Carnac the Magnificent game

If you’ve seen Johnny Carson, you know how to play. Carnac holds a sealed envelope to his forehead, and listens to the spirit world for a response. He states the response, and then opens the envelope to reveal the question. Here’s an example…

Carnac: They’ve all moved to India.

Envelope: What happened to Bush’s 2 million new jobs?

Say what the envelope contains for the post above yours, and then offer a Carnac for the next poster.

Okay, ready? First envelope, please…

Carnac: I’ll take Manhattan.

Q: What did Donald Trump say when told he could retire to his own private island?

Next A: The Christian Science Monitor

Envelope: The guy who supervises the monastery laboratory.

Carnac: The Straight Dope.

Post-cokehead George Bush

The Sun Also Rises

What happens after your daughter-in-law wakes up?
Carnac: Four-score and twenty years ago

Q: What is the age of the next poster’s sex partner?
A: Mary Poppins, Dolly Parton, and Cheech Marin.

Q: Who will be performing at next year’s Superbowl halftime show?

(Mrs. Lagomorph would like a word with you racer72)
A: Heinz 52 varieties.

What was the title of the unsuccessful Ketchup Kama Sutra.

A : Albert Einstein and J. Lo.

Q: What’s the only couple weirder than Ben and J. Lo.

A: Pepsi, Coke, RC.

Envelope: What are three forms of water pollution?

Carnac: Weapons of mass destruction.

Envelope: What does the National Hockey League call Todd Bertuzzi’s fists?
Carnac: The King of Queens.

Q. Who was recently arrested for attacking someone at the airport?

Next answer.

Carnac: The higher, the fewer.

Which answer makes the least sense?

---------------------------next answer-------------------------

Carnac: 99 bottles of beer on the wall.

What does Diana Ross leave behind when she goes for a drive?

Next one:

Four monkeys and a bungee cord.

What does Mickey Rourke call a night cap?

Chitty-chitty bang bang.

Answer: What happens when you put firecrakers in the toilet?
Carnac: Seven wonders of the modern world

What runs through a gay guy’s mind when he sees sexy twins walking in front of him?

[sorry for self-replying]

How does Whitney Houston refer to her last crack-free week?

Carnac: Superbowl.

Where’s the best place to see boobage action on network television?

Envelope: You’re fired.

Envelope: What was the message in GWBs last birthday card to Richard Clarke?

Carnac: What goes up, must come down.

Envelope: Why do Pfizer’s sales of Viagra keep improving?

Carnac: The Curse of the Mummy