glassy look in the eyes
incoherent mumbling
beads of sweat
Damn ChiDope is going to be fun.
[another vibrator story hijack]
The last time I was in Chicago (May, this year), one of the two friends I went with purchased a new vibrator. (They’re cheaper in the U.S., it seems.) We cleared airport security and grabbed one of those airport luggage carts to haul our three overstuffed carry-ons around. After arranging our stuff on the cart, my friend C. leaned against it, then started laughing hysterically. When questioned, she managed to gasp, “Put your hand on the cart!” Us other two did so, and I almost hit the floor laughing. Our third, more conservative friend, announced, “The cart is shaking!”
C’s brand new vibrator, with the batteries they had put in it at the shop to test it, had turned itself on inside of her bag, and the entire luggage cart was vibrating. The guffaws of laughter came from thinking of what potentially could have happened had her bag started to vibrate 10 minutes earlier, while passing through the x-ray, and the hands, of security…
[/another vibrator story hijack]
Another address for KimKatt : http://www.intimategifts.com/
(Hey! I like to do research, what can I say?) 
OK Trion, I’ll try to remember to include my sig this time around. 
To answer the question:
Goodvibes.com is totally discreet. My package came with a return address of “Open Enterprises”. Never have gotten any porn, either online or via USmail.
Thank You, Globe-trotter. 
No problem, Trion.
Try not to bring it up in Dublin, ok? 
Another great way to buy such things is a “sex toy party.” A friend of mine hosted one. It’s like a tupperware party, but with more exciting goods. The saleswoman at the party I attended was very funny. We (all women) passed around each, ahem, item, while she described how it worked. Of course, much laughter ensued. (The beer probably also a factor.) Then, after we’d seen everything, we each got to go into a private room to make our purchases. Almost everyone bought something.
Would I do that?
Never!
Okay, you ladies who prefer a copilot: I want to be a copilot but I don’t want to do anything wrong—any chance of one of you sending me an illustrated training guide?
Vix - been to a few of those - they’re a riot.
Warning - Standard Requisite Guy Response ahead:
Hmmm, why does the phrase “Natural-born stick-and-rudder man” come to mind…
[earns 5 CEU’s for continued certification and annual license renewal]
I told this in another thread (?) a while back, but a GF hosted these parties - “Naughty Nighty Parties”. She had a “Jack-N-Jill” one for the gang from work. Someone’s roomie was a stripper, she started modeling, and a bunch of the women, all horribly drunk, decided not to be outdone. It was too funny to be remotely erotic. And we (guys) loved having the chance to tell them what pigs they were the next week. “Not a word” seemed to be the standard greeting Monday.
Shaky Jake
LouisB, probably the best way for you to train is to watch a session from beginning to end. Then you can move on to more hands-on training, and maybe try 'er out for some solo flights yourself.
voguevixen,
Clitorally. Penetration is nice, but IME doesn’t quite do it. As KimKatt said, where a tongue would go.
magdalene,
I have tried the dildo with the vibe, but find better results with the dildo and the fingers. As you point out, however, practice makes perfect.
Zumba,
I’ll reiterate what everyone else has said - http://www.goodvibes.com is discrete. The package did not come with an orange “WARNING: Giant Vibrating Dildo” sticker. They won’t sell your name to anyone else.
Omni,
I already have a “Bzzzz, friend” - that’s the subject of this post. You are correct in that I am looking for an “Ummmm, friend” or better yet a “mmmmmmm… ooooo… OMG Yes… friend”.
Crunchy Frog,
Do you think this thread will get me into the elite clique?
And a follow up question - I remember reading somewhere about some rather expensive (a couple of grand) masturbation device for women that you would… ride… for lack of a better term. Anybody know what I’m talking about?
Even my mom’s told me about “Fuckerware” parties. I thought that was an 80’s fad. I suppose some things are too good to go away.
[hijack]
Anyway, can any of the ladies shed some light on just about how common sex toys are among women? I know the SDMB is hardly a random sampling…
In other words, should I be rifling through my girlfriend’s underwear drawer?
[/hijack]
MR
I’ll say!
I personally keep my supplies in my night stand drawer for easy access.
I get the Adam & Eve catalog. At a glance, you can’t tell what it is, but there is a warning on the front bottom part explaining that the contents are sexual in nature. It’s pretty small print though.
Now that I have a roommate I can no longer leave stuff out. One of my toys had a giant suction cup on one end that I could stick to the side of the shower. Or any solid, smooth surface, such as Omni’s shiny white ass.
Can’t be doing that anymore, so everything is in a box that’s out in plain sight.
Per Maeglin’s question - I don’t know how common sex toy use is among women, or what makes a woman wake up one day and say “I gotta have me one of those things.”
That was just bugging me.
About the “Fuckerware” parties. I know quite a few women who attend them. I’ve looked at a few of the products. Very nice, I must say. Hmm…maybe I’ll attend one someday.
Wait a minute, I know exactly what makes women wake up and say I gotta have me one of those things.
Maeglin, maybe you should give your girlfriend some toys. She could train you to be the copilot.