corny responses to "how are you?" (i need them)

[Homebrew]

Can’t complain, but sometimes I still do.

[Ludy]

I generally like:

Peachy keen

But am also partial to:

Do you want me to be honest, or reassuring?

[Clothahump]

“If I were any better, I’d be illegal.”
Gets a laugh every time.

[Rhubarb]

I’ve also responded with “Great! In fact if things get any better I may stop contemplating suicide!”

[Regallag_The_Axe]

In a realy upbeat voice:
“Drunk! Thanks for asking!”