Confessions

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
181

Background - 16 year old, white/Native American gay male.

  1. While sitting in traffic, I am severely tempted to commit serious violations, if it looks like I could get away with it. I.e., running lights through 6-lane highway intersections if there’s an opening, jumping curbs, passing on the shoulder or turn lane, a quick side-trip on a sidewalk…etc. But, I never do. Or at least I haven’t yet.

  2. I’ve had my license for less than 3 months, and I think I’m already well on my way to becoming a “road-raged” driver.

  3. I don’t particularly like my father, and avoid talking to him whenever possible. Sometimes I’ll strike up a polite conversation because I feel guilty for accepting money.

  4. I became involved with a guy I met through the Internet for several months without telling my parents, even when it got serious and I began planning a way to meet.

  5. I came out to my parents several weeks ago, and was mean and vindictive for a week afterward because I felt like they wanted me to feel guilty for being gay.

  6. I yelled at my parents for the first time in my life after coming out.

  7. I convinced my Mom to let me meet Jon ( my SO, the one I met online) face to face two days ago, while we’re in the New England area for vacation, on the condition that there would be ‘nothing physical.’ As soon as her back was turned we kissed and made out, among other things.

  8. I was afraid Jon and I wouldn’t be compatible IRL, and was thinking of ending the relationship until we met, but I didn’t tell him anything about it.

  9. The meeting went wonderfully, and I’m basing my choice of schools on what is close to his University.

  10. I’m an Atheist, and my parents have absolutely no idea.

  11. I have to restrain myself from picking apart Jon’s religious beliefs.

  12. Before I met Jon, I was secretely relieved to read <b> Hardygrrl’s</b> posts about her online SO, because it gave me hope that it was a valid relationship despite the lack of physical contact.

  13. I’m very much interested in bondage and domination.

  14. I bought a slave collar this week. My parents don’t know about this either, obviously.

  15. I generally tell people what they want to hear, to save myself the anxiety.

  16. Somehow, all of my best friends are the offspring of conservative Southern preachers. I don’t know how this happened.

  17. I have a strong prejudice against “white trash.” I refer to the local grocery store as “white trash central” because of the disproportionate number of dirty, barefoot, half-naked kids running around.

  18. None of my male friends know that I’m gay. I’m thinking of putting a rainbow sticker on my car and letting them figure it out for themselves.

  19. After I met Jon, I cried off and on for 2 days because of the separation.

  20. I’m afraid of accidentally outing Jon to his parents, because he’s afraid he’ll be disowned if/when they find out. I think his mother is getting the hint that I like guys because of the amount of time Jon and I spend on the phone, and because of the birthday present I gave him.

  21. I still haven’t forgiven my Dad for throwing out a bullshit statistic that I have “A 70% chance of developing a drug addiction.”

  22. The batteries in my Discman just died so I’m going to exit the library and come back later, probably with more confessions.

-yd

182

I DRINK AND DRIVE.

I LIKE TO GO IN THE REFRIGERATOR AND EAT ALL THE SKINS OFF
IN THE LEFT OVER KFC BUCKET.

I LIKE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS!

I LET MY 6 YEAR OLD SON WATCH R RATED MOVIES.
(EVEN IF ITS GOT A LOT OF NUDITY)

I HAVE A CONSTANT WONDERING EYE.

AND NOT ONLY DO I PEE IN THE SHOWER BUT I ALSO YANK THE
CRANK AS WELL. (WHICH BY THE WAY MY WIFE CUAGHT ME ONCE
AND COULDN’T STOP LUAGHFING HER ASS OFF!)

183

YthDecay,
I’m glad to see there’s a Doper who isn’t sick of my Stinky Paws’ posts.
I just wish I could say who he is sometimes but since I’m not planning on sharing him, it’s for the best.

Miss You Jabroni and counting the days until we can talk…Your Little Ferret

184

I didn’t ‘get’ the movie Fargo at all. It was stupid.

I sometimes wonder how different my life would be if I had taken a slightly different path.

I’m driving myself into the nuthouse making sure that I don’t look irresponsible.

185

I didn’t ‘get’ the movie Fargo at all. It was stupid.

I sometimes wonder how different my life would be if I had taken a slightly different path.

I’m driving myself into the nuthouse making sure that I don’t look irresponsible.

186

I didn’t ‘get’ the movie Fargo at all. It was stupid.

I sometimes wonder how different my life would be if I had taken a slightly different path.

I’m driving myself into the nuthouse making sure that I don’t look irresponsible.

187

sorry about that.

