I know this wasn’t addressed to me, but…I value intelligence above good looks, so although it may be true that an intelligent person has a “unfair advantage”, I don’t hold it against them.
As for “trust”, I’m thinking here of romantic relationships. I would trust an attractive person in other situations just as much as I’d trust one of the normals. 
and
I must be living on another planet.
Gorgeous people simply need to exist to be at the top of society? Am I understanding you correctly?
Attractive people bring a positive aesthetic contribution to the table. I like to enjoy beautiful things and I like to enjoy beautiful people.
I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects.
Don’t you?
Um…no. NO! You choose your friends for their good looks? What does that even mean? No, I choose my friends carefully and cautiously, after long association - I am very quick to make acquaintances and it takes me forever to truly consider someone a friend. Sometimes years. I don’t surround myself with multitudes of friends, two or three really good ones that stand through the years is what I prefer. I am no social butterfly.
Anyway, I’m not sure what you’re trying to accomplish here. Change my mind? I’ve stated my opinion, and repeatedly tried to explain myself and we are monopolizing the thread. I’ve been scolded before for stating my opinions in IMHO which after all is “In my Humble *Opinion.” I’m done discussing it. You want a debate, you can start one in GD, but I won’t be joining you there, I’m afraid.
Wow, a lot of ways to look at this.
A lot depends on the person. I don’t think a model-hot woman is constantly looking for someone better, but I definitely think she knows that if things aren’t going so well, the relationship- ship hasn’t sailed for good and she’s never going to get another shot at finding someone. You could call that vain or confident.
A “model-hot female” isn’t oblivious to her looks and insecurities come from a lot of things. She could have been told she was ugly by her parents when she was growing up. Lots of model-hot women were ugly ducklings as kids, or she could have had an even hotter sister.
Nah. Women like attention, even if it’s mild flirtation and I secretly dread that day that it stops.
A purely hypothetical argument could be made that unattractive women are less trustworthy by your definition. They ‘could’ be a little more cynical and less honest because they have a harder time meeting someone or getting involved in relationships.*
In short, I don’t think looks matter all that much in determining the type person you are.
*-- Before anyone goes crazy, I don’t believe for a second it’s true that unattractive women are untrustworthy. Just throwing it out there.
Guess you haven’t read The Picture of Dorian Grey.
I wouldn’t dream of trying to change your mind. Your mind is your property, and no one has to live with the consequences of your beliefs except you.
I am just of the opinion that there is some, uh, tension in the way your beliefs cohere. If they’ve saved you the emotional heartache of dating exceptionally good looking men, then great, I’m glad they’ve worked for you as designed.
I don’t see how you can object to extremely attractive people thinking you are a schlub because you’re average-looking, or even evil because you’re damn ugly, if you’re going to assume they’re untrustworthy because they’re pretty. You have to judge them on their merits. One of my friends in college had a mother who was simply gorgeous, and a father who would have had to move up a few rungs to make average-looking. They clearly loved the heck out of each other. Why, I dunno, but it was pretty positive proof that looks are not the only standard by which people find each other attractive.
Having had many, many experiences with extremely hot women, I’ve found that they are not, in fact, trustworthy.
Having had many, many experiences with people who are incompetent judges of character, I’ve found that they often, in fact, get screwed.
Or they don’t. That’s always the risk of fostering a bad attitude.
I don’t know, pretty people scare the hell out of me. Regardless of the context they seem to form a pretty clique and start shunning those that don’t make the grade. This notably happens in the workplace and screws up the careers of those who didn’t get born with the right genes. In fact this seems to be the case from grade school on.
Needless to say I didn’t get the pretty genes. Those that did tend to deny this phenomenon because (1) it has never happened to them and (2) they don’t self-identify as elitist when it come to appearance.
How sad! This conversation is getting worse and worse!
An intelligent person does not necessarily “bring more to the table” than a person who is attractive. No more so than someone who is very strong. Or someone who is a very fast runner. Or someone who has a lot of money. These things are all relatively worthless without something else behind them. Say, personality. Kindness. Charm. Compassion. Do not blindly assume that an intelligent person “brings more to the table”; there’s a hell of a lot more to it than that.
Being prejudiced against a beautiful person is foolish, as is most prejudice. If you have had bad experiences with multiple beautiful people, it tells me more about you than it does about beautiful people. What’s the more consistent common denominator? You are. If you’re consistently getting screwed around by beautiful people, you ought to take a closer look at what the problem is. Perhaps, as DianaG suggested, you’re a terrible judge of character, and you’re tending to communicate mostly with beautiful people who are also giving clear signs of being jerks. Hell, I know people who are constantly attracted to jerks. It has nothing to do with how beautiful they are; it has to do with the fact that you’re attracted to jerks.
Yes, beautiful people have some things easier than do unattractive people. Funny, that. Also, strong people have some things easier. White people have some things easier. Men have some things easier. Does that mean it’s fair to think these people are “untrustworthy”? Of course not. It’s very well known that you shouldn’t judge on appearances. If you’ve ever been judged unfairly, you know why.
I don’t see why this is even up for debate. Clearly it’s a silly idea to even imagine that good-looking people are less trustworthy. That’s ridiculous.
Why do I think this thread would have gone differently if the OP had suggested that really ugly people were untrustworthy?
Anyhow - just as a further data point - and I’m not going to argue with people about their opinions - frankly someone who would write another person off because they happen to be pretty doesn’t strike me as attractive OR smart…however…
I’ve dated a variety of men (I’m such a big ho!) ranging from perfectly average* to really, really hot. As a matter of interest two of them were unfaithful in a fashion - neither of those two were in the top ten of hottest guys I’ve dated, for sure.
