And MusiCat isn’t the Mad Crapper!!
I suggest you check the superintendent’s locker. :eek:
Yup.
The butler shit it.
In what room? Using what?
I must confess, the part of me that will always be 13 thinks this is hilarious. Mostly because I don’t have to clean it up or deal with it.
Also, obligatory Onion link.
Horatio, do you have a number 1 suspect ?
Not this time Frank
(puts on sunglasses)
This time -pause
I’m looking for number 2
Yaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
He should be easy to catch. just use the process of elimination.
Sure, if you desperately wanted to spend that much money. AND had reference DNA samples. Which I’m reasonably certain they don’t.
Holy shit, this is funny
Yes, generally feces contains enough cells with DNA material to provide a positive identification. So have the campus police send samples to the lab.
And if you know that the perpetrator lives in your dorm (how?), you might ask everyone to voluntarily submit to DNA tests. You might find him. Or you could concentrate on the men who refused the test – skip than the ones who are constitutional rights activists, and look closely at the others.
All this might just scare him into stopping, but that’s partly what you want, right?
One thing I can tell you is that it’s not Sherlock Holmes.
No shit?
How do you know a student is responsible? Perhaps the teacher shit on his own hood and just forgot about it.
You can rule out the anal retentives with the tidy rooms.
Actually, it’s my understanding that this can be a sign of serious mental illness. We had a similar problem in an office that I worked in, and the police took it much more seriously than we expected. It was way past the “prank” stage though, including smearing on the walls in the ladies room, and attempts to write words and such.
You are looking for a person with a very childish temper. Imagine the way a 2-year old gets angry, and watch for that behavior. Verbal tantrums, assuming that others mean to offend, very low confidence level. This person is a gatherer of grudges, and the majority of his (or her, but it is highly likely to be a male) conversation will be about who has offended him and how. This person probably does not date or have a “best friend.” This person’s roommate probably has no doubt about who is doing it, but not enough proof to speak up. (You might start with the list of people whose roommates have asked to be switched to another room.)
Ours was unusual in that it was mostly happening in the women’s restroom. The police were really surprised that a female would exhibit this behavior. It turned out to be a physical male who was living as a woman.
I wouldn’t have been. You shoulda seen the condition of the female heads on my last at-sea duty station. ‘Nasty’ doesn’t even begin to describe it. Up to, and including, obscenely-worded fecal smearings on the walls of the stalls.
:eek:
Well done.
If he has a couple of accomplices, they could be the Three Tushkateers.
And if he’s religiously-minded using hemorrhoid pads to wipe with when he’s done, we could call him Friar Tucks.
When I went to Space Camp as a child somebody took a dump in the sink. The culprit was never identified, maybe it is the same man continuing a 15 year long brown streak of fecal terror. I really pissed me off too since the counselors tried the whole ‘lets punish everybody until the person who did it confesses’ routine.
Could it be a copycat pooper? One person’s prank getting outshat by competitive shit disturbers.