I forgot one:

At my baby shower there was a line for the bathroom and I had to relieve myself (gas). So I stood behind my grandmother (whos known for acting innocent around various shall we say odors) and let fly. Thank God there was no noise. Then, I walked away. It was really hard to keep a straight face, but noone noticed.

188

1 Hate wearing shoes and I take them off at any oppurtunity
2 Mad at roommate for not getting me a Radiohead ticket too
3 Secretly want lots more sexual experience before i get too committed. Unfortunatly i’m already too committed (not married though)
4 Enjoy base jumping a lot–possibly more than sex
5 Hate professional sports and business men dispite when i coop I’m around people who are like that
6 Hate the college scene and feel like i’m losing out on my youth because of it.
7 Hate domestic beer and i’m IN college.

189

I’m a 19 year old female, who graduated high school last May.

*I cry everytime at E.T. I even cry when I hear the soundtrack.
*I hate movies that are based on sexual humor. I.E. American Pie and the horrid sequel.
*Sometimes I wonder if I have a sense of humor at all.
*I have no desires to have a boyfriend, at all. I have none of the “desires” teens usually get and never have (although I know I’m not gay b/c I’ve never had desires for females). I wonder if something is wrong with me. I never talk about guys with my friends, and if they do I keep quiet. I’ve never told anyone this before, either. Wow.
*I never wear makeup.
*My daily get up includes jeans and a t-shirt. I’m not interested in fashion.
*Like posters before me, The Simpsons is a religion. So is Harry Potter.
*I actually like 80’s retro. I also like oldies music (from the late 50’s and late 60’s).
*On the ironic side: I hate computers. Don’t ask me why I use one all the time.
*I like to brag that I can type up to 80-90 wpm, even though no one gives a damn. Heck, I admit that I like to brag.
*I hate children. Except for those who look up to me like a goddess, and the only ones that ever have are in the past.
*I’m bitter. My good friend has told me that, but I just denied it.
*I’m ashamed to admit that I’m ashamed to live in America, when I know there are places much worse.
*I actually like Charlton Heston, even though his views are about as far away from mine as could be. He’s so bad he’s good!
*I also get incredibly jealous, but have learned how to hide it.
*I have an anger problem over inanimate objects (right now it’s my computer and my floor fan). I’m on my fourth remote control because of my anger problem.
*I hate driving as well.
*In second grade I once called a kid a racial slur because I was mad at him. I’m horribly ashamed of this.
*I know I should have more empathy over things.

I probably have more.

190

I knew I’d have more. But just a couple:

*My original plan was to go to college starting next fall. But I have enrolled for this fall only because I’m too lazy to get a job for a year.
*The other reason is because I know I’d secretly miss going to school. I’ve been going to a school for the past 13 years, and am afraid of the big change. School is all I have known.
*On a cornier note, I do not want the year 2001 to end, because I think the year sounds cool and futuristic. All because of the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey which I love. I am also secretly disapointed that not more references have been made to the movie this year on TV.
*I am fascinated by serial killers and murders. I have two encyclopedias on serial killers; I did my 11th grade Psychology report on Charles Manson; I have a book about the different methods of executions throughout history, and I have two biographies on Ed Gein (the inspiration for Norman Bates in Psycho).

191

I just bought the White Lion greatest hits CD. Although I have to say that a lot of it seems mediocre on this first listen. I bought it based on Wait and Little Fighter.

192

Ghod, I debated with myself for a long time before posting on this thread <takes a deep breath> :

I smoke and I don’t feel guilty about it.

Although I am a member of a message board dedicated to fighting ignorance, I work at an alternative medicine clinic.

My mother’s death was established as accidental, but my brothers and me always tought that it started as a suicide attempt.

I hold grudge. For a long time, I mean years if not decades.

I have a bad case of foot-in-mouth disease. I don’t try to offend people on purpose, but it always seem to end that way.

I haven’t been in a serious relationship in over 20 years.

I am afraid of my temper. Although I keep it under control, I’m always afraid of an incident that might cause me to blow up and hurt people.

I always try to defuse akward situation with humor, however inappropriate.

I think I will stop for now.

193

I am a 15yr old black female

*I hate when my parents are home. I love the house to myself and it irks me when they are home.

*I usually never wear make-up out of my house but I have a huge silver box of it when I feel like being a model.

*I think Hanna-Barbera cartoons suck.

*I have a crush on my gym teacher from 5th grade.

*I wish I had a friend who wasn’t afraid to debate.

*I really do no like GWB just cause he talks goofy (I know its so horrible)

*I think anime is the coolest thing ever.

*I want to be a Charlies Angel.

*I totally sympathize with the Columbine kids.