But research suggests that “personality. Kindness. Charm. Compassion.” and intellegence are beside the point for most people. In fact the pretty people in charge tend to select other pretty people for their “team”. The same behavior we all observed on the playground in elementary school is going on in corporate boardrooms. This is no opinion, there are empirical studies showing this. I know this thread is about romantic relationships but research suggests that, on average, pretty people tend to select disproportionally on the basis of prettiness. I see no logical reason that this would not extend to the personal level. Therefore I would assume that a pretty person dating a plain person would be looking to upgrade.
As with all statistics there will be outliers for whom this is not true.
That’s so ridiculous. The only advantage “gorgeous” people have is that more people want to have sex with them. As an attractive woman it is hard to be taken seriously when all anyone wants to do is look at your boobs. If our looks are our only salable commodity then we have more to prove than the average person when it comes to jobs that do not involve our looks.
I know a lot of good looking people and none of them have had things handed to them on a platter. As for them not having anything to bring to the table, is it completely foreign to you that a good looking person can also have a good personality, intelligence, or any redeeming quality? Judging someone because they look good is just as bad as someone else making value judgments about a fat person. This would be in the pit if that were the topic.
I have to wonder if the “super-hot” people you’ve met aren’t displaying compassion and kindness because they feel the hostility that you’re projecting to them.
When I meet someone and they act hostile, or act like they’re judging me or have a chip on their shoulder, I’m not super quick to be compassionate or kind to that person - why bother, if they’re just going to piss on you anyway?
What an interesting thing to say. Why would you not then assume the same thing about an ugly person? OBVIOUSLY looks come into consideration in a dating situation. No one is denying that. But to say that a good-looking person would be more likely to cheat and/or dump the person they’re with for someone else is, to be honest, unjustified and obviously blatantly unfair.
Here’s an interesting thing I’ll bet many of you haven’t considered. Often, people assume that very good-looking women are also stupid. Particularly if the woman has large breasts and/or blonde hair. Is that fair? Absolutely not. Does it make her life easier? Absolutely not, if she’s being judged for something requiring intelligence and she’s found wanting based on her looks.
I’m sorry, this entire discussion is completely absurd. Do none of you see how incredibly shallow and horrible this is? It’s ridiculous. And as far as I’ve seen so far, a popular retort is, “Well, pretty people get lots of breaks, so why shouldn’t I come down on them?” Which is (sorry) the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.
I’m amazed by the prejudice displayed in this thread. Intelligence and beauty do not guarantee anyone success. I’ve known many female models who worked hard for their money and their place in life. And for those who say that super-hot females face no hardships, are you often thought to have only obtained your job by sleeping with your boss? Do other females cause you misery because they are jealous of you because of your looks? Do you have to deal with constantly being harassed by certain groups of men? I am very glad that I don’t look like a 9 or a 10 without makeup. I’ve seen what some of my super attractive female friends have gone through. Yes, they do have a lot of advantages but they also have a lot of disadvantages. I’ve never had to deal with stalkers. One of my model friends has had at least 5 that I’ve known about. And I’ve only known her for 5 years. At one point, she was ready to disfigure herself rather than having to deal with the constant harassment she was facing at that time.
Intelligence and beauty are also both very subjective. Someone you regard as very beautiful might not have been treated as such throughout most of their life. I was teased horribly as a kid and it’s only when I get dolled up now that I am considered a 9 or 10. I don’t get dolled up often due to the fact that I prefer not to be a 9 most of the time, I’d rather not get the attention. I have used my looks on occasion to get things but they have always been insignificant. Yes, I will be able to get into the Super VIP section of the hottest club in town but so what? How does that give me academic success? If I used my looks to try to get me jobs I’d just end up working with a guy who treated me like an object rather than as an intelligent human being who has a lot to offer. My looks aren’t going to get me into Harvard, they aren’t going to get me a PhD, and they are going to fade in the next decade.
I have a genius IQ and I’m rated 9+ on Hot or Not and other beauty judging websites. Right now, I am far behind most other peers my age. I’ll be 25 next month and I’m at a community college finishing up my Sophomore year. Most of the people I knew from high school have graduated college by now and are making bank. Yes, I am able to live off of others if I wish, but I’ve also seen very unattractive people manipulate others to the point of living off of them. I am very independent and I hate feeling like a sponge. I even refused financial aid for most of my schooling so far because I refuse to live off of other people’s money.
I don’t cheat. I don’t even date. I’ve known many ugly girls with no self-esteem who threw themselves at any man who expressed the slightest bit of interest. Since I’ve known more non-attractive people who’ve cheated than attractive people, it would be quite easy to think that they are more untrustworthy. But I don’t judge others based on their looks. I judge them based on their personalities and actions.
Somehow I doubt this.
You can take or leave this advice as you see fit: citing, and further quantifying, your own gifts is ultimately less compelling than allowing people to figure it out on their own. Have the confidence and grace to not to do this, and most will find you even more attractive.
Well, I did admit it was an irrational feeling. I have dated ugly liars, as well as honest studs. However, I do shy away from romantic relationships with extremely good-looking people, feeling safer with someone closer to my own level of attractiveness (about a 7, BTW). I don’t think the gorgeous people of the world are shedding any tears over me.
I’m just extrapolating from other studies about how pretty people tend to select other pretty people in just about any situation. I see no reason not to assume that this extends to dating.
But she is still, statistically speaking, more likely to get promoted than I am. And probably more likely to dump me for a golden boy.
No, I think perhaps it is you who don’t see how shallow and horrible it is. We’re the ones being discriminated against. And now we are getting piled on for calling a spade a spade.