Can a heterosexual get a toaster?

I want an official ruling on this. You see, when I was a teenager I had a menage a trois with a girl and her boyfriend. I was her first girl (as she was for me.) A little latter I found out she left her boyfriend and officially came out. No doubt because of the inspiration of my spectacular tits.

And I could really use a toaster. So where do I bring my coupon?

Isn’t there some sort of rule where a cite is requested after a statement like that? :wink:

I thought this only worked for toaster-ovens.

I volunteer to be the one to evaluate the truthfulness of that statement. Someone has got to do it.

Well, I’d say this would just have to count against. Now, if she had been gay before and her experience with you turned her stragith, that would count as something… not as much as if he had been gay and turned straight, mind you, but still.

Furnulum pani nolo.

Yes, a cite is required, not just requested.

Is a “toaster” some sort of euphimism I’m unfamiliar with?

Yeah, what do toasters have to do with sex? The mental images I’m getting are not funny.

I thought this had something to do with Battlestar Galactica.

My mental image of your mental images are, though!

It’s a well-known fact* that gays who make a convert for their team get a lovely, non-Tricia-Helfer toaster as their parting gift.

Something to do with English Muffins, I’m sure.

betenoir, I believe that you have to show proof of identity to redeem your toaster. Do you have some sensible shoes, or something?

  • note: not factual, at all.

I’m hetero and I have a toaster.

It’s a Proctor & Gamble 4 slice Toast-it-All. Toasts a lovely bagel.

But I’m guessing that’s not what this is about.

For those who miss the reference:

It’s from “The Puppy Episode” of Ellen.

Carry on.

Dear straight (or possibly bi) girl,

Sadly no, this event does not qualify you for a toaster. Had the boyfriend turned straight for you, this would have qualified. However, seeing as your efforts in converting a previously hetero girl gay by virtue of your magnificant ta-ta’s were successful, we are pleased to give you this coupon for 10% of the Doc Martens of your choice. Thank you for your contribution.

Sincerely and fashionably yours,
The Gays.



Damn. I really need a toater. I have these bagels that are just sitting here. But I can’t argue with the The Gays. Doc Martens wouldn’t be bad though. If I put my mind (well maybe not just my mind) to it and convert 9 more can I get the boots for free?

Lightray, even on the couple of days a year I come close to being a lesbian I’m a lipstick lesbian. Aformentioned Doc Martens are as sensible as I get. (And yeah I think lipstick and Doc Martens go perfectly well together.)

And I’m sorry. But I can’t post pictures of my spectaculer tits.Not only are they not work safe their sheer beauty would cause widespread blindness and madness. I can’t be held responsible for that.

But private veiwing can be arranged :slight_smile: .

Damnit, that should say had the boyfriend turned gay because of you…drat early morning posting…

What do you get as a (mostly) straight chick for “turning” not one, not two, but FOUR boyfriends gay? What if you were engaged to two of them? I think I deserve at least a faaaaaabulous weekend getaway for that trick!
(How about one of those cute little toaster convection ovens?)

I think you should get the toaster. But I think you’ll have a hard time redeeming the coupon since they are only redeemable at the meetings where they determine the “Gay Agenda” ™ Since those meetings are, of course, heavily guarded secrets (I suspect because they don’t want it discovered that their business meetings actually have more to do with dance music than converting schoolkids) - it will be hard for a straight girl to just show up for the toaster. Perhaps if you give the coupon to a gay friend, he or she could pick up the toaster at the meeting for you.

Where’s home, and I’ll plot out a 3000 mile circle radius to find if I’m anywhere near it. :wink: