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Main Event Trailer Trash Tromping who: Tonya Harding vs. Paula Jones Tale of the Tape:
Tonya Harding
Nickname: “TNT”
Age: 31
Height: 5’1¾
Reach: 32”
vs
Paula Jones
Nickname: “The Pounder”
Age: 35
Height: 5’2½
Reach: 33” odds: Harding 1:4
Undercard 1 Sit Com Bat
**who:**Danny Bonaduce (“Danny Partridge”) vs. Barry Williams (“Greg Brady”) Tale of the Tape:
Danny Bonaduce
Nickname: “Boom Boom”
Age: 42
Height: 5’6
Weight: 168
Reach: 35”
VS.
Barry Williams
Nickname: “The Butcher”
Age: 47
Height: 5’10
Weight: 182
Reach: 39”
**odds:**even
Undercard 2 Washed Up Waterloo
**who:**Robert Van Winkle (Vanilla Ice) vs Todd Bridges (Willis on “Diff’rent Strokes”) Tale of the Tape
Robert Van Winkle
Nickname: “Bi-Polar”
Age: 32
Height: 6’0
Weight: 183
Reach: 38”
VS.
Todd Bridges
Nickname: “Mad Dog”
Age: 36
Height: 5’11
Weight: 180
Reach: 37” oddsVan Winkle 1:2
Beeblebrox Gaming Enterpises (BGE) has set the odds and titles for tonight’s matches only. BGE is not responsible for the nicknames of the combatants, which are the sole property of Fox Broadcasting. BGE is not responsible for payoffs in the unlikely event matches are proven fixed by FOX inc, Bill Clinton, or Gary Coleman. Finally, BGE shall not be held for responsible for American Culture’s downward spiral - the sole property of FOX Broadcasting Incorporated.
Bear this in mind: according to published reports AND the ever-reliable “Entertainment TOnight,” Fox TV has taped multiple endings to each “fight,” so that no one knows the end result that will be broadcast.
In other words… these aren’t real fights. They’re staged exhibitions, like professional wrestling, with scripted action and scripted results.
Now, perhaps this alone will be entertaining to some people. It might even be hilarious, in the same way that MTV’s Celebrity Deathmatch often was. Just don’t tune in expecting to see any REAL punches thrown. Bonaduce and Williams will only be play fighting, like the rest of the “combatants.”
**Astorian – ** If these were staged fights, no wonder these folks aren’t doing much acting, or Fox needs to fire the fight coordinator.
I found it entertaining, if not too competitive.
For the record:
Williams v Bonaduce:
Williams put up a fight and landed a few blows, but Bonaduce’s previous experience in the ring really showed. (Didn’t he already beat Donny Osmond in a charity event?) Bonaduce landed solid blows and scored some six knockdowns in the three rounds before Williams’s corner finally threw in the towel. Williams was just out classed, he should have been fighting David Cassidy. Bonaduce by TKO.
Van Winkle v Bridges:
Much more entertaining fight, fairly evenly balanced, but still fell under the truism “Don’t pick the white guy in a fight.” Van Winkle went the full three rounds, but Bridges, who probably had a few prison matches under his belt, scored more points as well as a couple of knockdowns. I felt Bridges won all three rounds. This one went to the judges. Bridges by decision.
Jones v Harding:
I wasn’t sure what to make of this fight, especially since Jones was a last minute replacement. Unless she worked out regularly, no way was she going to be ready for this. Also against her: Harding has shown herself to be just plain mean when it comes to competition. Jones had the crowd on her side going in and I would have said the two fighters were even through the first round with both scoring some good punches. But between rounds, you could see the two fighters in the corner and sense things were going to change. Harding had her gameface on while Paula seemed to finally be figuring out what she had gotten herself into. During the second round Jones began running for cover, turning her head and ducking behind the referee for protection, often leaving herself vulnerable to a flurry of punches from Harding. Although she answered the third bell, Jones had had enough and tried to wave off the fight. The Referee stepped in, but not before Harding landed one more blow. I would have had round one even, with round two going to Harding before Jones cried no mas. Harding by TKO.
Tonya fought like the little bitch that she is. The other fights were not exciting at all. I was privately hoping Paula would beat the snot out of Ms. Harding, but no such luck. Sigh.
I’m ashamed to say I actually watched it. I was, at times, even entertained, if only by what I felt were my dazzlingly witty remarks;
“OOooo-that bump looks bad. Better put some ICE ICE on it BABY!”
and
“Now DAT’S whatchoo talkin’ about WILLIS!”
Much to the :rolleyes: of my SO
