Confessions

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

  1. I am a yuppie. Oh sure, try as I might to project a happy go lucky, man of the people air on this board, when it really comes down to it, I am a yuppie. I fit the profile well, I figure it is just a matter of time before I drive off in my leased BMW talking about my portfolio strength searching vainly for the nearest Starbuck’s.

  2. I did not find the movie There’s Something About Mary the least bit funny.

  3. I am not a fan of Aerosmith. They may be old. They may be resilient. They may sell millions of records. I still think all of their songs sound the exact same and that they have all visited the Keith Richards School of Mummification.

  4. I like the Sound of Music. I am a red blooded American male and yet somehow, when Captain von Trapp gets up and sings at the talent show I always find myself humming that song in my head for the next week.

  5. Girl-girl scenes do nothing for me.

  6. My dream pizza no longer consists of red meat. It would have mushrooms, spinach, and extra cheese.

Gosh I feel unburdened.

2

[ul]
[li]Not a big Aerosmith fan myself.[/li][li]The best pizza has mushrooms, onions, and black olives.[/li][li]Hi Opal.[/li][li]Girl-Girl scenes are pretty stupid if you ask me. Matter of fact, so is porn in general.[/li][li]I’m the son of closet yuppies. Refuse to admit they’re nouveau riche.[/li][/ul]

You’re not alone man. :slight_smile: Except that, Starbucks is the devil.

[sub]Of course, apparently I’m 43% gay, so take that as you will.[/sub]

3

[ul][li]Cindy Crawford does not crumble my cookies[/li][li]I am an Englishman that dislikes cricket, rugby, horse racing and boat races[/li][li]I did not realise that an ‘air guitar’ wasn’t a real musical instrument until I was 22[/li][li]I don’t even like pizza much[/li][li]I like chain-store coffee, except for the price[/li][/ul]

4

I am a newbie.

Wait, that’s obvious. Ahh, I got nothing. Frankly, I just don’t like seeing single digits by my name; reminds me of my ineptness.

5

[minor hi-jack]
Quality… not quantity.

Of course, I should practice what I preach. :slight_smile:
[/minor hijack]

6

[weeping]Sometimes I find myself singing along to my daughter’s NSync crap. It’s catchy, you know?[/weeping]

7

I have a degree in English lit and I work for a publishing company, and yet I haven’t read a book in months because I play video games too much.

I’ve never seen Gone With the Wind, and I have no intention of doing so.

When I built my deck I put the posts below grade, even though I know you’re supposed to mount them on post anchors above ground.

When nothing else is on TV, I sometimes watch VIP.

8

I have not seen Silence of the Lambs or Schindler’s List
I hate seafood
I prefer cheap light beer domestic beer to “quality” brews
I actually OWN a Backstreet Boys CD
I have trouble saying the word “bass” correctly in context
I wet the bed past age 6
I have credit-card debt even though I know better
I had a one-last-fling weekend with an exboyfriend after he got engaged. He flew me down to join him on a business trip so no one would know.
I was secretly relieved to get a c-section
I am an incredibly jealous person but utterly suppress it

9

  1. I love 'N Sync with all of my heart. After Rammstein they are my favorite musical choice and I do have vigorous sexual fantasies about Lance Bass.

  2. I really really really didn’t like The English Patient

  3. I love to watch porn. Porn porn porn. It’s so…nasty. I love it.

  4. When I’m getting ready in the morning I talk to myself aloud and in the third person, dictating my biography ala “Behind The Music”:

Then, when her third best selling novel hit the shelves, she decided to start work on her most epic masterpiece…

  1. I really really really really want to have a baby right now. Oh boy do I.

jarbaby

10

I hate beer
I hate coffee
I hate playing cards, except for on the computer for hours on end
I hate cars and consider driving a necessary evil
I hate to shop
I don’t wear makeup and I avoid hose and skirts whenever possible
I spend entirely too much time chatting and surfing - I need to interact more with humans in my community
I wish my next door neighbor would be abducted by unpleasant aliens. She accused my dog - the one who can hardly walk because she had surgery on her leg last week - of running loose and killing her rabbit. Yeah, there are NO OTHER DOGS in the entire area that could enter her unfenced yard, destroy her cheesy rabbit cage and kill her stupid rabbit…

oh yeah, and I have anger issues…

11

  • Though if I happen to be watching they will occasionally make me chuckle, I don’t like either The Simpsons or South Park.

