Create an absurd Haiku!

I noticed a shady looking van parked across the street from my office this morning, so maybe I should lay off the A-Team verses. But SmartAleq has the right idea anyway: cats and haiku go together so well.

The litter box calls
sand-filled tub for my business
humans hate the stench

A doomsday machine.
At least it’s not a death ray,
1920s style.

Haiku often is
profound in its imagery,
less often content

So my friends and I
stoned and bored in college wrote
math-themed love haikus

The best one was:

Oh, you are so prime!
You’re only divisible
By one, and my rod.

Can anyone beat that?

Wow, it stinks in here.
Someone ate too many beans.
Open the windows!

How about an absurdist Haiku instead?

Life has no meaning.
Other than what you find in it.
So enjoy the ride.

Haiku: A form that
Is to poetry as tic-
Tac-toe is to games

More cat haiku:

Feed me, biped slave!
I think we know which of us
Two is the smarter

Oh, your empty set!
Let me fill that void with a
Boolean union

Laws of math defied!
My one goes into your pi
More than three-plus times

Many years ago I got deeply into trying to compose some “real” haiku. Before that I dabbled in 17-syllable things for the fun of it.

One thing I really wanted to come up with would be a Horror Haiku. Seventeen syllables that really bring about the hair-raising effect of a horror story along the lines of a Lovecraft story.

Anybody want to try one of those? No doubt it would have to be absurd to boot. :slight_smile:

I do wish I was
an Oscar Meyer weiner
I truly wish it.

Drink only top-shelf
Well whiskey is donkey pee
My post is my cite

How about:

Wayward seafarer
one glimpse of dead Cthulhu
instantly insane

Foolish explorers
stumble upon eldritch tomb
Old Ones devour souls

Long ‘handles’ are cool
Except they can get cut off.
-Don’t fight the hypo…

I walked on the grass
I have thought of you, darling
And then vomited

Her white dress is red,
Where a white dress shouldn’t be red,
And the screaming stops.

Fingers like black twigs,
A bloody mouth pried open,
The bags must be filled.

A shadow on the lawn,
The sound of the ice-cream man
Digging a new hole.

Hulk, Thor, Hercules
Who’s the Strongest one there is?
Too evenly matched

:cool:

From the eldritch depths
Spectre rises, then drops limp:
“I shot zombie thread!”

Time to check Straight Dope
Waiting, waiting, more waiting
Error four oh four

Autumn Haiku

The trees are on fire.
The wind blows. The fire falls down.
The ground is on fire.