are plenty of people on the market willing to take the job who don’t have that history. It’s not insurmountable but it really does require you to put in effort to overcome. You need to be that much more desirable to overcome negatives. With a history of burned bridges, the other thing I’d be doing is starting to facilitate a network and look very hard for excellent references. You will need them. Not just from supervisors, but from co-workers – and clients, if you can manage it. Anything that you can do to show that you’re a changed person will help, and people on the lookout to help you is always a good thing, even if they’re not in the industry you want.
I don’t drink anymore, so no felony dui for me. Overeating is impossible for me. I’m 6 foot 2 and weigh 175 as we speak. I made it up to 203 once but that was very short lived. I go to lots of AA meetings. Do I walk the walk though and follow the steps? Not really, but I do stay sober.
Of course I’d never use the sheriff as a reference. I was thinking more along the lines of using him as a reference in my case for having my 2nd dui covered up. He’s one person that seemed impressed by my responsibility after showing a bunch of irresponsibility. When I was wearing that SCRAM bracelet, every time he called me to come to his office and have it reset because it was acting weird, I showed up immediately. He always said “you don’t waste any time, do you?” But that probably doesn’t mean anything and apparently my lawyer is a dumbass and so am I for pursuing the case, right? I’m not expecting anything from it, just hoping for the best. I always do.
I still don’t know why some of you are downgrading my choice of college studies. Should I have gone for liberal arts?
Most everything I have that costs money is a virtue of my dad dying when I was 21. Before I get bashed for inheriting some money, please note that I did not piss it away like so many others do. I pissed away a (very) small chunk of it a few years back gambling and doing other stuff but the rest has been used for improvements and investments. My reasoning for wanting a higher paying job is indeed to prove myself to me and to increase my wealth. I actually do have my own ag dealership. I sold some wheat seed to two guys before I got on the computer this morning, but having my own business like that is no guarantee for income.
The fact that I was offered two good, high-paying jobs right after college had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with any sort of family ties at all. It was all me. I don’t trust most of my family and keep them out of the loop of most of my career choices these days. A lot of funny business happened in my family when my dad died so I keep them out of what I’m doing.
As far as not being able to move, that is still the gospel, but almost all of the jobs I’d be looking at are home-based, and currently there aren’t any openings according to the one website I frequent that lists most jobs available within my industry, but I am looking towards the future. I am in the process of applying for one job that is not home based right in my own home town. It’s not my ideal job, but a starting point as it would get me out of a factory and back into the industry.
I have a recruiter/head-hunter working for me right now. He says there are a couple jobs like the ones I am preferably looking for that he says I’d be qualified for that would be available after the first of the year. This guy is not a professional bull-shitter. His job is to hook people up with jobs and stay with them. That is how he makes his money.
I’m still trying to figure out where this ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude you guys paint me with is coming from. I grunt with a bunch of Hispanics (actually I only do that about 10% percent of the time, the rest of my job is spent running a process via computer) and I do not sit in the break room and gloat about how much better I am than the job and my coworkers. I might seem that way on this anonymous website but in real life I’m pretty humble, and I keep my mouth shut.
And as far as not owning up, I starting drinking when I was 19, it turned into a real problem when I was 21, I got a dui because I was driving drunk, coming home from visiting a girl, I turned into what I’d call a problem drinker right before my 22nd birthday because I was too far from home and lonely. I started drinking in the morning to keep on the buzz I had a acquired from drinking to pass out every night. That kept on for seven months until I went to in-patient. I started up again about a month after in-patient because I didn’t feel it was the time for me to quit. I went back to full on raging right before my 23rd birthday and kept on trucking for three months before they picked me up for the second time. When they got me then I wasn’t partying or carousing or chasing women or coming home from the bar. I was sitting in my house, alone, chugging a bottle of white rum. I decided to go for a ride to go look at some crops and couldn’t keep it between the lines. After that I quit and have been sober since.
One thing I want to note is that (for me at least) stress=drinking=more stress=more drinking=still more stress=still more drinking. Failure has a place in that equation too, I’m just not sure where to put it, probably pretty close to the beginning. It’s a vicious circle we talk about in rehab quite a bit.
