Envelope: Where are you certain to find tattoo parlors and strip clubs?
Carnac: Yes, no and maybe.
Envelope: Where are you certain to find tattoo parlors and strip clubs?
Carnac: Yes, no and maybe.
Envelop: What is Senator Kerry’s position on campaign finance reform?
Carnac: Two peas in a pod.
I was SO hoping someone would give that answer! Sorry, I don’t have a funny answer so…
Carnac: Two peas in a pod.
A hooked on phonics dropout filling out a job application to a pod factory.
Carnac: Whither thou goest…
Envelope: How does Shakespeare do dirty talk?
Carnac: 37 and a half
How does lieu sort his underwear?
Carnac: George Bush, George Foreman, and George Jetson.
–
Regards,
Shodan
Sorry, I messed that up.
What is the population of Jeffrey Dahmer’s apartment building?
Carnac: George Bush, George Foreman, and George Jetson.
Regards,
Shodan
Envelope: What does an optimist call a bottle of Heinz 57 Sauce that’s about two-thirds full?
How’d Shodan sneak in here?
TWICE ! !
Crap. I can’t think of a good answer, so I’ll have to pass.
(above was for nocturnal_tick’s 37½)
America’s premier Gated community.
Envelope: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
What do you call a Native American cleaning an elephant?
Envelope: Mama Mia
The real envelope: “What usually precedes “That’sa spicy meatball!””
Envelope: Long, hard, and wet.
…and I should know better than to say anything… it should read-
Carnac: Long, hard, and wet.
How would you describe the Titanic’s voyage?
Carnac: The O’Franken Factor
What is Ireland’s top talk show for mad scientists?
Carnac: Texas Hold 'em.
What method does the Wonderbra employ to increase clevage?
Carnac: The Library at Alexandria
Where’s the best place to download kiddy porn on a free computer?
Carnac: The Democratic candidates in the 2004 primary.
Carnac: What was the name of the failed Family Affair spinoff?
Envelope still unopened: The Democratic candidates in the 2004 primary.
Who were the director’s original choice for the movie Dumb and Dumber
Carnac: Jay Leno, Dave Letterman, and Joan Rivers
Envelope: Name three comics who aren’t on the same exalted level as Johnny Carson.
Carnac: Shrinky-dink.