I trust my girlfriend, but not with alcohol around. 
Plus, I wouldn’t trust her with my ex-girlfriend at the party because she’d try to start something such as getting guys to put the moves on her…she is such a bitch.
I know guys that say 'It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s that I don’t trust them.
This makes no sense whatsoever. THe only way it makes sense is if you think that your girlfriend’s guyfriends are likely to hold her down and rape her, and if you think they are the type to do that, ok, your concern is justified, but be explicit and say ‘I am worried about them raping you.’
If it isn’t rape, then her faithfulness is totally up to her. The idea that it isn’t harks back to Victorian days when it was assumed that women were so easily overcome by thier passions that they could be seducced by any man and that they had no real choice in the matter. Pretty sexist, to say the least.
Oh, great. I have hoardes of female friends I will hate forever now, for thinking bad things about me. 
— G. Raven
Oh, and Pepper, that “I just don’t wanna spoil our friendship” line makes ME sick, so I hope you show your friends enough respect to at least not give 'em that one
— G. Raven
I think he was trying to make a more general point. And I agree with him in this case.
To get to the OP, I still vividly remember an incident from about 10 years ago, the evening I planned to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years, on Christmas Day. I would have done it on Christmas Eve, but she said she had to go to her office party. I spent the considerable effort to get her to her skip the party, but she wouldn’t budge.
When she came over to my house, she was sullen and acting weird, and she blamed it on a hangover. Then as we were just sitting down to eat a special gourmet meal I had worked all day to prepare for this special occasion, she confessed that she had gotten drunk and went home with someone and slept with them. I removed her plate from the table, handed her her coat and told her to leave and never ever speak to me again. She tried to “explain” that she wasn’t responsible because she got too drunk. I told her nobody held a gun to her head and made her drink. She had a fit, I cut it short by carrying her, kicking and screaming and crying, out the front door and locking it. And I never spoke to her again.
What was I thinking when I thought this woman was marriage material? To this day, I still absolutely do not celebrate Christmas at all.
I have a lot of guy friends. In fact, the only friends that live near me are guy friends. My guy friends and I are pretty close. We’ve known each other for years (certainly much longer than I’ve known my SO) and we spend a lot of time together. Heck, two nights ago I spent the night at their house watching movies and eating junk food.
If I ever went out with someone that was constantly suspicious of my guy friends, he would be out on his ass in a second.
My friends are my friends, and I, as a full-grown emotionally mature adult, am capable of handleing friendship- even gasp with people of the opposite sex. To imply otherwise is very insulting to me.
Raver, I suggest a good dose of maturity before you mess around with girls anymore. You are not your SOs gaurdian nor her owner. If you do not trust her enough to let her have her own life, you are too immature to be in a serious relationship. People need their own lives, sometimes seperate from their SOs, to grow as people. To disapprove or forbid that is wrong.
I’m glad I don’t have to worry about this shit!
If I couldn’t trust my wife around her guyfriends, she wouldn’t be my wife. If she was going to cheat on me, she wouldn’t have to rely on her buddies and exes coming over to visit, she could just go pick up some random stranger and I’d have less chance of finding out about it.
There is no set rule as to whether or not you can trust a girl who has male friends. Either she wants to be with you, or she doesn’t.
In reference to Raver’s statement that all guys have on their mind is sexsexsex, then the question is not whether you can trust your girlfriend who has guy friends, but whether you can trust your boyfriend who has female friends.
That is a stupid question anyway. Each female’s (and male’s) desires are unique to what they each hope to gain.
Don’t worry about what your female friends think of you. Some of my guy friends I’m interested in sexually and some I’m not. The ones that I am interested in sexually I might hook up with, but only when I’m single and so are they. Girls just need to learn that guy friends aren’t useful for revenge without hurting their feelings. I’m pretty sure that at least some of your female friends think you’re good sex object material, or else they might not have started being friends with you.
I live 1,162 miles away from my g/f and she hangs out with her ex-ex boyfriend that she dated for 3 years and I yet I still trust her. However, I don’t trust her guyfriends at all because, well, I’m a guy and I know what our kind is like. I do get a bit jealous sometimes, but not enough to affect the relationship. The key to keeping the guy friends at bay is to inform them that if they engage in any sort of sexual contact, you will not delay in buying a plane ticket to texas and removing his penis with the dull, rusty butter knife that you carry with you at all times. Also make them aware that you are well versed in all forms of fire and water torture and that nobody, I mean NOBODY will ever find your twisted little pansy ass body! Ya hear me David?! NOBODY!!
But always trust your girlfriend. If she messes up, dump her ass, people who truely love each other will not cheat on each other and will not put them in a situation for that to be possible i.e. getting drunk etc.
