FWIW, my anecdote was a one-time experience in the mid-90s. Nothing like that ever occurred anywhere else, but the OP brought it to my mind. It stuck with me because it was so bizarre.
If I meet a wm/af couple, my first thoughts tend to differ according to her nationality. If she’s American-born and raised, I don’t think much of it. The American-born asian women I’ve known weren’t raised to fit the “submissive” stereotype nor would they have ever allowed any man to believe they were, so I assume the couple got together due to mutual regard and attraction.
If she’s from a foreign nation I get a little more suspicious. Some men still find the idea of female subsurvience appealing, and asian women are often stereotyped as submissive in the media. As evidenced by the booming “mail-order bride” industry, some American men prefer to seek mates, usually from Asia and Russia, who fit their idea of a more traditional woman. In my experience, the women who become mail-order brides usually do so to escape a desperately poor and oppressive nation, and they may market themselves in such a way as to attract these men. This always struck me as a decidely unromantic arrangement – in return for food, shelter, and a green card, the “delicate lotus flower” is expected to be a combination wife/maid/decoration. How delightful.
“Mail order” couples are probably only a minority of wm/af couples, but if I see a wm/af couple were the woman has an accent and there is a decent age gap, I probably do assume that’s it’s not neccesarily an equal partnership.
… but I am an Asian female who’s only ever dated Caucasian guys. I don’t deliberately avoid Asian men, but it just happens that all my boyfriends have been whiter than snow. I’ve never experienced a negative reaction - in fact, I’d say that most reactions have been pretty positive; I’ll often find people smiling at my boyfriend and me when we’re together. But we’re fairly young and I “speak Aussie” so that could be the reason.
I’ve had a couple of male Asian friends accuse me in a joking-but-serious way of being racist against Asians. My cousin doesn’t like seeing WM/AF pairings, although he’s great friends with my boyfriend and considers him an honorary Asian.
I don’t think anything of it unless there’s also a huge age difference. (which I know is prejudiced)
I am a white female, who is generally physically attracted to a certian ‘type’ of asian male FWIW.
I’m not a Caucasian female, but I am an Asian female dating a white male. I also have several friends in the same situation, so I don’t see anything wrong with it. 
I’ve never heard white women complaining about this, but I have had plenty of discussions with Asian guys over this issue. They always claim that white men just want Asian women because they’ve heard we’re submissive, but I have yet to meet any Asian woman who would be considered so.
I’ll have to ask my SO if he’s ever gotten any grief over this.
It’s all about the penis.
I don’t have much of a clue why white females feel resentment towards the white male/asian female couple. Maybe, as some posters have suggested, it’s because they feel the asian females robbed them of more opportunities.
As an asian male, i don’t feel any resentment against white guys for dating asian girls, but I do feel a little cheated. Asian males are hardly sex symbols, therefore I have less chances with white and asian girls (and black and latina girls). And asian girls dating exclusively white guys gets tiresome too. I mean, wtf?
It sucks but it’s a reality all asian guys have probably accepted.
I hear some flak occasionally, and in every case it’s been from western women. So far, I’ve yet to hear a negative comment about my wife from a western guy or a Japanese of either sex (although I’ve heard negative comments from them, it’s always been directly about me).
Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention, unlike the OP, I’ve never heard these women make racist comments toward my wife. Instead, the comments are usually directed at me for being too much of a loser to handle a real (white) woman.
I don’t think any differently about Asian/white pairing (no matter which one is male and which one female) than I do about any other interracial pairing. Well, that’s not quite true. Whenever I see a one black/one white couple, I always think “They make some of the most beautiful babies in the world!”, and haven’t really thought that about other racial mixes. But I digress. I don’t care if a couple is racially mixed, racially matched, hetero, homo, or what. If they seem happy together, I think “good for them!”
Asian women are supposed to be submissive? Hell, I think my Chinese wife and I missed the memo on that one… 
They may not make racist comments to your wife, but they are certainly making racist comments about your wife.
I don’t think it is about them wanting you, or thinking that their selection has decreased. It is more about ego. They think they are the absolute greatest, most sought after race/gender combination. These same people would not feel threatened if you were with a black woman, for instance, because they likely feel some racist superiority that white women are preferred. They don’t feel this superiority over asian women, so they have to come up with racist ideas like asian women being submissive.
Maybe it is because all the asian women I have known I met in college, but in my experience asian women are anything but submissive. Those I have known were very intelligent, funny, and had a high sense of self worth. Maybe too high for some people’s liking?
I never dated any of them though. I don’t think I focus on appearance, but for some reason all my girlfriends have been caucasian brunettes, each at least two inches taller than me. At least I never had anyone accuse me of wanting a submissive woman.
Oh, I know. What I find amusing is that the ones who’d make comments about me wanting a submissive wife were usually getting ripped a new one on a daily basis by female managers. You’d think they’d have figured out by now that the stereotype wasn’t true.
Holy crap, it’s August 4! Happy 3rd SDMB birthday to me!
As soon as I saw this I thought of a scene in the movie Carnal Knowledge where Jack Nicholsen plays a sex hound guy who is constantly on the prowl. He presents a slide show of all his old conquests to his friend from college and when he gets to the asian woman he says
“Now this was my jap in the sack. I was told asian women were different…Not in America they’re not”
I’ve dated a lot of people noticeably different races than me and I found that if I am in a neighborhood with lots of different people there was never a problem like you described. If people looked I hoped it was because I am just so damn cute or my sweetheart at the time was so damn handsome. But I didn’t spend any time checking up on others’ reactions.
The only time people needed to make their reactions known was when we were in a predominently race neighborhood, then we would get comments. If the neighborhood coresponded or felt more alike to my race the negative comments were aimed towards him. vice versa in his neighborhood(s).
Why do people do it? They are stupid and want to show it.
“Bitch. Break up the Beatles, will ya?”
I don’t even think about it when I see an asian and a caucasian person together in a relationship. It doesn’t make much difference to me at all. I don’t see where people see the problem in the least.
To address the OP, first I’m a western male with a Chinese national wife. I’ve had the entire gaunlet from nothing to either I’m a loser or my wife is a green card chasing whore. This whole submissive “Asian female” thing is a bad stereotype that rarely plays out in real life.
Western women in Asia *can * have an attitude. To be fair, those that are inclined only toward Western males have a very limited mating pool, as a) there aren’t that many western guys and b) many of those western guys are inclined toward Asian women.
As an aside, I knew a black American woman in Tokyo that left after about six months complaining that there weren’t enough “eligible professional black men” for her to date. I was sympathetic but reality check time, if that’s you’re dating profile they maybe Tokyo isn’t the best place to play.
I would like to know where the heck all the submissive Asian women are. I’ve known many Asian women - in fact, my sister-in-law is Filipina - and among the adjectives I’d use to describe ANY of them, ‘submissive’ would be among the last. So I can only assume that it’s either a baseless stereotype - or that all of the submissive Asian women remain in Asian countries, too timid to travel.
- Rick
My honest first thought is usually what branch of the military the guy is in. I’m an Army brat, and growing up many of my friends were half Asian. I guess I’ve just not encountered that many mixed Asian couples outside of the military, so that’s usually the first thing that pops into my head.
Other than that, I don’t see it as anything other than just another relationship. My very first boyfriend was Phillipino, my first real love was Korean, and I’ve had many crushes on many other Asian men, although I wouldn’t say they were any more or less prevalent than my relationships or crushes on caucasian men, or men of any other race, really.