As a general rule, you can’t fix a broken anybody. Most people will figure this out the first time they try.
Also, don’t try to fix people. They’re not yours to fix.
I wasn’t trying to exclude the middle, I was responding to someone who said that they knew virtually nothing about their co-workers. He later mentioned that he’s a contractor so that makes more sense to me that he wouldn’t exchange more than polite remarks with the folks he works with for a short time.
I agree that it’s not common to share intimate details with people I work with in a professional office, but I know some (not all) blue collar workers who do exactly that if that’s their workplace culture.
I, a man, had “a loooonnnnng list of sex partners” . . . decades ago, before I met my husband . . . who also had “a loooonnnnng list of sex partners.”
Nobody considers either of us “broken.” Wouldn’t be any different if we were women.
I didn’t ask if anybody was planning on living up to my standards. I believe that you are confused as to what the OP actually is/was. Please re-read it, and comment accordingly.
Wow…racist, much?
Apparently, all the threads that you comment on are ‘unread’. Rude?
Yes, yes, we’re all impressed by your looongg list of sex partners, and we certainly give a shit; unfortunately, your sexual preferences and histories are irrelevant to the OP. If you were women, you would still be rude in trying to wrest the topic to become something that it is not.
If you want to crow about your life/spouse/sexuality please start another thread.
Congratulations! You win the First Ill-Bred Illiterate Post of the Week award! You certainly set a high bar for commenting on OPs that you don’t read!
Be honest-did you even read the OP?? No, seriously…be honest! If you can’t find a date, don’t call me a misogynist. You will find happiness only in making yourself and others happy, not in being boorish in polite society.
That was a reference to the movie black snake moan.
This is a reference to the movie “Black Snake Moan”.
EDIT: Ninja’d!
Actually, they are complaining/commiserating about their griefs; that’s how people find out about them, which indicates that they are not overjoyed at their lots in life.
I never called them bad.
Wow! So quick out of the gate, and yet, so…wrong!
Actually, even though you probably won’t read this anymore thoroughly than you read the OP, the guys who discuss this with me are quite high on the Sexual Market scale, quite handsome and quite accomplished, with pretty hot wives. Quite higher than the women discussed. Also, I’d guess that their sexual histories are almost as prolific as panache45s.
Hmmmm…guess you will have to find some other straw man to beat up!
I just went back and re-read the OP (I like nice things, what can I say?) and I’m totally awestruck that you apparently not only didn’t read it, but, that even if you had read it, you would still be wrapped in your cocoon of Self-Righteous Intolerance and Preachy Behavior.
You really have no idea about reading for comprehension, do you? Or, of civilized discourse?
That is kind of the problem though. A man with a high sexual marketplace value, healthy self esteem and options isn’t going to want to deal with an unstable, destructive woman.
In my experience these women probably have problems going back to childhood. The only real solution is years of inner work and therapy, and even that will only help, not fix it.
I think you are making it way too complicated. This pretty much run of the mill underclass behavior and it has it fairly predictable consequences. There is a huge tendency in men to see women, regardless of their life choices, as being in need of some kind of rescue. They’re not, They are not helpless infants, they just like fucking around and taking drugs and drinking alcohol just like a lot of men. But no one talks about emotionally “rescuing” a man from making poor life choices or how he could be saved with a little TLC. You need to respect their desire to be rough living ladies.
Yup.
To the degree the OP’s coworkers are unhappy with their lot they’ll either just keep on kvetching or they’ll shape up. On their own. As somebody said up-thread, a patient partner can assist them in making that improvement, and a destructive partner can sabotage it. No partner can cause it absent the person’s deep-seated and truly held desire to change.
Volunteering to be that patient partner for somebody who wants to change is signing up for a lot of work that may not succeed. And what comes out at the end may not be so much a newly revealed silk purse; more likely is a lightly polished sow’s ear.
Odds are there are roughly as many dysfunctional men as women. The difference is IME the women are more likely to share what they do and how they feel about it than the men are. So to a naïve observer it sounds like many women are total train wrecks and all the men are pretty functional.
There is also the divide in some work settings where (almost) all the high status jobs are occupied by men and (almost) all the low-status jobs are occupied by women. If someone, perhaps the OP, is in such a work setting it’d be easy to mistake what’s really predominantly a difference based on social class for a difference based on gender.
I didn’t think that I *needed *to do anything. That being said, I most definitely do nothing to change their lives, any more than I would yours. I never proposed that I do same. Or you.
People’s foibles amuse me, and I reserve the right to solicit opinions on the Internet.
But, they will bitch about “nobody talking about ‘rescuing’ men” on a thread with a topic on same. Witness: This thread.
I think some angry man needs a rescue and a hug (( :mad: ))
Awwww! And, you were thinking about me. Bless your heart!