Withdrawal IS a form of birth control. It’s efficacy depends significantly on how well it is used. Perfect use, combined with periodic abstinence, can provide efficacy that exceeds that of (male) condoms.
Perfect use of Withdrawal is actually more effective that typical use of (male) condoms.
Those comments are supported by this cite, and countless other tables are available across the Internet, with very similar findings.
The insistence of some in this thread to claim that withdrawal is not a form of birth control is inconsistent with the science of reproduction and my own personal experience.
In my opinion, it would take upwards of 10 years of sexual experience to even approach “perfect use” of withdrawal, and I would strongly recommend against it for relatively inexperienced males. But my opinions are better suited for other fora, so I will leave it there.
What the spock is “perfect use?” I’m having images of a DDR style sex game. For the Wii of course.
I don’t think that cite says what you think it says. The numbers on that chart are the % of women who got pregnant by accident using the methods. The percentages for withdrawal are higher than the percentages for male condom use, even with the “perfect” use.
I agree that “perfect use” for withdrawal alone is less effective than “perfect use” of male condoms. It also says “typical use” of withdrawal is less effective than “typical use” of male condoms. Interestingly, it also shows that perfect use of withdrawal is considerably more effective than typical use of male condoms. And that point seems to have been missed in this thread so far.
In fact, some have said that withdrawal isn’t even a birth control method. It is (of widely varying efficacy).
My assertion is that withdrawal combined with periodic abstinence can be a more effective birth control method than male condoms. That assertion can be deduced from the linked table. However, I have seen other tables that show the efficacy of the combination, I’m just too lazy to google for them right now. If you doubt me, give it a try.
Jumping up and down after sex is a birth control method (of widely varying efficacy). It can be more effective than using male condoms (if the condom user inflates it over his head).
Also, I would imagine that “perfect use” of withdrawal is much harder to learn and implement than “perfect use” of condoms.
But there are those posting in this thread, suggesting that the OP is uneducated on sexual matters, and asserting that condom use is an efficient birth control method and that withdrawal is not a birth control method.
Condom use is very effective - if one approaches perfect use. Typical use isn’t even as effective as some forms of withdrawal. No one seems to want to acknowledge that point.
Embarrassing anecdote: In my very first experience with intercourse, I went the safe route and used a condom. But I wasn’t educated in their use.
After I had ejactulated, I thought I would be nice and cuddle with her before pulling out. Before long, I had gone limp. When I did pull out, the condom was no longer on my penis. I had to fish it out with my fingers (no pregnancy ensued, fyi).
Clearly, that is no where close to perfect use of condoms. I am sure that most here would agree that, in that case, withdrawal just might be more effective than (improper) condom use.
The point: It isn’t enough to just say, “use a condom!”.
Just want to say thanks to everybody. I know this is after the fact, but some posters pointed out that I wasn’t very specific.
Me and her are both 17. Both of us were virgins. Bot of us were probably undereducated. I stuck it in once, a tiny bit of pre-ejaculate came out when I took it out. Then about a half an hour later I stuck it back in. Nothing was released inside.
I don’t see any way to get her tested without her parents finding out…which is more of an issue than I can explain. Her next period wont be until the end of the month. On top of that, she is stressing out like crazy over the pregnancy thing and her family, and her cycle changes when she stresses. Im leaving for college at the end of August.
This will be the longest 2 months of my life.
thanks again. Im gonna try to hold it together…and this was gonna be a good summer…AAAAAAAAAh
People have offered to help you figure out a way to get her tested and better educated without parents finding out. Wouldn’t some sort of “I’m going out with unbroken after school today and I’ll be back by 6” followed by a trip to planned parenthood/a different clinic work? I’m failing to see the difficulty, but I suppose I should stop now, since I’m going off into non-GQ territory.
Well, if as the other posters say, you go to a Planned Parenthood/some other clinic and get tested, you won’t have to wait two months.
I’m also not seeing why you guys can’t go off without her parents finding out. If her parents do find out, it’s probably better than waiting all this time, though.
I agree, but I think the point that most people are focusing on is that withdrawal is very effective - if one approaches perfect use. Typical use isn’t even as effective as any forms of condom use.
unbrok3npp, please take people’s advice and visit your local Planned Parenthood. You can get through this without either set of parents finding out. If she did manage to get pregnant, you need to know sooner rather than later. Same goes with STIs. The sooner you know about these things, the better. Beaucarnea seems more than willing to help you out. Please, don’t be afraid to take her up on her offer if you need help. Good luck!
We’re not supposed to talk or see each other at all. Also, she doesnt have her license yet and her parents only let her go out with certain people.
She is going to her doctors this week for something unrelated. Could they do a pregnancy test without her parents knowing? Also, how soon will a store-bought test work?
Buying a home pregnancy test is awkward (as I know from personal exerience) but worth it for the peace of mind. Buy it in another town, if necessary.
However this is not a substitute for getting solid, personal information from an organization such as Planned Parenthood. Believe me, they want to assist you in any manner that is legal in your state and will make NO attempt to inform your parents if you do not wish it (they even have things like coded phone messages for people who share phones).
How did y’all find the opportunity to have sex in the first place? If you want something to happen badly enough, you find a way. This is one of those things that you really, really need to find a way to work out. HazelNutCoffee’s suggestion of having one of her friends drive her is a good one. Also, try calling Planned Parenthood and seeing if they have any suggestions on how to get her there. They want to help you and will not tell your parents or hers.
As far as having her doctor give her a pregnancy test, I’d doubt that would work out real well for her. That’s the sort of thing that would show up on insurance information/bills that are sent to her parents. Also, as far as I know, that’s the sort of thing you have to ask your doctor about ahead of time. If she’s going for a gyno visit, then it may be easier, but otherwise, I wouldn’t count on that working out.
2 posts before that one I told her age.
Im gonna try to work something out with planned parenthood. I think we’ll also get some home pregnancy tests and try them at the end of the week.
I was thinking of getting the First Response Early Result Pregnancy Test. Is this one good? the reviews I saw seem good. Is it safe to get these online(ebay etc.) or not.?
Ok, im sorry about all these questions. One more…
Does she have to wait until right before her next expected period to take the first response, or can she take it sooner? (i heard 10 days after “conception” somewhere) thanks
UNBROK3NPP, look dude, I know you have a lot of questions. I haven’t responded to your thread yet because this is GQ and fact finding for me is not entertainment. But I think you have the answers you NEED already posted in this thread. If you are genuinely concerned, you need to take the advice of those who chose to offer you advice and made offers to help you. I will not quote the two who have been most helpful, because I can see you have read all the responses. Take the help offered.
Look man, I suck at doing the unpleasant things in life that have to be done. I really hate having to answer for my actions. But it is one of the things that make you a man. Being able to impregnate a female only means that you have achieved puberty. Being a man means taking the appropriate action for whatever situation you find yourself. I don’t post this to rip on you. Enough people have done this here. And you must have some common sense, you found the SDMB after all. Do the right thing for yourself and this girl now. You will really feel good about yourself once you do.
(Then talk to me about a career in the Armed Service. )
Hey everyone- we are working on finding some professional help. Will have to wait for business hours, but the good news is that a Planned Parenthood station is within 10 miles of unbrok3pp’s location.
unbrok3pp, because you have a handful of people here emotionally invested in a good outcome for you, I would appreciate it if you would update this thread and let everyone know if you have followed through. You are not the only young person who reads this message board, and it would be a very nice gesture to post just enough information (anonymously, of course) to help someone else learn how to avoid this dilemma.
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