whooooooooooooshhhhhhhh
The sky is now orange and purple. The land is pink and yellow. The oceans are red and green. The world’s population expires from the massive energy jolts created by the clashing colors. The only survivors are colorblind clowns.
I wish I had a pair of clown shoes.
floep
you now have a pair of clownshoes and are invited to perform on a cruiseship. you are very happy. But the shoes are so big they make you trip and fall in the water. The clownshoes are filling up with water making you sink like a rock. Enjoy your shoes at the bottom of the ocean.
I wish my girlfriend was blond
zapzapzapzap*
sportshoe’s girlfriend is Blonde! They announce their engagement here on the SDMB, and plan to get married at the Las Vegas Dopefest (still in the planning stages for February).
Blonde’s suddenly former SO shows up in Vegas, lures sportshoe into a dark alley in downtown Vegas, and clubs him to death with a pair of size 24FF clown shoes.
I wish that I had not wished for the return of The Grapist, known in eir latest incarnation as A EVIL MONKEY LIVES IN MY HEAD.
ook ook ook
[editorial comment: I wish people wouldn’t wish to undo previous wishes in a multi-page thread. The work involved in hunting down the original wish annoys the heck out of the hampsters. Especially Carl, who is still fuming about Scuba_Ben’s coffee ground remarks. He stormed off muttering something about hacking into S_B’s profile and filling it with all manner of salacious comment. For those who are curious (you know who you are, and so do we), the original grant was: “The Grapist returns! And kills you!”]
So The Grapist did not return and kill you. But since the rest of us are no longer impressed by your ability to post from the grave, we pay no attention to your posts.
I wish I didn’t have to go to New York for the big parade tomorrow. (How’d you like to be pumped full of helium and have some clammy-pawed store clerk tie a rope to your moosehood?)
<circus calliope>
In a surprise last-minute announcement, Macy’s moves its Thanksgiving Day Parade to Frostbite Falls, MN. Spokesman Tom Turkey said, “Instead of bringing the moose balloon to New York, we’re taking New York to the balloon.”
I wish to be an Airborne Ranger,
I want to go to Airborne school!
kaboom,
you are now an airborne ranger. (the want I ignore, thats not a wish) You are the dressed up ranger in the new gay hit band “hear our rear” There is also a mineworker, a doctor, a schoolteacher and a priest.
And after the show, they all go make out in the dark room. dont forget your rubbers.
I wish people would understand my jokes
zboinnnnnng!
Now you tell jokes all the time and everyone understands them and they suck! Noone talks to you now.
I wish I had long hair again.
dimosc you have long hair again, but the top of your head is going bald. You have developed a Mullet, and every time you cut your hair, it just grows back longer the following morning.
I wish happy thanksgiving day to all US Americans. And happy give thanks for not being American day to all us other people.
eeyore
You have long hair again. Just like the 60s. You have no job or money. Just like the 60s. You can’t get laid, even in a commune. Just like the 60s. The LSD is laced with Geritol. Just like the 60s. Richard Nixon is president. . .
I wish EddyTeddyFreddy would give her cats real cat names like Fluffy.
ETF has cats named
Fluffy, Muffy, Tabby, Tubby, Tuffy, Pussy, Wussy, Tiger and Ginger.
(I think I’m going to be sick.)
I wish I didn’t have to go to work today.
j_sum1 you decided to go to work but you got hit by a speeding bus full of exlposives and Sandra Bullock in the driver’s seat…
I wish I knew how to cook!
spatttterrrrrrsplat
dimosc, you now know how to cook. You never do, though, since a mysterious, incurable disease has rendered you unable to eat anything except mung bean sprouts and raw liver.
I wish EddyTeddyFreddySophieSerenaSylviaPumpkinSquash would make up their minds about who gets to sleep next to my shoulders instead of having catfights over it (and me) when I’ve just drifted off to sleep.
– hmmm, wasn’t it recently proven that anyone with more than three cats is insane, hmmmm–
BANG!
None of your cats want to sleep next to your shoulders any more, they have commandeered your entire bedroom, and force you to sleep on the couch.
I wish happy thanksgiving to all US. And happy give thanks we’re not American to all us others.
gobblegobblegobbleACK
Bippy, your wish has been granted.
Bippy, your wish has been granted.
The Fates decree happy thanksgiving day to all US Americans. And happy give thanks for not being American day to all us other people.
The Fates decree happy thanksgiving to all US. And happy give thanks we’re not American to all us others.
You, however, for the sin of double posting a wish, become the centerpiece of the SDMB hamsters’ Thanksgiving feast. It’s quite amusing to watch two teams of the little fellas doing the wishbone thing with what’s left of you.
I wish this stupid cold I developed would go away tonight.
abrakerchoo!
Wish granted. Well sorta. EddyTeddyFreddy no longer has a cold. But Eddy, Teddy and Freddy and all of the other feline underlings do. And they aint never going away. EddyTeddyFreddy now spends all of her time cleaning up revolting little packages that her cats have coughed or barfed up.
I wish I had an intergalactic pencil sharpener.
GrindersAlaPeanutButterSandwiches!
You now are the only owner of an intergalactic pencil sharpener. Every time you put a pencil in it, somewhere in a galaxy far far away, another pencil gets sharpened. And sometimes for no apperent reason (that we here in our galaxy can see anyway) it expels pencil shavings from another galaxy.
Fortunately in this galaxy pencils are made from the most delicious delacacies. You grow fat from scarfing the shavings. Eventually, you are unable to leave your room. Long distance cathaders have to be inserted for sanatation. They try all sorts of operations. They even put a pump on the cathaders. Nothing works.
Before you “blow” a last message comes from the remote galactic civilization that gave you the sharpener in the first place. It reads:
“Thanks for the sanitary disposal service. We could not finad anywhere in our galaxy to send more of that crap.”
I wish you all a happy thanksgiving! 
We all have a happy Thanksgiving.
And gain five pounds.
I wish I could lose five pounds.
Kerblotto!
Satisfying Andy Licious loses five pounds. Sadly, all of it was from the left buttock. It becomes tough to sit in a chair without falling sideways.
I wish my car had air conditioning.
*dwindle
SALicious loses five pounds.
Betting on the Grand National Steeplechase.
I wish I could win the Irish Sweepstakes.
You’ve won! And so did everyone else. You each get a buck!
I wish I had a better job.