This inspires me, re a pet hate:
Jane Austen:
If only you’d been in Boston,
And dumped in the harbour there in 1773 –
You’d never have had one word published; which would greatly please me.
(I know she hadn’t yet been born in '73 – but, poetic licence and all that. And I truly have tried with her novels, over and over…)
Sir Isaac Newton
Observed that fruit
When cut from its bough
Would fall somehow
Albert Einstein
Showed the time-line
Wasn’t straight
I forget the date
Erwin Schrödinger
Dropped a humdinger
When he said that a kitten
Could be both living AND smitten
Charles Darwin
Took to carvin’
With Occam’s knife
The Tree of Life
Stephen Jay Gould
Was ever so bold
To speak of male nipples
And clitoral ripples
Donald Trump
Moving his rump.
Will never be President
And will wonder where his supporters went.
Douglas Adams
Causes great laughter spasms
In panic I’ll never howl
As long as I have my towel
Slightly obscure, but if you’re a fan of the Kansas City Royals, you’ll appreciate:
Christian Colon
By two twelfth-inning singles alone
Made drafting him rather than Chris Sale
Not an epic fail
Harrison Ford
I am never bored
Whether it’s Indy or Han
I’m a big fan
Sylvester Stallone.
Rose to fan all on your own.
before both Rambo and Rocky
The Party at Kitty and Stud’s was quite “cock-y”
Jerry Brown, Governor Moonbeam
Lived the American dream.
You ask how he did that?
By dating Linda Ronstadt.
David Carradine.
Your death was the most bizarre ever seen.
At your funeral it was a lock
They would not play “One Night in Bangkok.”
Pablo Picasso
Drank absinthe and Brasso
That’s why his faces
Were all over the places
Vincent van Gogh
Cut his ear off
Unless it’s said /ˈɡoʊ/
In which case he cut his ear o
Jackson Pollock
Dropped a bollock
It went splat
He framed that
René Magritte
Was known to cheat
Denied what he drew
Ceci n’est pas un clerihew
Thomas Kinkaid
What a reputation you made
Calling yourself “Painter of Light”
“Urinater of Light” sounds more right.
Michael Phelps
Really helps
Aquatic sports to be
2016’s must-see tv
Chuck Lorre
Your shows never bore me.
My favorite is the gang
From the Big Bang
Wow, that’s harsh! I was only Joking about Picasso and Pollock.
Ryan Lochte,
When confronted with a lock he
Couldn’t pick,
Gave it a kick.
Magic Johnson
Didn’t wear a condom
Announced he was HIV
With such grace and dignity.
Tom Cruise
Whatever role you choose
You always play the pretty guy
Makes me gag and ask “Why?”
Tom Cruise
Wears platform shoes
And pays dear
To be engram clear
To compliment Phidias
Is downright invidious.
Praxiteles
Might get jealous.
Benedict Cumberbatch
Funny name, but quite the catch
He’s in every movie, those are the facts, son
Except all the ones with Samuel L. Jackson.
ode to an exclamation mark
if hitler rose again today
what would bertrand russell say
he’d probably say – to no avail
that we should blame the daily mail