Comedy Central Roast of Ann Coulter... er, I mean, Rob Lowe

You wonder what Ann was thinking. Did she think that only the target gets lobbed at?

Choice quotes:

Peyton Manning: “I’m not the only athlete up here. As you know, earlier this year, Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby.”

Jewel: “I do want to say as a feminist that I can’t support everything that’s been said tonight, but as someone who hates Ann Coulter, I’m delighted.”

Nikki Glaser: “The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave.”

“What is it like to be a real life super villain?”

Rob Riggle: “If Ann Coulter is here, someone must have said her name three times. Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!”

according to katt Williams those comedy central roasts are mostly pre written by comedy writers and rehearsed especially for the non comedians and half or most of the people don’t know each other personally …

but some one was enjoying themselves…

She did appear a bit shocked, although that could have been her eye makeup.

Her set wasn’t as awful as I expected. There were a few jokes in there that were actually pretty good (I don’t actually remember them) that I think would have gotten some laughs in a less liberal environment. Plus she really poisoned herself with the Trump book thing. That may have been intended as a joke, but it didn’t come across as one.

I like a couple of anti-Peyton lines:

One of the three best QBs in his family.

The Tom Brady of commercials.

Something about Eli still playing football.

“At least Eli is still out there making his dad proud.”

Just about every joke victim laughed along when people made jokes at their expense, but yeah, Coulter seemed paralyzed. Not a snicker, no change to her stupid grin, not even a movement of her head. Very weird.

I couldn’t even watch her whole set. Watched a couple of jokes bomb after she brought out her Trump book, and then just fast-forwarded through the rest.

For non-comedians on roasts, I thought Martha Stewart did pretty good (during the Bieber roast).

Why are Peyton Manning, Jewel, and Ann Coulter even at a roast in the first place; shouldn’t it be people who are, you know, comedians?

I was hoping for a Greg Giraldo hologram. <sigh>

After "The Situation" and his performance during the Trump roast, it was such a low bar, too.

I read that Ann turned down jokes written for her by Comedy Central writers and substituted ones written by her and a writer she paid. A CC writer described her as being utterly without joy or humor, and that her comedy revolves around finding racism, xenophobia and Mike Pence funny.

I thought Manning did OK, and Jewel did pretty good.

Yes, why is Comedy Central inviting people to their roast who the audience will be pleasantly surprised if they are just okay?

Because celebrity is prized far more than wit.

I thought that was Marilyn Manson in a ladies suit.

I think Nikki Glaser calling Jewel “Trailer Swift” might have been my favorite one.

Indeed. Who are we talking about with the zingers? Is it the professional comedians? No… it’s the non-comedian celebrities. Comedy Central knows what it’s doing.

I don’t really get the roasts anymore with the seemingly random roastee and the even more strange choice of roasters. Trump I get. Bieber, a great target. But Rob Lowe? Aside from his sex scandal - what 30 years ago? - what the hell bad is there to say about him? I saw most of the show, and, don’t get me wrong; I watch them but they confuse me as much as they make me laugh. I didn’t stick around for Mr. Lowe’s rebuttal but it seemed to me that he should just say something to effect of “yeah, you’re all funny motherfuckers but I’ve banged all your girlfriends and wives and those I haven’t yet are imagining I am when they’re with you.”

I’d just like to know in whose attic his aging portrait is stored.

He’s been married for 23 years, right after he got sober, and his wife and kids were at the front table. So I’m thinking no on that quote.

A conservative comedian wrote a set for Coulter, which he really wanted her to use so that the conservatives could claim “we’re funny too.” She junked his jokes just like the CC writers’ jokes. Too mean. Apparently she’s never seen a Roast and refused to watch one to study.

“I’m just here to sell my book” should have been a great premise to build a set around. She sabotaged herself. Jeff Ross actually went to her during a break to tell her to laugh at the jokes aimed at her so the cameras would have a better image to send out. Didn’t do that either. But afterward she accused CC of editing out the laughs for her jokes. Is it more frightening to think she believes everything she says or nothing she says?

Jesse Joyce is one of the regular writers for the Roasts. My wife and I went to see him a few weeks ago. Excellent set. More stories than one-liners, although some great ones of those. I’d recommend him if you get a chance.

It’s frightening that people believe and look up to her.

Wow! Vicious! But funny. “As you know, earlier this year, Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby.” She is kind of horsey, in a palomino kind of way, but the more substantive jokes were a lot more cutting. And she deserved every one of them.

One might say she’s gutsy for showing up at events like this or the several times she’s been on Bill Maher’s show, but it’s all mercenary self-promotion. To someone whose currency is fame, there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

I made the mistake of reading the comments on that article. Holy goddamn, the insanity. I will never understand the idea that being a homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, racist antisemite is NOT bigotry, but calling someone out on it is.

Too mean for Ann Coulter? Sorry, not buyin’ it.