I insist that I’m only goofy looking when viewed in the visible light spectrum!
Interesting! I have green eyes, so that would explain it!
Are you a photographer or is it just a hobby? I’ve read a few threads lately where people mention being photographers and I find it fascinating. I’m hoping to someday see one of the “Ask the…” about photography.
So, what, are ugly people not supposed to date anyone?
I had one a little while back over here.
Ok here is the scoop. (for some reason I am not getting email notifications of replies to this thread anymore…i didn’t realize you were waiting so eagerly for the report!)
First, I knew before I met her, she was VERY unique personality wise. We have exchanged like 6 emails and here is her ending salutation on each one:
[ul]
[li]May you always find the good in all things and in everyone,[/li][li]Enjoy the simple things that make life memorable…skip rocks on the lake…walk on fallen logs…and lie on the grass in the dark summer night and watch the stars…Be of good cheer,[/li][li] Take time to listen and hear the sounds of nature…that you may hear things you’ve never considered…and appreciate something in a new light. Smile…life is a journey…[/li][li] Make it a good day…look for the good, and dwell upon it…[/li][/ul]
…So I knew she was unique. Plus she wouldnt send me a photo, but she agreed to meet me in person without asking really any significant questions about me…although she did have my picture in which I am stunningly attractive so…maybe that is enough.
She also wrote somethings in her emails that indicated a bit of…a sort of hippie snobbishness? Which also was a bit of a “Wierd/annoying personality red flag”, But damnit, I wanted to know what she looked like…if not for me…for all of you…to give some substance to this discussion.
I saw her across the plaza and immediately I thought…Nope…not attractive enough for me…mainly due to being too heavy for me. Which sort of suprised me, since she told me she swam laps every day…i thought she would be thinner. Not that she was obese, just a bit past my limit of chemical attraction.
She was not ugly. In fact, if she had like the most beautiful, funny, intelligent, enlightened personality I had ever met…I think I might have grown attracted to her. But the fact is…she did NOT have such a personality.
She talked A LOT. She is a member of mensa and ironically is a bit of a know it all. She came off as very judgemental. She made a snide remark about my major in college, Philosophy, as not being a real subject, just a bunch of BS. She claimed to be fearless, but when we talked about religion or politics she was completely chicken to share her ideas…although i got them out of her eventually, just by sharing all my views freely and telling her about women I have dated who had radically different viewpoints…
So anyways, we did not click at all in terms of personality. I kind of wonder what I would have done if she had that same personality, but had been TOTALLY HOT. I am a bit ashamed to say, I probably would do another date and just enjoy the arguments…and I don’t know what else.
So there ya go!
Good for you for getting out there and trying, though. The way to meet someone special is to keep meeting people, period.
Well, good for you for trying. Nothing ventured and all of that…
Maybe it’s the people I know, but those don’t seem too strange to me, actually a bit cliched.
That, to me, seems really rude and a terrible red flag (were you considering pursuing this).
Incidentally, I, personally, have a very high regard for philosophy as a major. I have known a few brilliant philosophy majors who really gave me an appreciation for the level of intelligence and grit you need to engage in the sorts of questions they face. I’ve also met a few people who were philosophy majors or were considering philosophy as a major who struck me as dilletantish and stuck up. I these guys (all men) give philosophy a bad name.
Oh, and as to the OP, I believe that you can be attractive and not photograph well.
I’m not very photogenic, I always seem to blink at the moment the shutter opens, and look drunk. Kinda like Earl on My Name is Earl…
I also had a girlfriend that was gorgeous but didn’t photograph well.
My mother is an example of very attractive but not photogenic.
In a nutshell, she has a face that is very beautiful while mobile (which it almost always is - she has a very expressive face) but on camera always looks about 10 years older and pretty plain.
It’s so weird. It’s something she acknowledges (I mean, how could you NOT?) and something people comment on a lot - she’s really very pretty, but you wouldn’t think so from photos. The camera doesn’t capture a person’s vibrancy or charisma, I guess.
On the other hand, one of my friend’s sisters is quite unremarkable in the flesh but the camera really loves her. Even those nasty school photographs looked good for her!
Boy, I feel silly. I didn’t notice there was a Page 2 when I replied.