*I have three true friends and lots of people who I really can’t stand as acquaintences.

*I think cheerleading is a sport

*I think rap is music

194

I am a 17 year old male.

-I live in a nuclear family, mom and dad never divorced, i have two sisters.

-Thinking back, i nearly killed my little sister on three occasions.

-Throughout school i had trouble making friends. My world was a cold dark place, i had one true friend until grade 7.

-I plotted to kill a bully in grade nine. I was scrawny and he made fun of me to all lengths. One day i finally snapped and punched him in the left eye. He lost vision in that eye for a little more than a fortnight. i stopped my plan to kill him after i saw the pain i had caused him. He got beaten by his dad for getting in the “fight”.

-I smoked my first joint in grade 11. I had always been against drugs.

-I have smoked up at least twice every day since the end of school. When i am honest with myself i se that i have turned into the pothead from the anti-drug comercials. I hate myself because of it.

-I have 6 days until my 18th birthday. I’m scared shitless of what is going to happen to me in my life.

-i don’t have my drivers licence, but i continue to take out my sisters car. my dad caught me, i left too much gas in it, and he noticed the difference. I’m denying everything.

-I hate lying to my parents.

-My parents are to fucking concervative, they look down on drinking, experimenting with drugs, pre-marital sex, and my mom has even been influenced by the church to believe that masturbation is bad. It is for these reasons that i lie to them.

-I hate religion. i hate that millions of people die because their parents put them in the “wrong” church. i hate that pastors get rich from people giving their money to “god”.

-I think that the world is going to shit and that bush is leading the way. I live in canada.

-I wish that greenpeace would start helping the world rather than hindering it.

-i wish that i stopped wasting my life.

195

Once, while incredibly stoned, I poured melted nacho cheese on a bowl of corn flakes and ate it with a spoon.

While watching television shows or movies that feature skinheads or Nazis, I will sometimes assume the character of those people and start speaking deeply hateful racial epithets against minorities, homosexuals, or Jews, often with a German accent. I’m not German (nor white actually), or a racist, but for some reason when alone I’ll pretend to be.

There are things on my hard drive that are illegal in most states. They are in folders labeled “DOS System Utilities.”

I used to lightly torment my cat by holding her by the throat to the ground with my hand. I’d hold my face close to hers and tell her to say “Uncle” until she meowed once. Then I let her go. Other times I’d say “I am the god of your universe. The god! I am your god!” She didn’t understand, but I would pretend she did.

I have urinated into other people’s houseplants, and justified it as “recycling.”

Years ago, while feeling very sexually frustrated, I had relations with a carefully-formed fold in my leather jacket, with the help of some petroleum-based lubricant.

From the age of 12-16, I attended Christian Rock concerts with Christian Rock friends, but was embarrassed to wear Christian Rock T-shirts to school because it wasn’t cool. At night I would lay in bed and tell Jesus I was sorry.

I have a literature degree, but work in advertising. Never finished my masters, but still mislead people by talking about “grad school” as if I had.

I was fired from the US Peace Corps. Attitude problem.

Until I was 20, I didn’t know that the word “Band” on the AM/FM switch referred to frequency. I thought it meant what kind of music you wanted to hear.

Until I was 16, I didn’t realize that candle flames were fueled by wax. I thought the wick was special somehow and burned a long time. We didn’t have many candles at my house.

When teen-Christian guilt finally persuaded me to take my shoplifted copies of Penthouse and Hustler and bury them in a muddy riverbed near my house, the next day I went back and dug them up. They were ruined, but I managed to save a few pages. The next week, I shoplifted another magazine.

In college I baited a rat trap with peanut butter and set it on my balcony for the pigeons, whose cooing kept me up at night. I caught one, and beat it to death with an empty wine bottle.

I regularly update my profile in Bigfoot and WhoWhere, hoping someone from my past will write me. I also regularly run my name through Google to see how much I exist on the net. There’s another guy with my exact name, PhD candidate at Michigan State who publishes papers on physics and is very involved with his church. I am jealous of him, but secretly hope that maybe people will think that he’s me, and that I am now a scientist.

196

One more…

Last night I didn’t get to sleep for three hours because I was too afraid; I had gotten done watching 1987’s The Fly. That movie is the only movie that scares me to death, and I’m not sure why (it can be so corny!). Sometimes when my imagination runs away with me, I can get terribly afraid of the dark. I’m also afraid of the hallway outside of my room. It had a spooky quality. Oh, and I also sleep with a teddy bear (named Radar).

