And so it was that RNATB found a new hero…
There are better ways of solving your constipation problem.
Bob
Could I have buttsex without knowing it?
Well, I suppose you could. But, really, if you’re not even going to know…why bother?
Autolycus I think you would know the next morning for sure.
[hijack]
This is one of the funniest threads I have read in a long time. Currently at work trying to keep my loud guffaws under control[/hijack]
I have to say, while this thread is not the new low for the SDMB, it’s definitely the recent low. The phrase “attention whore” comes to mind, as well as thoughts that the OP has so many different, major problems it’s hard to think of which to mention first. I do so wish that samclem had moved this thread to the Pit rather than MPSIMS, 'cause unlike the OP, I’m going to restrain myself.
Autolycus, ever consider getting some help for your drinking? Because I would, if I was posting on a message board about how maybe I was raped while passed out in someone else’s truck bed after being abandoned by my “friends” when blacked out, then proceeded to list all the things I’d ever shoved up my ass, to a bunch of strangers on the internet, and had the nerve to post a :mad: when someone pointed out that I had, um, you know, maybe a drinking problem? I’d get help. Yesterday.
That’s all I can say in this forum. I’d go to the Pit but that’d be more attention than I wish to give.
I love that joke, but have a shitty memory. Thanks for reminding me. 
Judge not lest ye be judged.
Anyway, Rubystreak, do what you think is right. I enjoy telling stories; if that counts as attention-whoring, then I see no point in arguing. If you want to pit me, then go ahead, because after reading your complete “assessment” of my situation, I almost feel like starting a thread there myself. Thanks for the advice :rolleyes:
FYI, I already see a doctor about my drinking issue. I posted this because I remembered what happened a YEAR ago and was slightly concerned about my health. I also think it’s comedic, in the Roman sense of the word. But whatever, it’s not like you actually care about me. It’s more fun to be outraged and snarky…
So, in summary, save your breath. Please.
Fuck. That would have been a great idea at the time. /sigh. I seriously hope I never repeat that experience, but if something happens, I’ll remember to have a doc check me over. Thanks for your concern ^^
Okay. So this is like, we don’t know everything there is to know about your life, and if we did know, people would not be judging you like this?
"…and by unanimous vote of the Council and the order and blessings of our most holy and beloved liege and lord Marcian, Emperor of Rome and Equal of the Apostles, be it decreed and made orthodoxy that the words of our Divine and Holy Lord and Redeemer Christ Jesus, who was God and Man of One Substance, do most certainly not extend to anally inserted cooking and or serving utensils. Amen. Next item: Brothers Procto and Logos have their panel discussion on “Simony or Sodomy: Which is Worse” followed by the 6 p.m. brainstorming session of “Mary Magdalene: Does the World Really Need to Know About Her and the Kid?”
From the Minutes of the Council of Chalcedon, 451
Out of curiosity, if this was a year ago why are you concerned now? Have you been having trouble down there or nightmares about it or found yourself thinking “Man I really want to go drinking in Boston again…” after watching Brokeback Mountain or… what exactly?
People are free to think and post whatever the hell they want, I just think saying that I have, to quote Rubystreak, “many different, major problems” is a little out of line. That’s all.
Curiousity is always appreciated. Curiosity is probably a major reason why I’m revealing these intimate details about myself. Nope, no nightmares or trouble with the plumbing, I just remembered this story totally out of the blue and wanted to get some closure on what probably happened. I’m not exactly the expert on anal play, rape, anal rape, or any other combination of those words 
As for the ladel bit, I freely admit I perhaps went a little overboard with the TMI. For better or for worse, I’m very open online.
I can’t be the only one hearing the following after reading the above:
**
Autolycus**, just a word of benevolent advice.
You seem to have a neural disfunction between what your smart brain is telling you, and what your id is telling you to post on a messageboard. Y’see, the responses you are getting here are in direct relation to the stuff you are posting. It’s like verbal diahorrea, and I, for one, am damned sick of seeing your puerile OP’s and your even more adolescent posts in others’ threads.
Seriously, there’s a fuckload of good folk on this board. Between them they have a lot of wisdom and outright knowledge about all sorts of stuff. Might I suggest that you lurk a while longer before throwing yourself in the deep end of stupidity as you have done of late?
Okay. The thing is, though, you’ve posted a lot of OPs with content that usually applies to a poster’s brother, roommate, friend or cousin. Except, you’re saying it about yourself. The responses you get are pretty much the responses given to any OP and followup posts, only people are saying it to your face, so to speak, because you’re both the originator and the subject of the thread. And I’m sure that does hurt. But as you said, you are that guy.
Post read and advice appreciated. If my juvenile posting behavior as of late really bothers that many people on this forum, then perhaps I’ll cut back a bit. If I still bother you or anyone in the future, of course there’s always the ignore poster feature.
With that said, lurking is out of the question. Tough nuggies 
Thank god!
So after seeing both the title and the author of the thread, perhaps you ought not to have opened it. If you don’t like Mickey Mouse, don’t go to Disneyland.
There’s a good chance he’d look in your butt and say “The salad fork should be on the left.”