Well, the email sign-offs would have been a warning sign for me. I’m sure there’s plenty of very well-adjusted folks who use those kinds of signatures, but most of the ones I’ve met have been very emotionally immature.
I have a couple of very good friends who have those sorts of things on inspirational posters (or even post-it-notes) near their computers to remind them to think positive thoughts - but it’s a personal reminder to them, not a message to the world. In my experience, that makes the difference.
Disclaimer: no offence intended towards anyone with those kinds of sig files. It’s a ‘mostly’, not an ‘every’. (Given the choice between someone with a funny sig file and someone with an ‘inspirational’ one though, I’d invariably choose the former over the latter.)
You have a husband and a boyfriend? Are you polyamorous or is there some scenario I’m not considering? 
As to the OP - I don’t know if some people are inherently unphotogenic, but it’s certainly possible for a person to only have unflattering photos readily available - but photos go the other way too. You could meet a woman who has very flattering pix online but isn’t quite as good looking in person. So I agree - if everything else is great, set up a short greet and meet in a low key environment like a coffee shop. I’ve encountered both situations in my life - I’ve met people who looked much better and people who’ve looked much worse then their photos. And occasionally there is chemistry in person that is the opposite of my sense of their visual attractiveness. That said, I tend to find people without pictures to be on the sketchy side, so I don’t meet them unless everything else about them is good enough to balance out the risk to potential benefit ratio.
But hell, this is true about myself. I’ve taken some photos of myself where I look like a hot model, and some where I look like assface. In the same week, someone will say I’ve gained weight and another will say I’ve lost some. One person will say I’m getting old and then I get carded at the movie theater. Even in mirrors, the amount and direction of lighting can change my appearance 5 points on the attractiveness scale and ten years. Sometimes my mood is a factor. I have no idea how I really look lol.
I can tell you cameras do weird things around me.
To set this up properly, you need to know I’m tall and thin, I’ve been described as “barely 100 pounds sopping wet,” you can see my hip and wrist bones clearly sticking out. Skinny. I have a photograph of me that, honest-to-God, and my husband agrees, makes me look fat. I don’t know how the photographer managed it, but anyone looking at that photo would think I was a lot chunkier than I am. I find it hilarious, and use it as an example of why all my dresses MUST come in a the waist, but it shocks everyone I show it to.
Sorry, no can do.
So, you coming to the Redbones 'fest next week?
Oh, you’re definitely a babe; I’ve just never met Howard Stern.
Sorry I’m only seeing this now. 
But yes, got it in one, polyamorous.
ready29003, I’m sorry your date was kind of a twit. But at least now you know what she looks like. 
No, ugly people are only supposed to date other ugly people. Didn’t you get the memo?
But then we only get uglier people. Soon it will be Morlocks everywhere!
I couldn’t put up a picture on a site to send to someone. I take the pictures, I am not in them. I sent one to someone once that I had found from 96 and scanned in, and when we met in person, she said she thought I had red hair from the picture. Not even close, very brown, except for the grey that is taking over. I couldn’t even send that one now, that was 2 hard drives ago and I have not clue about where the original is.
Run like a motherfucker.
I did online dating for a year or so (with many successful meetings) and this is a HUGE red flag to me. I met 2 or 3 girls without seeing photos during the first 3 months or so I did the online thing and they were all woofers. Every one.
Another bad sign is a long distance shot.
Run.
I agree with those who say whether or not she’s photogenic isn’t the issue.
I’m a reasonably nice looking girl who sometimes looks okay in front of the camara and sometimes looks like Bugs Bunny just hit me over the head with a mallet. But, if asked for my picture by a potential date, I would happily send one, with a disclaimer that I’m not always at my best on film. Someone who wouldn’t do that would trigger alarm bells in my head.
One of my coworkers is aftershave-ad-gorgeous. Really, he’s got that specific kind of looks.
I think I’ve seen only one picture where he looks attractive, though. Of course, normally the guys in ads are looking out into the distance, with their chin raised in an angle that would give anybody a stiff neck if held for long enough, whereas most of the pictures of this guy that I’ve seen have him laughing, or about to put a forkful into his mouth, or chatting with someone. He looks better in the ones where he’s looking into the camera, but those are rare and far between; he’s got this dazzling, slightly sideways smile that I’ve seen in 3d quite a few times but not yet in a picture.