i’m giving him the benefit of the doubt in taking revisionist liberties. someone this douchey wouldn’t waste his time cajoling 3rd graders. however, if someone were to be immature, antisocial, and douchey enough to get into spats with little girls, he/she probably would be the type to broadcast it on a message board.
“Well, we don’t get much call for it around here, sir.”
Anybody else picturing Ignatius J Reilly?
No kidding. Name the first president of the United States, name the state that Los Angeles is in, and name the three most popular Girl Scout cookie flavors.
This stuff is BASIC, folks.
Congratulations on letting them know how bad their cookies are Gordon. You’ll have them making money in no time. When will this episode air?
Don’t you feel that they should sell Ginger Snaps? The name just screams Girl Scouts.
I kept waiting for the part with the Uzi or the chainsaw.
This is why they should teach Girl Scouts to use nun-chucks:
“ … No wonder no one wants to buy your cookies. Who put you up to this?”
“Yo mama!” Zip … zip … zip …WUP-POW!
“Are they made with real Girl Scouts?”
- Check
- (Sorry, I didn’t.)
- Double check!
You passed the reading comprehension class. But it looks like you’re going to be lonely in the advanced level.
They don’t sell chocolate chip because if you have lousy enough taste buds that store bought pre-packaged chocolate chip cookies taste like something other than colored dirt you can go buy Chips Ahoy like the other 5 year olds.
Chocolate chip cookies should only be fresh baked and chewy. The spendy Peperidge Farms ones are ok in a pinch, next you can move slightly up with bakery cookies, or you can shake off a little blasphemy by baking the ones from the refridgerated section. However, the only true chocolate chip cookie is one that leaves you with a messy kitchen and comes out of your own oven.
Heaven smells like freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Hell smells like Chips Ahoy.
I’m a little sensitive to this since last year I saw a less protracted version of this exchange first hand. The woman was an utter bitch. After needlessly shitting all over these little girls in front of a store she stormed off. I walked right up to the table and told them I couldn’t wait to buy some cookies.
That’s definitely wrong. There’s no need to actually be rude to little kids.
But the OP just seemed SO over the top, and then the 911 call? I just figured he was having a bit of fun.
Miss Woodhouse, I agree that Chips Ahoy is lame. Except those ones that come baked but you put them in the microwave and then it’s like they’ve just come from the oven. YUM.
I do like some chocolate chip store bought cookies. Tate’s makes some really great crunchy ones. And chocolate chippers from Linden are great. They come in little bags. I know, not super classy but I love them. And they’re SO crunchy!
I think the OP most likely embelleshed the story, to be funny, so he could make a point. Very good writing by the way, funny stuff.
The point is really “Why don’t the Girl Scouts, make chocolate chip cookies”?
A better question is why are they Girl Scouts in America but Girl Guides elsewhere?
Or since the little Girl Scouts are Brownies why don’t they sell brownies?
Or… Well you get the point
Even with shit on them??:eek:
Y’all are makin’ me miss Entenmann’s deluxe chocolate chip cookies. The ones with chocolate bottoms.
The organization does respond to market forces - I would predict from my friends’ reactions that Lemonades will be around for a long time, while Daisy-Go-Rounds (the diet-ish cookies) will drop from the list quickly. I agree that having relatively distinct flavors is a great deal of what makes GS cookies so popular, so offering chocolate chip, which is available in the store year round if you care for packaged cccs, isn’t a smart business decision.
I must admit I felt a little defensive reading the OP, even though I realized it was a joke (my kid is a GS). Then I remembered that I told a boyscout on my front step that I couldn’t buy his popcorn and support an organization that discriminates against gays and atheists.
And the assertion that chocolate chip cookies somehow require more freshness or chewiness than other cookies seems dubious to me.
My best guess is still that they assume an “exotic” or cutely-named cookie will call attention away from that it was made in a factory in Scranton 11 months ago. Who knows, maybe that’s the best way they can make a sale, and if so, God bless 'em. But the allure of the Thin Mint grows ever thinner with every year.
I remember when they sold chocolate chip cookies. They were a flop. Girl Scout cookies have to be something a little different, so people will actually be willing to pay $4/box for them.
(I also remember one year, like 1984, they had some awful things called Golden Yangles, which were cheesy crackers like goldfish. Nobody bought those.)
And some people (like yours truly) prefer crunchy cookies.
Ah, Jersey Girl Scouts.
I would love to hear a cute, 10-year old girl scout say this to a d-bag customer.