Chicken Snot & other goofy kid's rhymes

OK, my son and I were “discussing” a kid’s rhyme I heard when I was a kid:

A person says “Gues what?” and you reply “Chicken not, go out back and eat it hot”

My son insists the reply should be “Chicken butt”

BTW, I’m 36 and he’s 10. Howzabout a poll, is it snot or butt?

Trumpy, giving you possibly the stupidest poll you seen in a while.

When my brother and sister and I were little, one of us would say, “So what?”
The answer: “Stick your head in a coffee pot!”
Also: “Corn on the cob, corn on the doorknob…”
“Liar, liar, pants on fire, /Your belt is hanging on the telephone wire…”

Butt. Definitely butt.

Nope…it’s chicken but. IIRC, the exchange went like:

“Guess What?” “Chicken butt!”

“Guess Why?” “Chicken Thigh!”

“Guess How?” “Moo Cow!!!”

I think I’m scared I remember this…

“Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.” - George Carlin

Hmmph, you’re all wrong. The exchange is supposed to go like this:

“Guess what?”


“That’s what, chicken butt.”

The whole point is tricking your poor sibling into being the straight man (or woman).

This is a tough one. “Butt” is the better rhyme to “what” and kids tend to like any excuse to say butt.

Butt on the other hand, I like the sassiness of “go out back and eat it hot.” Some lovely imagery there.

I vote for snot.
No, wait - butt. I think. Yes. No.
And I’m not being indecisive.

True story, true story:

My 4th grade class (1969-1970). Our first teacher died six weeks into the school year.

It was the first teaching job for her replacement.

One of the assignments for class one day was to come up with a little rhyme or poem to read in front of the class.

OK, so far so good.

One of my classmates, when it was his turn, went to the front of the class and read his.

(I can remember this as clearly as if it had just happened.)

His poem:

“It was hot.
He fell into a pot of snot.”

The teacher immediately snapped at him “Out in the hall,” (where unruly kids were dispatched at one time–least it wasn’t “the cornfield”).

The entire classroom was erupting in laughter.

She (the teacher) then stormed out of class.

A minute or so later the other 4th grade teacher came over to our class, and said a couple of times, “This is disgusting–disgusting!”

Some time later our teacher came back. Years later I came to the conclusion that what had happened was that our teacher was about to burst out in laughter herself, and left for a while to regain her composure. In the meantime, she asked the other teacher to come over and watch us. (Don’t know who was watching the other teacher’s class.)


It’s “Liar, liar, pants on fire, nose as long as a telephone wire.” You know, like Pinnochio?

Oh, no it’s not DB. It’s “sitting on a telephone wire.”


“There was a genie with a ten-foot weenie.
He showed it to the man next door.
He thought it was a snake
And hit it with a rake.
Now it’s only 6 foot 4.”

And something cleaner…(to the tune of “Turkey in the Straw”)

Did you ever go fishing on a bright sunny day
Sit on the fence and have the fence give way
Slide off the fence and rip you pants
And see the little fishies do the hoochie-coochie dance?

Then he said, “That is that.”
And then he was gone.
-Dr. Seuss, * The Cat in the Hat*

Its Chicken Snot

Boil it up and make it hot.

Fourty pounds of…
Greasy, Slimy Gopher guts,
Mutilated Monkey Meat,
Little Birdies stinky feet,
French Fried Eyeballs,
Rolling in a pool of blood,
Gee, I forgot my fork,
So they gave me,
A Skin sandwich, pus on top,
Eagles eyeballs,
Camel Snot,
All these things they cost a lot,
So they gave me Vomit with sugar on top.

I’m Popeye the Sailor Man
I live in a frying pan
I turn on the gas
and burn my WHOOPS!
I’m Popeye the Sailor Man

Leslie Irish Evans

Sorry, DrainBead. I keyed it in just the way I heard it when I was a kid.
I also heard,
“Red, red, wet the bed, wipe it up in gingerbread.”
“White, white, white the kite, I’m gonna get married tonight.”
“Blue, Blue, wet the shoe, wipe it up in chewy doodoo.”
Another Popeye verse went,
I’m Popeye the sailor man, I live in a garbage can
I eat up the worms and spit out the germs…
One of my sister’s friends came up with,
“Tarzan, the monkey man, broke his neck with a wugga [rubber] band.” (We sometimes chanted it with “Genghis Khan, the monkey man…”

“If you drive an automobile, please drive carefully–because I walk in my sleep.”–Victor Borge

I never heard the chicken thing at all growing up…hmmm. We did have an alternative to Spiderman called Chickenman - the tune is the same for both theme songs: Chickenman, Chickenman, does whatever a chicken can.
Lays an egg, any size, hatches chicks right before your eys.
Look out for Chickenman.
Not a very formidible fellow.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

Ours was the simplest:

Guess what?
That’s what!

And the classics:

I’m rubber and you’re glue. Everything you say bounces off me and sticks on you.

Are too.
Am not.
Are too.
Am not infinity!!!

Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg, the Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker ran away.

Trick or Treat!
Smell my feet!
Give me something good to eat!

And GuyShyGirl, here’s how ours went:

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Chopped-up parakeet,
French-fried eyeballs swimming in a pool of blood,
I forgot my spoon…
But I got a straw!

It is much easier to see ourselves as better than or even worse than, rather than accepting that we simply are. - John “The Penguin” Bingham

Ah hem. In honor of the impending holiday…“Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg…Batmobile lost it’s wheel and Joker ran away - Hey!”

Ah! You beat me! But you reminded me of MY version of:
Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Dirty Turdy Birdy feet.
French fried eyeballs soaked in a pool of mud,
And me without my spoon, Darn!

Just remembered a couple more:

I see London, I see France, I see < insert name here >'s underpants!

Jill and Joey, in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes little Joey in a baby carriage!

You forgot the end to “I see London, I see France”! It was the most fun part! “Are they purple, are they Pink? I don’t know, but they sure stink!”

About this time of year in the late 60s my younger brother, then about 7, came up with:
“Jingle bells, jingle bells, Santa Claus is dead;
Rudolph took a .45 and shot him in the head!”