Choose your execution

since we’ve had the
Last meal thread now we should have the how would you like to be executed. You can choose any way you wanna go. I think I’d go with the shooting squad.

I think a pain pill overdose (if that is allowed)

I wish to be felated to death.

being slowly lowered into a pool infested with ill-tempered, mutated sea bass with lasers attached to their heads

Licked to death by kittens.

Oh, give me an old-fashioned guillotine!

I want a tumbril ride up Broadway to the execution site in Central Park. The crowds will jeer at me and my friends will blow kisses—men will cut off locks of my hair and artists sketch my noble features! Hawkers will sell invented versions of my memoirs on street corners!

Finally I will climb the steps to the guillotine as the crowd gazes on—I’ll make my last speech (something snappy, no doubt, with a rousing punchline). The blade will fall and the headsman show my head to the crowd—I’ll have made a comical face just before dying, so as to get a good laff from the crowd.

Now, THAT’S how to die!

I’ll go with the junk food & alcohol binge till I’m dead.

Thrown off the top of Angel Falls. That way the last minutes of my life would be filled with great scenery and a hell of a rush.

Well, since that answer was already taken…
Does anyone remember the Twilight Zone episode “The Obsolescent Man” (I think that’s the title)? Burgess Meredith :smiley: is condemned to death and is given the same option (choosing his form of execution).
I liked his solution.

What was it?

lethal injection.

To be serious (if a bit morbid), I read a book recently where a forensic pathologist described the various forms of execution currently in use in the states (except for firing squad). He considered the gas chamber (not used anymore) to be the most painful form of execution. He said he thought hanging was the next worst. He actually came out in favor of electrocution, based on the fact that mental patients given ECT (obviously, much lower doses of electricity) didn’t even recall the jolt afterward, that the electricity pretty much scrambled any pain signals. I suppose that has some merit, although it certainly looks gruesome.

On the other hand, there’s no way to know whether lethal injection causes suffering. It could be that if you are not completely unconscious from the first drug by the time the second one hits you, you could FEEL your lungs and diaphragm deflating and not be able to cry out or otherwise indicate you were suffering. You’d have a few seconds of psychological torment and smothering before the third drug hit you.

So, if it works as it’s supposed to, I guess for least painful I’d choose the needle. However, for effect and romantic appeal, I’d take the firing squad (although they had BETTER be expert marksmen). :eek:

Put me in a rocket on a one-way trip to the further planets. At least I’ll die having seen things no-one else will probably ever see.

How about a nice room filled with several thousand dollars worth of stereo equipment, several choice CDs / bootlegs (Ithaca '77 comes to mind) a good sized bag of uber-kind cheeba and a tank of nitrous. I’ll go sometime during the night, when there’s nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile…

I’ll take death by old age, of course.

Nah, give me the old-fashioned firing squad. I want the assholes to realize what they’re doing, not to pretend it’s a medical procedure.

Oh, and Palandine: The risk of lacking marksmanship is taken care of - that’s why the officer in charge is issued ammunition for his sidearm as well…

How do you pick a firing squad, anyway - it’s not the sort of crap you’d volunteer for, is it ?

S. Norman

firing squad.


I’d volunteer for Ted Bundy execution squad but I would shoot him in the… first then I would put him away. I think he should feel just a little bit of the pain he put those girls through. I don’t like rapist murderers they are useless human beings.

I’d want to be executed in a duel, I think. I’d cut down man after man until I would finally succumb, exhausted. Not terribly realistic, I admit, but it would be one hell of a way to go.


Perhaps the same way that the French Admiral (I think he was and admiral) dies at the hands of Xenia in Goldeneye. However, the death of Trevelyen does not share the same appeal.


Originally posted by Spiny Norman
How do you pick a firing squad, anyway - it’s not the sort of crap you’d volunteer for, is it?

Oh, yes it is. In Utah, anyway.