  • I don’t like sweets. Dessert of any kind. Cakes, pies, chocolate. I will eat it. But it is not changing my life in a wonderful way, like it seems to for so many other people.

  • I looked at the Milwaukee Brewers’ old ball-in-glove baseball logo for years before realizing that it formed an “m” and a “b.”

  • I have watched entire episodes of “Power Puff Girls.”

I think that’s enough shame and contrition for now …

12

In my line of work, I should be really good at Scrabble. I am not, particularly.

A 12-year-old from England whipped my ass on Yahoo Scrabble this weekend.

Talk about significant shrinkage …

13

but you’re a big burly hockey player so who cares? :wink:

jarbaby

14

-I think the following foods and beverages are vile…
coffee, brussels sprouts, salmon, oysters, dill, blueberries, any smoked fish, butter, rhubarb pie and brie.

-However, I can’t get enough of…
salt&vinegar potato chips, “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter”, peanut butter & baloney sandwiches and Turkish Delight.

-I like to play my drums. LOUDLY! I’ll beat them 'til my ears ring. I don’t read music.

-I hate jazz. I think “alternative” music, isn’t. I can’t see how “rap” qualifies as “music”.

-I’m proud that I can fight. I’ve hurt other men, sometimes badly, and I’d not go back and change a thing. However, I won’t provoke a fight and I’ve never thrown the first punch. I’ve never struck a woman.

-I hate anything that has to do with eyes. If you have to pop out a contact, put in a contact, put in eyedrops, etc.; my eyes start to water. If I have an eye exam, it’s likened to having a panic attack.

-Some people are frightened of me by my size and demeanor. Good. I like it that way.

-I hate to fly… and I’m in the Travel business.

-I know very little about my computer. I want it to be like my microwave oven. That I don’t have to know anything at all about HOW it works, just that it does… each and every time.

-I like Weird Al Yankovic, Dr Demento, the Greaseman, Don and Mike, Joan Osborn, Tito Puente, tribal percussion, Paula Poundstone, Penn and Teller, the Amazing Jonathan, Ellen Degeneres, The Beatles, Jimmy Buffett, They Might be Giants, Talking Heads, Da Yoopers, Garrison Keillor, Brian Regan, Judy Tenuta and The Flying Karamazov Brothers. Plus too many others… but it would just take too long to mention them all.

15

The “M” on the Montreal Expos hats looked to me like the letters ELK. I was well into my twenties when I realized that this was not some cryptic nickname for the team.

More than half the time, I put “e” before “i”.

I always spell quote “qoute” and have to go back and change it.

16

I have been known to both eat out of the pot/pan/cooking dish and drink out of the carton.

I still somtimes fantasize about my ex.

I still fantasize about certain married Dopers…

I like to honk my horn at people who are driving erratically

I don’t know what I want to do with my life.

I like Old Country buffet and those crappy Chinese buffets…mmmmmm mass quantities…

Shaving didn’t do much for me so I’m letting it grow back out.

I like Irish music…lots and lots of it and I play my tinwhistle poorly and at high volume neighbors be damned.

17

My GOD I love Old Country Buffet. I nominate the next ChiDope be there :smiley:

jarbaby

18
  1. I used to date a guy that did not know the definition of personal hygiene. He used to brush his teeth and take a shower only because I made him do it. He was nice, but stinky.

2.I never read “The Scarlett Letter” or any of the other books we were assigned in high school. Not a single one. I passed all the tests by just listening in class. Now, I read things like “A Seperate Peace” and “The Catcher in the Rye” because I want to.

  1. I have really weird, twisted, kinky dreams about the owner of the restaurant that I work at. I have no interest in him, really, but every once in a while these dreams pop up and freak me out.

  2. I will shamelessly watch Jerry Springer, as long as no one’s looking.

  3. I am currently on very friendly terms with someone who was on a national radio show.

Man… I feel better now.

19

Whoops. That last part should say

  1. I am currently on very friendly terms with someone who was a disc jockey on a national radio show.

But now he’s stuck here in this po-dunk town…But I don’t think he minds, now…

20

I don’t want anybody else.
When I think about you, I touch myself.