Who did Janet Jackson finger as the prime conspirators in Boobiegate?
Envelope: San Dimas High School Football RULES!!!
(My apologies, I watched Bill & Ted last night. 
)
Q: What strange quote was found in Socrates’ writings?
Envelope: A priest, a rabbi, and a mullah
Envelope: Just what did Bill Murray’s character whisper to Scarlett Johansson’s in Lost in Translation?
Carnac: We’re home even when you’re not.
Should’a been Carnac but…
Envelope = Is this a joke?
Envelope = Why is there never enough tin foil?
D’OH! :eek:
Carnac: Who loves ya, baby?
Envelope: What did Eisenhower really say to the assembled Allied forces before the D-Day landings?
Carnac: I can get it for you wholesale.
Envelope: Jacque Chirac’s latest communication to North Korea
Hey, I got 100 posts! [does shimmy dance]
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[stops, looks around, crawls up in corner]
Kirk vs. Picard in Cafe Society.
Yellow, brown, orange and white.
I knew I forgot something…again. Thanks for the bail-out there, Tentacle Monster.
Oops!
Sorry for screwing up the format, nocturnal_tick. I was a big Carson fan, staying up almost every night to catch the “bit” and Carnac was my favorite, so much so that I named my prized D&D character after him.
Let’s try this again.
Envelope: What colors are Chester the Cheetah’s underwear?
Carnac: Igloo. (Points for the original Carnac envelope.)
Envelope: Who is Igbud’s partner?
Carnac: Caffeine-free root beer.
Wasn’t it “What do you use to fix a broken ig?”
In response to the answer offered by Interrobang!?, the best I can come up with is “What kind of alcoholic beverage is distilled from caffeine-free roots?”
Carnac: The Fast and the Furious.
Envelope: The guy during sex, and the woman after sex.
Carnac: Stop, Drop and Roll.
What’s the name of that new drive through coffee and danish place?
(original Carnac) Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.
Envelope: How does Charlton Heston say Grace?
Carnac: Once bitten, twice shy.
Envelope: How does Governor Schwarzenegger like his interns?
Carnac: Tony Blair and a mongoose.
Envelope: Name a snake charmer and a snake harmer.
Carnac: Shareholder
********** long pause **snicker
Envelope: Where the plastic surgeon keeps the extra Cher parts.
EdHOHOHOHOHO - ooooOOOhh Yeah!
Carnac: James Brown, Whitney Houston & Courtney Love.
Envelope: Proof that not all dopers are outstanding intellects.
Carnac: They got a pepper bar.
Envelope: Why were the children crying after opening up their halloween candy?
Carnac: From the halls of Montezuma, to the shores of Tripoli