Cap’n Crunch is it’s own punishment. So good yet so abrasive.
I’m a big fan of Frito Lay Jalapeno Dip as well. I like it with Sour Cream and Onion Ruffles (or any other SC&O ruffled/wavy potato chip).
The “normal” accompaniment is probably tortilla chips, but SC&O ruffles are way better.
My cat likes the dip AND the chips, so I have to guard them
I recently bought some “plant-based butter” Halfway through the first stick I realized I’d been duped into paying a lot of money for margarine 
I think I’m quite supportive, compared to @pkbites frothing hatred of margarine, which I admittedly share, although not to his degree.
I actually respect you for understanding what it is, and isn’t, during your confession. You aren’t trying to spin it up as something it’s not. We are in a thread that is about Crap food you love. So I’m not denying your love. I just look at you like I would a friend in an abusive relationship, loving someone (or thing in this case) while everyone around you is looking on in horrified amazement.
But yes, we love you too.
ETA - in support, I will support a former unspeakable crap food I loved as a child, which makes me get queasy now just thinking about it. As a secular Jew, I avoid certain traditional foods that set me off (I will NEVER love gefilte fish, NEVER!), but I always enjoyed matzoh with butter. But refrigerator butter doesn’t spread well, and one year when I was 8?9? a family friend offered me a a squeeze of Parkay (parKAY!) instead!
It was amazing, perfect, no breaking the squares with the effort of using a butter knife! Of course, at the time, I was just oozing over the fat and salt being added, but as time goes on, all I can taste is the greasy mouthfeel that just . . . yeah. As pointed out upthread, I can see it being used in a ribs option, but I just wouldn’t. Ever.
Well there’s your problem: Cool Whip isn’t a whipped cream substitute, it’s its own thing. It is possible to love both whipped cream and Cool Whip*, just as it’s possible to love both mayonnaise and Miracle Whip. Each has its use, and they aren’t interchangeable. 
*I’m with you, ThelmaLou – except for the semi-frozen part!
I think Campbell’s Chunky Chili is pretty freakin’ good. I eat it with sour cream, shredded cheese, and crackers.
Ah, that’s it. I hate Miracle Whip, too!
My older sister spent a college year in Japan in the 70s, and she still talks about how good certain snacks were there. They actually had good tasting Ritz crackers.
Golden tacos? Sign me up!
Giant Costco bag of cheesy Pirate Booty, giant Costco bag of Cretor’s Chicago mix popcorn, giant Costco bag of Ruffles dipped in cottage cheese.
I see a running theme here… 
Um… I like it. Jarred and homemade. It’s really just a carrier for horseradish.
Do you love me now? 
I get this a Trader Joe’s, but whether it’s there or not is iffy. Chicago mix is THE best.
Does anyone know a bagged Kettle Corn popcorn that really tastes of the kettle??? My sister bought me a bag once that did, but I don’t remember the brand. Every other brand I’ve tried is just salty and sweet without that yummy kettle taste.
As long as you brush your teeth thoroughly before coming by, yes.
That’s how I like roasted marshmallows! Burn the outside, slip off the blackened skin and eat it. Return the marshmallow to the fire. Repeat.
It’s a deal!
Marshmallow raclette?
Toast cheese in front of a fire and repeatedly scrape off the toasted part.
Browned, not blackened, for me. Takes attention to get right and not char the hell out of the thing and just get bitter nastiness. But when toasted to my preference, lovely. The center area of this picture is perfect. A black fleck here and there is not a deal-killer, but setting the thing on fire, is.
Even better than brown sugar/cinnamon Pop Tarts are the new cinnamon roll Pop Tarts!
I love Pop Tarts, always have. I love the fruit flavored ones. But since the very first taste of a cinnamon roll Pop Tart, I fell in love. I want to marry it and have its babies!
~VOW
I can’t believe nobody has mentioned one of my faves: Doritos. Cool Ranch flavor preferably. And Tostitos Hint of Lime flavor too.
Cool Ranch Doritos and Major Grey’s chutney. Thank me later.
Kinda not crap.
The price is right, fersure.
Margarine? Not here but we do love that spreadble butter with olive oil or whatever. Very decent as a spread.
Oh gawd yes. But no more than two.
Yes!!
The Jack in the Box taco is basically a cheap-as-hell knockoff of the standard San Diego style crispy taco which you can find at hundreds of taco shops around San Diego (where JITB started). The “fancier” version is stuffed with shredded beef before being deep-fried, and is stuffed with shredded iceberg, shredded cheddar, and some grated cotija on top, like so;
https://robertostacoshop.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Robertos_TwoTacos_COMBO-1170x658.jpg
Truly crap and I love 'em: Pizza Rolls. I rarely get them any more because I have a dodgy heart now. But if I find the sausage version on sale, I won’t answer for my actions.