BellaDellaItalia Your unspoken wish has been granted! Unfortunately you are far too embarrassed to tell anyone what that wish was.
Scuba_Ben will go to the Olympics as part of the staff for his (amateur competition) teammate. Your teammate is unfortunately entered to compete in the BDSM Olympics freestyle muff diving event due to a mix up in his/her entry forms. You get to help him/her warm up for the event.
I wish all my stored procedures worked first time without any need for debugging.
ping
Bippy all your stored procedures work flawlessly, first time, no bugs at all.
You, however, develop muscle tremors so severe (I told you to lay off the Jolt Cola!) that you keep on hitting the wrong keys at crucial moments, crashing and recrashing your computer till the hard drive fries.
I wish I had a warmer coat to wear home tonight.
You have a warmer coat to wear home tonight. Unfortunately, you live in Alice Springs, Australia, where it’s heading for summer in the desert and it might get down to thirty degrees Celsius at midnight.
You can’t get the coat off. Ever.
In spite of the fact that the emergency medical team has to resort to refrigerating your blood, you die of heat prostration.
I wish my friends’ mortgage was paid off.
Your friends’ mortgage has been paid off. Unfortunately your ‘friend’ borrowed your ID and got a loan from the Mafia to make the payment. There’s a guy knocking on you door, want’s to talk to you about late repayment penalties.
I wish you would stop hitting your spouse.
!!!SLAP!!!
Your wish succeeds beyond your wildest dreams. Not only do I stop hitting my spouse, and they stop hitting their spouses, but everyone everywhere stop hitting spouses. The world is suffused in matramonial bliss.
2 things go wrong, however. Now everyone (as opportunity allows) hits your spouse. And everyone hits anyone who is not their spouse. this leads to a decline in the number of new marriages (it hard to propose to someone who is hitting you and whom you are busy hitting). And the birth rate drops precipitously. Not to zero, oddly enough. There seems to be enough people who like the new arrangement that the species will not die out right away. The last 1000 years, however, are such a sadist and masochist festival that I even blush.
I wish for a couple wholesome thoughts <no fair asking what I want them for ;)>
You have a couple of wholesome thoughts, too bad they’re about whole-grain wheat bread. Yum!!
I wish I knew whether or not my niece was stoned last night, or just hyper.
:: prrmmmpppp… prrmmmpppp… poff prmmbrmbruumrumrubrrumbrambramBRAAAAApofAAAAAAAmmbraaAAAAAAAAAAAA… ::
You know whether your niece was stoned last night, or just hyper. Unfortunately, the answer was ‘neither’. The CIA mind-control rays had inadvertently affected her hypothalamus, altering the sodium/potassium ratios in her nerve cells, and causing her brain to run a little quicker than usual.
Things are back to normal. You readjust your tinfoil hat, happy in the knowledge that They Wont Get You.
I wish that there were thirty hours in the day, so that I could get everythiong done and get enough sleep.
:::tickticktocktick:::
Ah, Sunspace, why’d you go and wish for 30 hours in the day? Now we’ve got them – and to fit them in, they’ve been reduced to 48 minutes per hour. Result? The workday is now 11 hours long, and boy, does it ever drag.
You do get eight hours’ sleep, though – eight 48-minute hours.
I wish my nose would stop itching.
Coochiemama
EddyTeddyFreddy’s nose stops itching… but your butt starts itching… uncontrollably.
I wish I had a hot fudge sundae to eat right now.
Alaca-poofity-bipity-bopity-boo
You got your sundae, and boy is the fudge hot – try about 3000º! Have fun with your instantly vaporized ice cream (and the bowl, and whatever the bowl was sitting on, and etc. etc. …)
I wish I could speak fluent Korean (without losing my current ability in English, hah!).
Bippy, seeing as my teammate is (1) female, (2) flexible enough to side kick over her own head, (3) about my age, and (4) I was briefly infatuated with her some time ago, I don’t see any drawbacks to how you granted my wish. 
Add in the point that she’s a high ranking black belt and entitled to be addressed as “Master,” and your granting becomes quite interesting. 
Back to the game…
*** Foobar! ***
Anyonghaseyo now speaks fluent Old Korean. This enables em to work on eir doctorate in Ancient Languages of the Far East, and converse with the handful of other world experts in Old Korean. E becomes a professor of Old Korean, gets tenure, and does nothing of significance for the rest of eir life.
I wish BellaDellaItalia’s post of Governor Quinn’s death by sealskin was actually a corrupted granting of a wish (thus making Bella’s post belong in this thread).
<carpartsontheroad>
This thread is now the predict the death of the last poster thread, so everyone except Bella has been posting to the wrong thread!
Scuba_Ben dies terribly due to the fact that everyone who is not your spouce slaps everyone else who is not their spouce. Scuba’s teammate unfortunately slaps VERY hard, rendering him almost senseless, and then strangles/drowns him with a crossed leg neck hold.
I wish I didn’t have such a dirty mind.
ALA perversions away!
Your mind is no longer so dirty at all. In fact by the standard of comparison to everyone else, you have the cleanest mind in the land (did I mention that your actuall thoughts have not changed). Everyone everywhere now has strong visualisations of an extreeeeeeeeemely dirty nature once or twice a second.
And Behold for they are become perverted!
The incessent visualising of naughty things leads to an increased boredom with hollywood titilation. Baywatch fails. Victorias secret becomes common knowledge. Writers, moviemakers, and advertisers are forced to resort to clever plots to make money. People stop sneeking and hiding their private deviancies. Lying becomes almost extinct. Joy is rampant throughout the land. Except for Bippy. He has become bored with what is now his clean mind and soon expires from a lack of will to survive.
< just a second while I enjoy the fantasy>…
OK,
I wish I could live in such a world as this.
– asside from the game –
You do pervert, you do 
– carry on chaps –
^ HRONNNKKKK! PARP PARP! ^
Pervert. you can live in such a world.
But you don’t.
I wish Michael Jackson would become sane.
— wibble —
Since sanity is a relitive concept, sanity has been defined as like Michael Jackson. Unfortunately all of us who consider hanging out with underage children as a bit twisted are now certifiably insane, and are sent to government sanitoriums where we are forced to watch Michael Jackson videos until we become as sane as M.J. himself.
I wish that the next poster would corrupt this wish.
fleurtzpookh
The next poster corrupted your wish.
Therefore the wish was undone.
So the next poster had no wish to corrupt.
So he didn’t corrupt your wish.
So your original wish stood.
Giving the next poster something to corrupt. So:
The next poster corrupted your wish.
Therefore the wish was undone.
So the next . . .
(the nice thing about this is that the execution of this endless loop will give the hamsters a chance to take a holiday)
I wish I had something to wish for.
(if someone’s already done this, then I wish I hadn’t said it)
BJMoose, you have something to wish for, all right: You wish you had nothing to wish for. And your wish that you hadn’t said that is granted, so everyone else ignores your wish. In fact, the Wish-Granting Fairies™ are so confused by your erratic wishing that they throw up their hands and never grant you a wish again in your whole life.
I wish I’d get a lot of responses to my latest thread.
EddyTeddyFreddy would be getting lots of responses if it wasn’t for the fact that we have been taking too many steroids are are just to angry to post anything without using the words ‘Snunk Feltcher’.
I wish all the evil people in the world would change into cute little bunny rabbits.
Dyslexic genie turns all evil people into rabid bippys. Oops.
I wish that the sky was orange and purple.