My reputation locally is still pretty good. It’s surprising how many people don’t read the court news section of the paper. I spent the whole rest of my life cultivating the reputation of being a good kid and there are still a lot of people around who think of me that way.
Quotes like these, from you, from earlier in this thread:
(emphasis mine)
As has already been noted by other posters in this thread, those sorts of terms (and the attitudes they connote) make you sound pretty bad. Whether or not it’s the message you’re intending to communicate, they make you sound like you believe the world owes you a great job.
Also the continued harping about your good reputation around town.
It’s like harping about how good your breath smells. No one ever thinks it’s as bad as it really is, because no one ever knows how it actually is. Now your reputation may be excellent, sdstudent1. It’s just that I wouldn’t bet on anything. Or be so certain. Try to live without those kinds of assumptions and expectations.
Anyway, it sounds like you’re getting along pretty swell in life. Why so impatient for bigger and better? Is it a quarter life crisis? I would think that taking things a little slow is better for your mental and physical health. As Biggie wisely said, more money, more problems. A person whose sobriety is delicate may want to hold back on “problems” for awhile. Right?
Another way to look at this is that perhaps if you had started off slow, you would have never gotten in trouble with alcohol. I’m agnostic and so I don’t believe it–but maybe this is meant to be.
After reading all your posts, I’m still not sure what you want in terms of a career, and I frankly don’t think you do either.
You want to stay where you are and be a farmer, but
You want a high-paying job, but
You already have your own ag dealership, and you don’t think that’s going to be enough, but
You understand that stress=drinking and failure=stress.
If you get a high-powered job because it means more money, will you be able to deal with the additional stress that comes with it? If you find your chances for success too limited where you are, will you be willing to move, or would you rather stay and keep the farm?
I’ve known a lot of smart, ambitious people in my life. Some of them succeeded. Some made a mistake at a critical point. Some couldn’t handle the stress. Some decided they’d rather do something they loved rather than something that paid well. Some never decided at all and drifted along for decades.
Maybe, when everything is said and done, what might actually be best for you is to sit at a computer and run a process, farm a couple of hundred acres on your own and sell a little seed on the side. It’s not a bad life.
So why take on the stress of getting back into an industry that was your undoing earlier, if you don’t need to? I can understand not liking the cheese factory and wanting to switch. But to go back into the kitchen, knowing you can’t stand the heat, seems a little like a moth to a flame to me. ( Sorry about the mixed metaphors!)
There’s a lot of us who have fucked things up by drinking too much or doing other stupid shit. Some of us have gotten past it, but unfortunately, there are a lot of people who don’t. It’s great that you are sober, but you should realize that 16 months isn’t that long. So many people relapse, and many employers are going to wait a while to see if you can stay sober for a while.
My only advice to you is to reread with people are telling you. Many of the people here are experienced at hiring people, and these experienced people are telling you that your resume would raise red flags.
(My bolding) Many highly experienced posters are saying this in a variety of ways, but I’m not sure if you are getting this. Unfortunately, no, you are not necessarily qualified for a higher paying job with less manual labor. You wouldn’t get an interview at my company because I won’t take a chance of someone who has had four jobs in two years, let alone the DUIs, especially without one single job which lasted in the four to five year range.
When you were first out of college, you were in the same boat as everyone else – no experience, but because you’ve got the degree and have an above average GPA, then employers will take a chance. They will assume that you have a reasonable work ethic and ability to cope with life, are reasonably smart and reasonably intelligent.
However, by going through a strings of jobs, getting fired, walking off, being tardy, etc. then you’ve shown an indication to potential employers that the opposite is true. People are going to look and think that something is wrong. They can’t read your soul, so they won’t know what the problems were, but anyone who have ever hired more than three employees in their live has had at least one problem employee, and we tend to be extremely skittish of red flags.
You say that you’ve turned yourself around, and I have no doubt that you have, but I still wouldn’t be the one to take a chance on you. I’ve got a business to run, and I can’t afford to have someone fuck up because it costs me too much.