197

—>I’m scared that I’ll try smoking up just once and end up like Wump. I’ve watched friends smoke themselves away. I’m so scared of ending up the same way, but I want to try it SO badly. [sup][sub]I’ll like it, I know it.[/sub][/sup]

—>I, too, hate lying to my parents. It makes me feel guilty. Most teenagers I know don’t give a fuck whether lying to their parents is wrong, they just do it. Habit.

—>I get so sad when I see people who closed against even considering the possibility of a loving God. I am not a fan of organized religion myself, but can’t this be attributed to (once again) humans taking something wonderful and fucking it up past recognition?

—>The Church has been used as a tool to promote all sorts of stupid shit. For instance, the masturbation-is-evil campaign. I can understand that masturbation can be a way of filling your mind with bad thoughts, lustful sin-filled thoughts, which is bad. You are supposed to be keeping your mind clean, and masturbation might be detrimental to the cause. But “masturbation will give you acne” and the other fairy tales people circulated to scare off kids from the occasional jackoff piss me off. Ok, so now it’s bad to wonder about your body and explore. (Ever watched toddlers expect themselves or their friends? They’re learning. It’s natural.) It’s so evil, as a matter of fact, that demons from hell are going to spring pimples on you or make your hair fall out. Do you know that people got put in straightjackets simply because they were found masturbating?
[/rant off] deep breath

—>I feel horribly lonely when I’m online at times like this when no one of my friends are IMing me. It makes me feel worthless for some ungodly reason.

198
  • I just spent about an hour reading all those confessions. What an amazing thread!
  • My parents pay me $25 a day to watch my 6th-grade sister. I hate her with a passion.
  • I am completely comfortable with not knowing what will happen to me when I die. I just want to spend my life having fun and doing things I like to do, not worrying about religion and whether or not I’m pleasing God.
  • I have openly expressed my hatred of cell phones to all my friends. Now, I kind of want one but I don’t want to contradict myself. Also, I don’t think I have enough friends to really justify my getting a cell phone.
  • I have an intense crush on a guy who is two years younger than me. I want him more than I have ever wanted anyone, and he probably has no idea.
  • I really want to have sex after prom this year, but I doubt that I’ll have a date with whom I would want to do the deed.
  • I want so desperately to be an individual, but I’m finding that it’s not even humanly possibly. I hate the fact that I even somewhat care what other people think of me. I hate that my friends and I have such similar tastes that we will discover a band separately and then think each other is copying.
  • I think that I am an attractive person. In fact, I sincerely believe that all guys are nuts for not wanting me.
  • I have a hyperactive sense of smell.
  • There are only a handful of people I know that I truly care about.
199

-I would eat grilled cheese with tomato soup every day of my life were I not afeared that it would kill me in time.

-Despite this fear of death, I smoke. Voraciously. Like it’s my one, true love. Which it might be. I will not quit, barring pregnancy, until I am on my deathbed, at which point my last words will be, “Got a light, dude?”

-As good of an actress as I am, and as much as I love doing it, I cannot bring myself to audition these days. Nor have I had my recent headshots printed up. I just know too many people in the damn business to be bothered.

-I am secretly wondering how hard it would be to seduce a Real World cast member (being filmed a few blocks away from me this season) to increase my face time on screen. And if I do, do I get credit for it?

-I don’t think monogamously. Even when I’m being monogamous, I just don’t think in those lines.

-I went to years of college, paying hundreds of thousands of dollars on my own to get three degrees. I bartend. And it’s not even to stick it to The Man or anything. I just can’t be arsed with the work force.

-I want a sugar daddy. I think it would be the coolest thing in the world to have some guy pay for all my stuff and all I have to do is have sex with him every so often. Unfortunately, I’ve been offered this proposition a couple of times and the idea turns my stomach in reality.

-Booze is good. Period.

-Guys are my friends. I do not dig chicks. I know I’m not alone in this one, but I still feel badly about it. So many women have so many wonderful women friends, but I don’t seem to make the grade. I like to say it’s because chicks are just too damn competitive, but I harbour the feeling that it’s me, somehow. Or not.

-I love GD but will not post there as I am leery of anything resembling a fact, a law, or a set-in-stone opinion. The universe is just too crazy to be talking in absolutes. I’m comfortable in my little MPSIMS universe.

-I hate TV. I do not have one, I do not watch one, I do not like it. That said, if I find myself in a bar or at a friend’s house when it’s on, I become a slack-jawed idiot.

-I consider myself a groupie. I have met guys and started dating them just because I like their band and thought they were sexy onstage. I now try to avoid the three Bs. Bouncers, bartenders and boys in the band. Lessons learned, I guess.

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Hey, Nymysys…how 'bout comedians? I could use a groupie. :smiley: