Can you trust your girlfriend's guyfriends?

I’ve learned over the past few years not to trust any of my girlfriend’s guyfriends. Especially when your girlfriend has a lot of them. People tell me, “You should trust your girlfriend and you have nothing to worry about.” I agree, but the problem isn’t with the girl, it’s with the guys. All I know is all my buddies(guys), wouldn’t mind having sex with their buddies’ girlfriends. In general, most guys have one thing one their mind. SEX! SEX! SEX! So would you trust your own girlfriend to go clubbing, getting drunk, with a couple of her GUY friends?

“No woman is faithful, as long as there’s a man or dog in the room.”
-Aleister Crowley

Well Aleister Crowley (ugh) aside, I know that I personally have never slept with any of my guy friends.

Really what it boils down to is how well you trust your girlfriend. There are those of us out there that are actually faithful.

Ginger

When I had a girlfriend I trusted her male and female friends (she’s bi). Completely, in fact. I knew her, and I knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t associate with people who aren’t healthy and respectful of her.

All this, and she was about two days’ drive from me or so. She could have had an affair and never told me about it (but she didn’t:)).

I miss being with her.

I’ve always trusted my girlfriend around her male friends.

If this is the case, then shouldn’t guys be watching their own guy friends rather than their girlfriend’s guy friends?

No.

I found this out several times.

The last time this was an issue between me and my boyfriend, I ended up sleeping with my guy friend. It was weird though, because we’d been friends for years before, and nothing had ever happened with us. My boy got jealous, and within a week, I was hooking up with my friend. We broke up, and haven’t talked since. I don’t know if this means anything or not, because I’m twisted like that, but that’s just my personal experience.

Sorry, I strongly disagree. If the girl decides to act on her curiousity with her guy friends, then there wasn’t much of a relationship between the two of you to begin with. That, or the relationship you thought you once had is gone and should be forgotten. Go out a find a woman you can trust.

I mean, come on, you’re making it sound like the woman here has no say in this at all, like she can’t make a rational decision to save her life.

Get real. Regardless of whether you’re a man or woman, or who is doing the pursuing or not, it still takes two people to do the dead. The “blame”, as you call it, should be spread equally, between all involved and regardless of the sex or circumstances.

Unless, of course, you don’t believe in free will.

Umm, Ooops.

That should read deed, not dead. I wasn’t trying to cast aspersions on your girlfriend.

…Not if I’m the guy.

I suppose so, although clubbing and getting drunk isn’t generally her style. But if she said she was going to do so, I would trust her to follow through on it.

OK, seriously, I think you are really asking whether or not I’d worry that she is having sex with her guy friends. Look, wouldn’t you be a lot happier if you stopped worrying about that altogether? Why should you care one way or the other? I mean, if she wants to, you’d rather she didn’t anyway? And you think this is an expression of what, exactly?

I mean, if you’re the one she wants to come home to, it must be for a reason. If you like her, maybe you should think again about the proprietary “If you have sex with me you can’t have sex with other guys any more” attitude.

Well, yeah…If you’re Aleister Crowley.

You cannot possibly imagine how much it enrages me to find that a girl, over a tiff with her boyfriend, has gone out and laid some guy friend of hers!! Just for spite. I don’t do that (with a female friend, of course) but it’s been done to me a couple of times and the instant I found out, the relationship was over. No excuses, no ‘but you gotta unnerstand, … I was hurt!’, or, best of all ‘but, it didn’t mean anything!!’

My reply was usually a bit loud and vulgar and very, very negative. I took back two engagement rings over such incidents.

“and laid some guy friend of hers!!”

Yeah, sometimes its the brother of the boyfriend instead. Whoa boy, thats a humdinger.

I think perhaps you missed the point on this. It isn’t necessarily out of spite that women sleep with a guy friend because you are jealous (though this could be the case) sometimes it is more because you pushed her away to begin with. I’d even say that this tends to enter into the equation quite a bit.

Look, if this is what happened, either she wasn’t worth your love (or whatever), you weren’t worth hers, or (most likely) a little of both. As unsatisfactory as this may seem with all the sex-crazed guys and faithless girls out there, you’ve got to trust your significant other to be faithful. This is not to say you should be naive, but if you don’t trust her (or him) it is not good.

[This is a little preachy, especially coming from one who has little experience with this particular situation, but I’m pretty sure this is a good idea.]

Whoops, should have previewed before posting. I didn’t mean to bold all that. Looks good though.

I never trust the guyfriends.

I trust the girlfirend.

There’s a reason that my guy friends are my guy friends. That reason is simply that I have no desire to even see them w/o shirts on, much less sleep with them. The thought kinda makes me sick, actually.

I hate to be the newbie cynic but people in general can’t be trusted. Individuals can earn one’s trust, but if you don’t know these other friends, then they’re capable of anything. I speak from unfortunate experience.