You say that you can’t move away not only because of your land but also because you can’t be that far away from mamma. Why is that? If you father was an alcoholic, it’s possible you are still dealing with issues. I don’t know you, I just know a lot of people who had parents who were alcoholics, and it’s tough. I still can have trouble dealing with my fucked up childhood, and I’m 50. If you do still have issues (and I’m not suggesting that you do) by all means, take care of them now.
There are some options on how to make the best of your situation if another dream job doesn’t fall out of the sky and into your lap.
Develop a mind-challenging hobby to keep your mind going. Do you speak Spanish? Learn it, since you have plenty of people to practice it with.
Do you have any IT skills or can learn them? Web design? Ability to help your company in other areas? Volunteer for some organization? Rise up to the leadership in a volunteer organization?
If someone came to me at 29, had had two DUIs in and just out of college, a string a fuck ups for the first couple of years of work, but then had a put in a solid five years in one company, moving up into lower management, then I may give him/her an interview. If during the interview they could really demonstrate some specific steps which have shown that they now have the necessary life skills, then I may give them a chance.
You’ve put in your dues once by getting through school. Because of your setbacks, just think of it as now needing to put in your dues once again. It sucks, but it’s necessary.
The nice thing is that you are still very young (as seen by this old man) and still have time.
Just please don’t waste your time thinking you are entitled to anything and that it’s someone else’s fault that you’re not getting the dream job you feel you deserve or a qualified for. You wouldn’t believe the number of people who have started drinking again because of that.
Good luck. You actually are on your way back, even if it doesn’t seem like it now.
A lot of the things I say I shouldn’t be taken 100% literally. I have no issues with my dad dying young. Period. My parents were divorced young and I never spend enough time with him. I cried at his funeral and the moarning was done.
I think I messed up on my equation I stated earlier. It should be something more like stress+drinking=more drinking=more stress, etc. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a drink right now and I’m ready to handle a load. I’ve got other stress relievers now.
And if I do sound entitled, my apologies, because things are coming out wrong. Considering all the stupid shit I’ve been doing these passed few years, I don’t feel entitled too much. It’s hard for me to convey the true meaning of my story via words typed on a screen. In person it’s easier.
Even though I don’t trust most of my family, I just have to remain close to them. Call me a wimp but I don’t do well in new places, especially since I’m alone, no girlfriend or wife.
That’s why I failed the first job. I wasn’t too far away from home but I was all alone in a shitty apartment in a big city (I’m a small town guy, used to knowing everyone) and all I had was a jug for a hobby. Because of my commute and the hours I worked, I didn’t have time to utilize any of the few hobbies I do have, like ride motorcycle. Now I’m rooted down I found I had lots of time to ride bike over the summer, 200 miles a week usually. Without the burden of booze weighing me down I don’t watch the clock so I can get back into my car with my beloved bottle of whiskey for the ride home (sorry). Now I focus on the task at hand.
I say bring on the stress.
I do and always will farm, like any small farmer, I want to expand. Unfortunately, I’ve had two rough years. Going for broke this year, so to speak. For me though, that $50-60 grand a year job pays for a lot more equipment upgrades and land than $30,000 a year does, and my seed dealership doesn’t provide much for income other than the fact that it gives me seed for my own operation at dealer cost…
TokyoPlayer, no offense, but the first thing the lady counselor I had in out-patient rehab told me was that I should be proud of the 16 HOURS of sobriety I had at the time. It takes a year or so for a person’s brain to get back to normal after long periods of hard drinking.
I know I’m on my way back, I’m proud of my six months of solid work performance and the fact that I was promoted so quickly (over a guy who had been there longer than me none the less, does that mean anything!?!). I’ve getting a few wild hairs right now and am realizing that my so-called dream job is still a ways away, but I will keep trying for it. For the present time though, I’m trying to get back into the industry, even if it is on the floor. I’m in the process of applying at several places that might be my ticket into it. One joint I’m looking into is 40 minutes away :& But it’d be a start.
I know this industry a bit better than a lot of people on this board (unless there is an agronomist present that hasn’t piped in yet) and there is a lot of movement between jobs at six months to a year. Not trying to toot a horn, but It’s just the way things happen.