I’m Cyk’s girlfriend. I do hang out with my ex-ex boyfriend that I dated for three years. He happens to be one of my best friends. I know Cyk can trust me, but I know there are a lot of girls out there that live by the saying “out of sight, out of mind.” BUT unless your girl is a total hussy, she should be faithful to you. If she wanted to dating one of her guy friends, then she wouldn’t be dating you. When I go out with my ex-ex (David) to a club or a party people usually think that he’s my boyfriend, so I rarely get approached by a guy trying to pick up on me. That’s a plus. And yes, David has heard the rusty butter knife threat.
Cyk is all I’ll ever need.
Tokiwoki - And you are in to guys who pretend to be crazy because why?
If I were David, I would be playing up how much of a psycho cyk must be. Everytime he did something or said something crazy, I’d be like “wow…you know, that boyfriend of yours really scares me. I hope everything is ok between you.” You know, acting all concerned while subtly driving a wedge between you. And then, before you know it, we’re sleeping together. You see, making crazy statements from 1000 miles away only proves to David that you view him as a threat.
Why do girls have guy friends anyway? Most guys I know don’t like doing stuff that girls like (shopping, gossiping etc) unless they are trying to sleep with them. Most guy friends of girls I know usually are ex-boyfriends, gay or maybe guys who throw a lot of the parties we go to.
In any case, if there is a reason your girlfriend is hanging out with a lot of other men, it usually means there is something missing in the relationship.
The only person I trust entirely is my husband. I suppose my free-floating suspicious nature makes it impossible for me to answer this question in the manner in which the OP intended.
That said…
If you don’t trust your girlfriend, why in the unholy name of Fahrquahar are you with her? The hell…??
What the heck are you talking about? Do you live in a bubble? Do you only hang out with jerks and hussys?
I have known my guy friends far longer than my SO. I have guy friends because they are my friends, not because the happen to have a dick. I have my guy friends because they have been there for me in times of need. I have good times with them. Contrary to popular belief, not all women hang around shopping a gossiping all day. In fact, I find shopping and gossiping very boring. My guy friends and I do all kinds of stuff that we all enjoy: playing frisbee, watching movies, D&D, hiking, cooking, playing board games, going out to restraunts, going on road trips, going to concerts, creating art and having a general good time. Yes, we are geeks. But we enjoy each other's company.
Believe me, there is no sexual tension between any of us. Most of my guy friends have known me for so long they are like brothers. Many are in fulfilling relationships of their own (and no, they are not all gay). It is possible for adults to have relationships with other adults that are not all about sex. If you can’t manage that, then maybe you oughta think twice before refering to yourself as an adult.
I am in a very healthy and loving relationship right now. My SO understands that I need to have my own life at times, too. Romantic myths aside, no one person can be all things to another person. By letting each other live and grow, we strengthen our relationship.
Controlling relationships, my friend, are a bad thing. A very bad thing. Jelousy is not a sign of love, it is a sign of control. If any of you out there are in a controlling relationship, guy or girl, I urge you to get out. It is not because he loves you and it will not get better. I may sound extreme, but I have seen beautiful people made into small dull servile and unhappy people by staying with a controlling SO.
“So would you trust your own girlfriend to go clubbing, getting drunk, with a couple of her GUY friends?”
Yes.
Would this scenario happen? Not likely. It would be like me going out with a bunch of women and not inviting Lola.
We travel together most of the time since it’s not a whole lot of fun to be out without your best friend in the whole world.
::rolleyes:: And yo are into guys with no sense of humor huh? Please.
Ok, I didn’t really think anybody would take that seriously. There’s something to be said for a good sense of humor. I really don’t think David is interested in sleeping with me. He’s not shallow. Believe it or not, he actually values our friendship.
I’m not into guys.
Remember that people on this message board don’t know anything about you other than what you post. I’m sure your kidding, but there are plenty of other people who post crazy stuff and actually mean it (or at least want people to think they mean it). Anyhow, different people find different things funny.
Probably. If you consider yourself a “geek” (your term) my friends and I would probably seem like arrogant, loud, materialistic, preppy, goofballs who drink too much and hang out with permiscous women.
In any case, I have girl friends. None of them (except my actual girlfriend) are as close as my guy friends. 90% of the time, hanging out with a bunch of girls ends up being more trouble than its worth.
Example:
A bunch of us (about 12, evenly split girls/guys) had a summer shore house a few years back. If we went to different clubs, my buddy always wanted to hang out with the girls instead of the other guys (and would sometimes coerce me into going with him). It was always horrible. We would always have to babysit them, fight off cheeseballs who tried to pick them up, figure out which guys we should let hit on them and which ones to scare off, and eventually carry them back home earlier than we cared to go in. The girls have a great time, but my night ends up sucking.
Saying this is fine: what I object to is your extending this situation about how all guys feel about hanging out with all girls. People come in so many different types and flavors that genralizations based on gender always fall apart when you try and apply them to individual circumstances. For example (and I know you didn’t go this far) I, myself, have a real hang up about this: I see red when someone tries to tell me what my husband or my guy friends “really” think about something as if sharing plumbing with someone gives you more insight into thier personality than actually knowing the person.