For me, it’s salad/potato toppings: Bac-Os and seasoned croutons.
Oh, and cheapo grated parmesan & romano.
I guess they aren’t a condiment so much as an ingredient, but I can eat a whole container of Progresso Seasoned Breadcrumbs, with a spoon, straight from the can. They’re especially good washed down with beer.
I like a good pull off the Caesar salad dressing bottle. On the ingredient-not-condiment side, I can’t resist swigging Eagle Brand Sweeted Condensed Milk.
Well, then, you can have mine. I always leave it on the plate.
I used to eat those duck sauce packets from the Chinese Food place. Stopped that not too long ago.
But I do eat the following things:
Hot pickle (Indians pickle cucumber, soak it in oil for weeks, season it so it’s spicy hot, and sell it in jars. My mouth literally starts watering as soon as I smell it. Pavlov’s doggie, here.)
Mango Chutney (like eating honey)
Honey
Chat Masala (another spicy Indian…er…spice. I put it in a plate and dip my orange slices into it, then I lick my finger and dip it into the spice and lick my finger. Repeat
until all gone.)
And I only do any of this at home.
The canned french fried onions, especially Durkee brand, are yummylicious. I’ve been known to buy a can at the grocery store and eat it all before I get home.
Oh, man. I forgot duck sauce. When I eat out, I literally drown my egg rolls in that stuff and then slurp whatever leaked out afterwards. I have no shame when it comes to duck sauce.
Are you my wife? She’s the same way. But if you like bottled peanut sauce, I command you to make it from scratch. That stuff is thoroughly guzzlable.
Similarly, a local Japanese restaurant makes a ginger salad dressing that I could drink by the tumblerful; I don’t even try to restrain my wife from finishing her salad and then upending the bowl into her mouth. Hell, I do the same thing.
Homemade pickled onions=eat by the handful.
When I finish my sushi, I’ll sometimes roll up a dab of wasabi in a leaf of pickled ginger and nibble on that until I’ve got no condiments left.
Daniel
Any kind of salad dressing on a slice of bread, especially blue cheese.
Jello granules, right out of the box (just moisten your fingertip and stick it in).
Mix butter into a jar of peanut butter, and eat it right out of the jar.
Kosher dill pickle juice.
Any kind of frosting - you can have the cake.
Any kind of sugary decorations that go on cakes.
Chocolate chips.
Cremora.
Tomato sauce, preferably Prego’s.
And my favorite: Mix together butter, sugar, a little flour and vanilla. Mmmmmmm!
Is sour cream a condiment? Because no matter how much I put on my baked potato, I always put a spoonful into my mouth, too (just to clean the spoon off, you understand).
[Kochu Chang](http://www.foodsubs.com/CondimntAsia.html#chile bean paste) - Fermented soybean/chile paste (it tastes much better than it looks!)
I eat it like it’s going out of style. At our local Korean restaurant, the servers have stopped bringing the jar to the table. They say it’s too hot spicy and I’m going to hurt myself eating it straight, so they carefully mix it into a dipping sauce for me. The big meanies.
- mustard - I’m quite happy to lick a dollop or half a spoonful off a utensil as I’m cooking
- chocolate syrup - every now and then I’ll take a spoonful, if I’m out of Hershey bars and feel like some chocolate.
- marischino cherries are not safe in the fridge. They will disappear a couple at a time.
- I’m not afraid to eat an extra dab of butter off the knife if it’s left over after I butter my corn on the cob.
- sugar cubes in restaurants are not safe around me as I wait for service.
- same with those hal-and-half tiny-cups if I run out of coffee and the waiter is nowhere around and I’m thursty.
Guess hunger tops convention every time for me - if I like a food I don’t insist on it being mixed with anything else.
I will eat chow-chow relish alone or with just about anything.
It’s best on a hot dog, though.
Does pizza qualify as a condiment?
Please say yes.
Of course. Sometimes I sneak a slice or two when I’m dipping my celery in it.
I always make sure there’s a bit of Cool Whip left over for me to eat straight. But even better than that, hot fudge by the spoonful!
Repulican veggie: ketchup. Democrat veggie: salsa. The master speaks: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/040716.html
I must be bipartisan, because I love both ketchup and salsa. Ketchup does have a slight advantage in that it doesn’t make my nose run, but it isn’t nearly as good with tortilla chips.
I’m making Ro-tel dip Wednesday. I wonder how much of it is really going to make it onto chips instead of being eaten with a spoon.
I forgot honey. I can’t believe it. I put honey in green tea, and I end up eating twice as much as I put in the tea.
Capers. I have to restrain myself so I don’t eat the entire bottle at one time. They really should come in a bigger bottle. Anytime I use them in cooking half go in the dish and half go in my mouth.
I eat olives and pickles as snacks but I don’t consider them condiments.
I also tend to lick the mayo or sour cream off the utensil but I don’t eat gobs of it by itself, I eat gobs of it with other stuff. (I am really craving some fries dipped in mayo right now - and I’m not even British.)
I will use more soy sauce and duck sauce than needed with my Chinese food just so I can have those condiments.
The only other condiment I can think of that I will eat by itself is ranch dressing. I usually dip stuff into it but if I run out of the dipping thing I’ll just finish off the dressing without it.
Fluff.
Apple butter.
Not together, mind you.
Waitasec… why not together?
Excuse me, I have something I got to do…
carrot relish - they make it at Hart’s Turkey Farm restaurant in NH, and you can buy it there too. I’m sure you can get it other places, but I loved theirs. Oh, sweet, sweet carrot relish. How I miss you…
Also, red pepper jelly, which basically tastes like a relish, also.
MMMM…this thread is making me hungry for condiments. I’ll eat various dips by the spoonful, esp. seafood dips. Who needs a cracker?! It’s really only a vessel to deliver the dip to your mouth, and you can use a spoon and thus save room for more dip!
Spaghetti sauce, esp. the chunky kinds. I’ll eat it while I’m waiting for my pasta to cook, cold out of the jar.