Carnac the Magnificent game

Envelope: Where are you certain to find tattoo parlors and strip clubs?


Carnac: Yes, no and maybe.

Envelop: What is Senator Kerry’s position on campaign finance reform?

Carnac: Two peas in a pod.

:smiley: I was SO hoping someone would give that answer! Sorry, I don’t have a funny answer so…

Carnac: Two peas in a pod.

A hooked on phonics dropout filling out a job application to a pod factory.

Carnac: Whither thou goest…

Envelope: How does Shakespeare do dirty talk?

Carnac: 37 and a half

How does lieu sort his underwear?


Carnac: George Bush, George Foreman, and George Jetson.


Regards,
Shodan

Sorry, I messed that up.

What is the population of Jeffrey Dahmer’s apartment building?


Carnac: George Bush, George Foreman, and George Jetson.

Regards,
Shodan

Envelope: What does an optimist call a bottle of Heinz 57 Sauce that’s about two-thirds full?
How’d Shodan sneak in here?
TWICE ! !
Crap. I can’t think of a good answer, so I’ll have to pass.
(above was for nocturnal_tick’s 37½)

Envelope: Name three cartoon characters.

Carnac: Redmond, Washington.

America’s premier Gated community.

Envelope: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

What do you call a Native American cleaning an elephant?
Envelope: Mama Mia

The real envelope: “What usually precedes “That’sa spicy meatball!””

Envelope: Long, hard, and wet.

…and I should know better than to say anything… it should read-

Carnac: Long, hard, and wet.

How would you describe the Titanic’s voyage?
Carnac: The O’Franken Factor

What is Ireland’s top talk show for mad scientists?
Carnac: Texas Hold 'em.

What method does the Wonderbra employ to increase clevage?
Carnac: The Library at Alexandria

Where’s the best place to download kiddy porn on a free computer?
Carnac: The Democratic candidates in the 2004 primary.

Carnac: What was the name of the failed Family Affair spinoff?

Envelope still unopened: The Democratic candidates in the 2004 primary.

Who were the director’s original choice for the movie Dumb and Dumber

Carnac: Jay Leno, Dave Letterman, and Joan Rivers

Envelope: Name three comics who aren’t on the same exalted level as Johnny Carson.

Carnac: Shrinky-dink.