Hey, Nymysys…how 'bout comedians? I could use a groupie. 
And will you be attending the infamous ChiDope?
First, my pugs > Russel Crowe. Good in Gladiator, but a womanizer nonetheless. Here come the confessions…
-I’ve slept with Catalyst on more than one occasion…
-I lurked on the SDMB for some time before even registering, and even now I rarely post.
-I’ve spent the majority of the past couple days analyzing tidbits I’ve learned about Searching For Truth.
-I’m the only person my age who likes (and has liked since near birth) Tom Petty.
-I’ll listen to a Pink Floyd record, then a Danzig record, and then some DJ Micro techo, finishing it all off with Judas Priest.
-I have a fascination with Vampirism and most things that accompany it.
-I spent my days wishing that I were doing something else, that it was tomorrow, or that it was yesterday.
-My female involment has been so minimal that my Dad tried to give me a “facts of life” talk… again.
-I have, once in my existence, wanted to hit a woman, after seeing/hearing the hell she was putting my older sister through.
-I’ve spent nights trying to parodize songs that were a fraction as funny as some of Weird Al’s songs, haha.
Not a whole lot to confess about but… shrug I guess I’m a good guy.
–ARose (not the flower, my first initial and last name)
I am an unabashed, unapologetic anarcho-capitalist who has (to date) converted 8 confirmed socialists to my point of view.
I own and regularly discharge several firearms
I carry a gun at almost all times, except when I’m drinking
I drink, occasionally to excess
I believe that every adult should be armed at all times except when they’re drinking or otherwise impaired
I’ve been in an open marriage for almost seven years
I love my wife
I also love my girlfriend
I adore dogs
I tolerate cats (usually)
I detest the majority of children and an even higher percentage of parents
I drive way too fast way too often
I hate Dave Matthews, Blues Traveler, the Beatles, Led Zep and <shudder> Steely Dan
I am a big fan of Rob Zombie, Meat Loaf, Paul Oakenfold, Kid Rock, Waylon Jennings, Travis Tritt and Gloria Estefan
I am a goth
I am a very disciplined writer and poet, but I’m too lazy to shop around for an agent
I drink an average of 20 cups of coffee a day
I’ve been told I perform cunnilingus like a girl
I enjoy giving oral sex more than receiving it
I hold two black belts
As a teenager I worked as a collector for a bookie
I like toys
I don’t like most people
I hate Disney and the Disney Co. and consistently put Walt in the top five list of people I’d kill if I could go back in time and negate their impact
I’m a Winnie the Pooh fan and loathe the fact that Disney Co. has the rights to him
While very gentle in the flesh I have very twisted fantasies
I’m not a nice guy, but lots of people think I am because I’m polite and courteous
I have a very bad temper and very good control of it
I’ve never cheated on my taxes, but MAN have I bitched about them
My favorite book is “Bright Lights, Big City”
I don’t really like anything else Jay McInerny wrote
I like bad movies
I don’t like art flicks (usually)
I really like Asian food.
I’ve run out of things to list, although I could probably go on for hours if I tried
Oh yeah, I’m verbose
I am an unabashed, unapologetic anarcho-capitalist who has (to date) converted 8 confirmed socialists to my point of view.
I own and regularly discharge several firearms
I carry a gun at almost all times, except when I’m drinking
I drink, occasionally to excess
I believe that every adult should be armed at all times except when they’re drinking or otherwise impaired
I’ve been in an open marriage for almost seven years
I love my wife
I also love my girlfriend
I adore dogs
I tolerate cats (usually)
I detest the majority of children and an even higher percentage of parents
I drive way too fast way too often
I hate Dave Matthews, Blues Traveler, the Beatles, Led Zep and <shudder> Steely Dan
I am a big fan of Rob Zombie, Meat Loaf, Paul Oakenfold, Kid Rock, Waylon Jennings, Travis Tritt and Gloria Estefan
I am a goth
I am a very disciplined writer and poet, but I’m too lazy to shop around for an agent
I drink an average of 20 cups of coffee a day
I’ve been told I perform cunnilingus like a girl
I enjoy giving oral sex more than receiving it
I hold two black belts
As a teenager I worked as a collector for a bookie
I like toys
I don’t like most people
I hate Disney and the Disney Co. and consistently put Walt in the top five list of people I’d kill if I could go back in time and negate their impact
I’m a Winnie the Pooh fan and loathe the fact that Disney Co. has the rights to him
While very gentle in the flesh I have very twisted fantasies
I’m not a nice guy, but lots of people think I am because I’m polite and courteous
I have a very bad temper and very good control of it
I’ve never cheated on my taxes, but MAN have I bitched about them
My favorite book is “Bright Lights, Big City”
I don’t really like anything else Jay McInerny wrote
I like bad movies
I don’t like art flicks (usually)
I really like Asian food.
