Chuck Norris can beat you at tic-tac-toe.
Beating you in tic-tac-toe isn’t the tough part. It’s how…
Chuck Norris is suddenly serious about your degree. You should be ready to graduate … just abouuuuuuut … now!
Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton didn’t forget to put their panties on. Chuck Norris glared at them and the panties fell off. All three women have been trying to drink away the memory ever since.
So Skald, anyone top RickJay’s joke in your eyes?
Black holes fall into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the third word that ends in -gry.
This is my fav.
Chuck Norris can kick Cecil’s ass, but Cecil can prove conclusively that he can’t.
Chuck Norris is a washed-up former acolyte to a genuine badass.
“Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.”
Before the boogeyman turns out the light at night, he looks under the bed for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can give his girlfriend an orgasm without taking her clothes off.
Wait, no, that’s me. 
You would gloat too. 
On the seventh day, Og rested, because the night before, Chuck Norris showed up and took over . . .
Chuck Norris does not have a beard. Each of his pores has its own little roundhouse kickin’ leg.
Arnold Schwarzenneger had to play the part of the Terminator for the films because they couldn’t get Chuck Norris’ moves to actually show up on film (and they didn’t want him to think it was real).
Tripler
The Arctic Circle is just an ice chest for Chuck Norris’ beer.
Chuck Norris performed the miracle of turning regular table salt into… bacon salt.
Chuck Norris’ “beer” is E85 ethanol.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a camel through the eye of a needle so now he’s having a hearse with a luggage rack specially made.
Chuck Norris works out every single day. He does an Iron Man Triathlon first thing in the morning to get loosed up for it.
Chuck Norris’s wife thought it was time they had children, so Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her in the vagina, and she instantly shot a baby Chuck Norris out of her womb with chest hair.
Chuck Norris working out is the cause of Global Warming.