Quick Background: Asked a girl I worked with (I’m quitting next week) out to a movie. She said yes, I got her cell #. Done deal. Oh, and this is my first time (I’m 19, btw), so I really don’t want to screw it up.
Anyways, that was on Sunday. So I’ll be calling her in an hour or so to confirm the date, but I think I’ll ask her to a game of pool instead, because A) There’s no good movies out and B) pool’s more sociable. However, I also want to take her out to dinner. Is that implied by the whole “going out” thing, or should I explicitly mention it? If so, how do I mention it? I don’t want to come across like a sap.
Thanks for helping this pathetic loser out
Follow up question: In the event that she says she’s not good at pool, or doesn’t know how to play, what do I do then?
The pool question is on you, but personally I’d go for it. Maybe once you’ve picked her up (or met her somewhere, however you’re doing it) ask if she’d like to get a bite to eat?
IMO, it’s not a good idea to do the bait and switch on a first date. If you asked her to a movie and she said yes, I’d stick with that. Just because you don’t think there’s anything good out doesn’t mean she feels the same way. Why not ask her what she’d like to see before assuming something for the both of you?
If she doesn’t seem all that interested in a movie and you’d like to go for something more social, then offer to take her to dinner with “maybe we can play some pool after.” I’d definitely make the dinner primary and the pool secondary.
I don’t know if I would do this. I’ve been on some dates when the guy asked to meet at six, and I assumed dinner, but then he didn’t want to, because he ate already. I’ve also been on dates where I ate already, but when we met, the dude wanted to go to eat.
So you might have a full girl on your hands when you pick her up. Depends on timing, YMMV, etc. etc.
I hadn’t even thought of it like that. I just thought that playing pool would actually be more comfortable. I guess I could ask “I don’t know if there’s any good movies out, anything you’d like to see?”, but that sounds kind of wussy to me. Hell if I know.
Call her and start talking about the details. If she’s not real enthusiastic about any of the movies out, offer up pool as an alternative. Don’t assume that she’s planning on grabbing a bite to eat–be sure to ask. In general, asking is better than assuming.
Playing pool may very well be more comfortable – too bad you didn’t think of that before you asked her to a movie!
Again, IMO, you sound like a wuss if you ask her to a movie and then call her up saying, “I don’t know if there are any good movies out…” As a former dateable girl, that kind of thing would drive me batshit. You proposed a plan (whether or not it was the best plan is not the point), now stick with it. Ask her what she’d like to see, period. If it turns out that she really appears to be lukewarm to the movie idea, then go with dinner and pool.
Yeah, no kidding. I’m amazed I asked at all; that alone required all of my available mental resources. It didn’t leave much room for, you know, thinking
“Hey [name], are you still free this weekend, say Saturday night”?
…
“Anyways, so what movie would you like to see?” (If she says “I don’t know”, then what do I do? How would I go to the pool idea?)
…
“Ok, great, and do you want to go out for something to eat afterwards?”
I’m sure I could figure this out during the stupid call, but one can never be too prepared
I wouldn’t bother to discuss the movie unless she wants to. Play it by ear and go to a theater, look at the marquee and decide together there. That’s what I’d do. Also, if the movie gets out early enough, there’s always time to shoot pool afterward.
Well, what if the movie that’s decided upon doesn’t start for an hour, or is sold out? I don’t think waiting around would be fun, and I don’t want to get stuck watching Fat Albert
I think I’d decide on the movie ahead of time because of timing, etc. “Coach Carter” and “In Good Company” are out and both are supposed to be OK – maybe ask her if either one interests her? Honestly, if she seems indecisive, then I think I would just pick one and go with it. (It’s so awkward if both of you are trying to figure out what the other one wants to do…just have mercy on the situation and make the call). Save pool for The Second Date. Then say, how about getting a bite to eat after? She’ll say, that sounds great, etc. etc.
I think it would be good to know which movie to see ahead of time. Then again, I tend to like plans. Do you think she’s more the free-spirited type or a Type-A planner person?
If I had to guess, I’d say the latter. I think I’ll just call up, mention Coach Carter (it’s the only movie I’m remotely interested in), see if she agrees, then go from there. if she wants to see a different movie, that’s fine by me.
Unasked for advice but the line I really like is ask her to grab a bite beforehand, then in the middle of the meal if you are having a great time say something like “you know if you don’t mind, I would prefer to go out to pool, or maybe a dessert, so that we can continue our conversation”
Be honest, but be prepared. Also don’t worry bout it so much.
In my experience you may want to get there during a hole in the movie schedule on purpose. Go to a theater near an interesting area, walk around and talk or find dinner while you wait for the movie. It’s hard to get to know someone at a movie so you have some safety if you botch the talking while waiting. Also, areas around theaters tend to have interesting stuff that you can talk about without getting too personal.
As far as pool goes I wouldn’t consider doing anything vaguely competitive on a first date and she may hate pool(God forbid).
I’d Stick to the original plan but I’d try to use the time before to walk around a safe area and talk IMHO.