I’ve run out of things to list, although I could probably go on for hours if I tried
Oh yeah, I’m verbose
I am an unabashed, unapologetic anarcho-capitalist who has (to date) converted 8 confirmed socialists to my point of view.
I own and regularly discharge several firearms
I carry a gun at almost all times, except when I’m drinking
I drink, occasionally to excess
I believe that every adult should be armed at all times except when they’re drinking or otherwise impaired
I’ve been in an open marriage for almost seven years
I love my wife
I also love my girlfriend
I adore dogs
I tolerate cats (usually)
I detest the majority of children and an even higher percentage of parents
I drive way too fast way too often
I hate Dave Matthews, Blues Traveler, the Beatles, Led Zep and <shudder> Steely Dan
I am a big fan of Rob Zombie, Meat Loaf, Paul Oakenfold, Kid Rock, Waylon Jennings, Travis Tritt and Gloria Estefan
I am a goth
I am a very disciplined writer and poet, but I’m too lazy to shop around for an agent
I drink an average of 20 cups of coffee a day
I’ve been told I perform cunnilingus like a girl
I enjoy giving oral sex more than receiving it
I hold two black belts
As a teenager I worked as a collector for a bookie
I like toys
I don’t like most people
I hate Disney and the Disney Co. and consistently put Walt in the top five list of people I’d kill if I could go back in time and negate their impact
I’m a Winnie the Pooh fan and loathe the fact that Disney Co. has the rights to him
While very gentle in the flesh I have very twisted fantasies
I’m not a nice guy, but lots of people think I am because I’m polite and courteous
I have a very bad temper and very good control of it
I’ve never cheated on my taxes, but MAN have I bitched about them
My favorite book is “Bright Lights, Big City”
I don’t really like anything else Jay McInerny wrote
I like bad movies
I don’t like art flicks (usually)
I really like Asian food.
I’ve run out of things to list, although I could probably go on for hours if I tried
Oh yeah, I’m verbose
My system told me it timed out twice when I tried to post the confession. If a mod wouldn’t mind wiping out two of those three, I’d GREATLY appreciate it.
Thanks
I drive like a complete asshole. I have no intention of changing this.
I used to work on a phone sex line. I was great at it, and I had to pay the rent somehow.
I used to work on a psychic hot line. I quit because I didn’t think I had appropriate training to help people in crisis. I’d go back to working there if I was desperate enough.
My job requires me to act like a total bitch. As long as that’s what I’m paid for, I don’t mind. If they paid me less, I might object. Time is money, right? They give me money, they tell me how to use my time.
I often work very hard. I often screw off and post instead of working. I don’t feel bad about that, either.
People often think I’m nice because I don’t argue with them. It’s really because I don’t give a flying shit what anyone else thinks. If I love somebody, I argue.
I ate the last of the fudge when Mr. Seawitch was at work. Then I asked him if he did it, since I couldn’t find it. He thinks he’s losing his memory… but doesn’t know I ate all the fudge. Heh.
I smoke. In California, this is just like saying you poke babies with a pitchfork. I smoke anyway.
I’m considering making up another confession so I’ll seem more interesting.
Reading these confessions has been oddly therapeutic. And comforting to find some people have some of the same dark secrets as me. Here are mine:
- My father would not have died if I had not been born.
- I used to steal candy bars from Lewes Dairy in Rehoboth Delaware
- I’m scared of bugs.
- I lie about my SAT score
- I sort of miss believing in God
I confess…
I’m horribly jealous of Catalyst’s lavendar hair.
I need to drive to TN, have sex, then come back. Everything will be fine then. (Ok, maybe not.)
I need to drive to VA and kick someone’s ass and knock some sense into Shogun Haircut.
The past couple days I’ve spent slowly getting to know ARose have been very interesting.
Tonight I was on Catalyst’s couch with no pants on. ARose and AFireInside and Jon Locke were there, too. I think it’s hilarious, specially since I’m telling the truth, just ask.
Stinky Paws isn’t the only Doper I’ve had phone sex with. He knows who the other is.
ARose just made my day.
