Corrupted Wish

How does that corrupt my wish?

Per your wish, the NFL adds the new “Everybody’s a winner” rule, quickly nicknamed “The Little Nemo Rule.”

I wish that cheese sandwich I’m packing for lunch were really delicious.

burp it was!

I wish I had my own personal driver at my beck and call 24/7.

Congratulations, you are the owner of Toonces the Driving Cat!
I wish that my wife is always in the mood for sex whenever I am without being too tired or having a headache.

She also gets pregnant every time no matter what precautions you take.

I wish I had an all-cashmere overcoat.

On reflection, maybe if you’d asked for one made from just part of the cashmere goat instead of from all of it, your coat wouldn’t be quite so gory.

I wish I had a magic wand that let me cast the spells I want to cast, when I want to cast them.

[ninja’ed]

<ahem> Your spells cast fine-you now have a nice collection of spell scrolls ingraved on clay tablets. Oh did I forget to mention that they don’t actually work?

I wish that this thread would disappear into oblivion.

This thread disappears into permanent oblivion, along with every computer system ever devised.

I wish Obama loses the next election.

He does, to surprise write-in candidate Michelle Obama and Vice President Oprah Winfrey.

I wish I could be a better writer.

Poof, you are now J.D. Salinger, or, at least, what’s left of him after two years of being a corpse.

I wish I wasn’t so tired.

You fall into a deep, restful sleep that is only interrupted when the car you’re driving plunges off a very high bridge.

I wish I knew how to design and build bridges.

Congratulations, you’ve designed and built the I-35W Mississippi River bridge, Highway 19 overpass at Laval , and the Hoan Bridge.
I wish for a turkey sandwich on rye bread with lettuce and mustard. And… and I don’t want any zombie turkeys, I don’t want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don’t want any other weird surprises, you got it?

The turkey is not quite dead yet.

I want a ham sandwich.

SHAZAAM!!

An Irish indie rock band shows up at your house and wont leave!

POOF!!

Whenever you are horney your wife has sex with me!

I’m tired of moving every few years. I wish I had a stable residence.

Welcome home!

I wish my kids would learn to clean up after themselves.

You’re a horse.

I wish I could travel to the The Restaurant at The End Of The Universe.

Ah, ninja horses get me every time.

Meant to add:

soulmurk, your kids are now very good at cleaning up after themselves. No matter what crimes or misdemeanors they commit, you’ll never be able to find a single piece of evidence to prove it - they don’t leave a trace behind.

runner pat, you’re slated to arrive shortly, along with the rest of the Ameglian Major Cows in this week’s delivery.

Me, I just wish I had more time for my hobbies.