(Wow, it’s a good thing I read over that. It originally said "made my dad.)
In order to get out of paying for a cab ride, I gave the driver ‘phone sex’ from the back seat. (I figured, how hard could it be, I know all the swear words. It’s really hard if you have to look at the back of their head)
If not for my dogs, I’m sure I would have killed myself years ago. I suffer from severe clinical depression and and a semi recovered bulimic
I love my dogs so much it makes my heart hurt.
I think I am the one of the most thoughtful, considerate people I know, but no one seems to care.
I have a tattoo of ‘Little Wooden Boy’ on my lower back
I ran my dishwasher 3 days ago and I still haven’t emptied it yet, due to my unbelievable laziness
When I quit college one month into the first semester no one thought I’d ever go back. I have two degrees now, but I never even cracked a book. I was in the honor society and feel like I pulled off some major scam.
I am embarrassed if I have to explain a word to a friend.
After reading a book, I spend days, thinking in my head, in the style of the author.
I will read almost anything, if I’m desparate
I can’t spell and I don’t care.
I do so little work and get paid a pretty decent salary for reading the SDMB
I spent hours at work last week, calling hotels for the ChiDopefest, and I don’t feel the least bit guilty.
I LOVE AEROSMITH and I think Joe Perry is HOT!!!
I saw Rogers Waters last year, an hour after I found out my favorite aunt died. If anyone would have told me to suck it up and go, it would have been her, but I still feel guilty. I still miss her even though we weren’t that close.
I am Jewish and I went to a Christian College because they had an excellerated program for working adults. I exploited my Jewish-ness for all it was worth. I would start GD in class to keep me awake. (example: during art history, while being shown slides of the Sistine Chapel, I insisted that we find out why Adam has a navel.
I have a filthy mind and a mouth to match. I dated a guy who went to Annapolis and one day while I was bitching about something, he said, “where’d you learn to talk like that? Is the fleet in? I was in the Navy and I’m embarassed.” I told him to fuck off. In retrospect, I think he is/was my soulmate and the only man I didn’t have to spell words out to. But due to my extreme mental issues, I screwed it up so bad, I will never see him again.
I have no idea who or what Rammstein is.
I usually date the most Arayn looking guy I can find.
(remember I’m Jewish, so it drives my mother nuts)
my fingers are tired.
Nineteen-year-old, Canadian, white, male.
[ul]
[li] I hate Americans. I know that there are smart ones out there, but that’s not obvious by walking down the street of an average American city.[/li]
[li] Used CDs rock; I have no intention of ever buying a new CD ever again.[/li]
[li] I’m afraid of failing at university come September.[/li]
[li] I’m afraid that too many concerts right next to the speakers have damaged my hearing.[/li]
[li] I’m fascinated by methods of torture and execution. They’re just so creative.[/li]
[li] My tolerance to alcohol has dropped drastically (which is good).[/li]
[li] I often have trouble suppressing a sudden urge to seriously injure strangers.[/li]
[li] I can’t tolerate children.[/li]
[li] I try not to be racist, but often find this difficult. Some things are just ingrained.[/li]
[/ul]
Studi
I’ve made 13 people become athiest who were catholic. I’m not an athiest,not a catholic either, and don’t have a single thing against them…
I’m an agorophobic (spelling). I only leave my house for work and the gym and I run home.
I workout for 3 hours a day and only eat just enough for my body to stay healthy.
I flex in the mirror, not to be vain, but to make sure that i don’t have fat anywhere, at all.
I’ve gone two weeks without speaking a word simply because I didn’t have anything really to say.
I love, love songs and listen to them constantly.
I own every Madonna CD.
I cut myself in spots where I know I won’t die simply because I LOVE the taste of blood (Only mine and wife’s so as to be safe).
I love everything with sugar
I’ll do anything my wife tells me and I love to
Everyone thinks I’m easy going and laid back, meanwhile I worry about everything.
I am a Dawson’s Creek freak, and I get offended when people make fun of Dawson cause I relate to him so much (and pretty much look exactly like him to boot).
Rammstein is a german heavy metal band.
-I have since gotten over the fact that my boyfriend cheated on me a long long time ago. Now, oddly enough, I am happy for him. I’m somehow glad that he got some from this girl, cause he wasn’t getting any from me.
-I’m not the least bit irked by this fact, I’m just glad that I don’t feel shitty about the whole situation anymore.
-I have not had any physical contact with my love for 11 days, and I miss him terribly. It will be another 2 until I can touch him again.
-I’ve been flirting with the idea of bisexuality for a little while. Nothing serious, just thinking.
-I am appalled at the fact that my best friend used to think that I was homophobic. I am appalled at a lot of the things she routinely accuses me of, thinking that she’s being funny or cute or in no way harmful to me; such as homophobic and cheap.
-I think ShibbOleth has a terrible crush on me, and have been checking the boards to see if he’s replied to any of my posts religiously for about 5 days.
-Various posters I would like to get to know more than anything; hardygrrl, jarbabyj, Elenfair…
That’s all for now.
Oh.
-I’m really horny.
I’ve been on this board for nine months and lurk daily, but I rarely post because I feel I have nothing meaningful to add. And this is while I’m in MPSIMS.
I think beer tastes like watered down urine.
I only drink coffee if is specially flavored and has about five sugars in it.
I don’t really believe in Christianity, but go to a Catholic church almost every Sunday because I love spending time with the family I go with.
I am a humongous slacker. I do only what is absolutely necessary to get by.
My ex’s mom has walked in on me flipping through said ex’s porn on numerous occaisions.
I have used people for sex.
I started smoking those special cigarettes again last week after quitting for over two years. And I’m happy about it.
I have fantasized about aforementioned ex’s father who is almost 50 years old.
I dislike almost all children and have vowed to never have my own.
I call my cat Spawn of Satan because I think cats are evil.
But I love most animals more than people.
I cried yesterday when I couldn’t stop my car to save a turtle who was trying to cross the road.
I hardly ever eat, and when I do it is usually bread or cheese. I am still relatively healthy.
My best friend still thinks I haven’t smoked pot - over a year after the fact. Nor do I plan on telling her.
I hate the taste of cigarettes, but still smoke occasionally - and I’m getting to like it more and more. This is very vaguely scary to me.
I don’t really click with most of my friends. Nor really like them very much. I don’t get this either.
I used to want to be an actress - I did classes, plays, you name it - but ever since I started High School, I’ve lost the want and seemingly the ability as well. I don’t know why. And I really don’t care as much as I expected myself to.
I’ve offended almost every single one of my friends on some occasion or another. I at first thought it was because they had no sense of humour, but I’m starting to wonder if mine is just extremely depraved.
I didn’t cry once after my Grandfather died. I almost felt like I didn’t care enough afterwards. I’ve since been told that it’s a natural thing to happen, but it still scares me. Sometimes I don’t think I care enough about other people.
Two of my friends often come to me with the threat of - yet another - suicide attempt. The last time it happened, my first reaction was to roll my eyes and wonder when the hell they were going to get it over with already.
I often fantasise about what my funeral will be like.
I can’t stand it when someone constantly whines about their problems - which they could more often than not solve if they actually WANTED to. If it’s important, of course, I’ll listen - but often it’s just the same petty bullshit. I really wish there was a polite way to say “fuck off” to these people.
According to anyone knows me, I don’t care enough. About anything.
I don’t really see this as a bad thing.
I love Journey and have come so very close to buying their Greatest Hits any number of times.
I hated The English Patient.
I’ve never been able to finish Catcher in the Rye. I always get distracted by something else around page 60.
I blare most Britney Spears and *N Sync songs when I’m in the car and enthusiastically sing along to them.
I have patches of hair on my upper arms that grow much more robustly than the rest of my arm hair. So I trim them about every 2 weeks.
I have no desire to stay in my home state, Michigan, despite how beautiful it is. I prefer the concrete jungle of New York City to the majestic beauty of north Michigan.
I still hold out hope, however small it may be, of getting back with my ex, because I can’t imagine two people more better suited for eachother.
God do I love WWF wrestling.
I just realized I have a lot more to confess. Oh, and I’m a 22 straight, white male, though I think that has no bearing on my confessions.
After riding an intellectual high horse for 6 years, I find myself really believing in Christianity again. In fact, I’ll probably go to Church for the first time in 6 years next weekend. (But I will never become born-again.)
I love my cell phone. I love using it. I love using it while driving. So there.
I collect Beanie Babies, so long as they’re a freakish animal. Like the platypus. But I also have lefty and righty, the political Beanies.
I stayed up 26 hours on Election Day 2000.
I sometimes try to imagine what’s going on in my life as a situtaion on Star Trek The Next Generation and ask myself what would Capt. Picard do.
I’m really, really tired right now.
I’ve never read a MAD magazine. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen one, but I recognize the characters face.