Aaaaaand Bam Boo Gut wins the thread. 
Absolutely–but this is a particular type of ugliness that’s directed particularly against women, and it’s totally appropriate to call him on it. If he’d perceived EmAnJ to be black and had made some comment like, “Listen, Sambo, if you’re not here in 5 minutes I’m leaving,” it’d be totally appropriate to call him on it, too.
That’s great you wouldn’t remember an anecdote like that. I sure would. People are rude to me rarely enough that it stands out in my mind when it does, and try as I might, I can’t keep it from getting under my skin.
Point taken.
You are correct - once I became more assertive, things changed and I didn’t let them get to me. But this incident occurred about eight years ago when I was 22. I was a small town girl who had moved to a big city and wasn’t used to dealing with people who were so rude, plus, I was shy and unsure of myself.
I think this is a pretty insightful post.
You also should make sure there is nothing in the medicine cabinet a casual visitor or tradesman might look at. And make sure you empty the bin on your paper-shredder, as it is possible to collect and reassemble the shreds.
Complain.
Yes, you should absolutely call to complain - as others have mentioned, you don’t want this guy in your house again.
If you have not already, I strongly recommend you read Gavin de Becker’s The Gift of Fear. This is exactly the sort of thing he talks about, and also exactly the sort of thing I had so much trouble overcoming when I taught women’s self-defense.
This guy went out of his way to make you feel unsafe. Therefore he is an asshole, and potentially dangerous. At the very least you don’t want him near you again.
Complain. You have the right to feel safe when service personnel are in your home.
Regards,
Shodan
I’m surprised Kimmy didn’t also tell her to stop dressing so slutty.
I’m sorry, I don’t understand the relevance of this post. Can you explain what you mean? And why you are surprised I didn’t say anything about how the OP was dressed?
Thanks!
Totally a non issue when you have somebody crawling around looking for bugs. It wouldn’t matter what room it was in. I have a feeling this guy checked through the mail as well. I’d call his boss.
My spidey-sense is tingling on this one.
You should report him and do so forcefully.
He feels like a predator-in-training.
They are implying you are “blaming the victim” (something often heard in sexual harassment/assault cases is that the victim was asking for it by dressing so slutty, hence the poster thought your comment was analogous to that).
Yep.
Yeah. One time they sent us a guy who never took his eyes off our boobs. You better believe we complained and made sure they never sent us that guy again.
She didn’t call him on it because she was alone and he creeped her out. He knew she’d be alone for awhile until Dave got back, so pissing him off by threatening to call customer service would definitely be outside of the comfort zone.
Creepy is bad enough. Creepy AND pissed off is even worse.
I agree with Kimmy_G in that one is best advised not to leave items one wishes to keep private in areas of one’s house one makes available to the public. That said, the contents of a cabinet or drawer are completely out of bounds and rummaging through them is not analogous to reading written material left out in a (semi-)public area.
Be aware that some service companies have a policy that their personnel are not to use customers’ bathrooms. On top of creeping out the OP, the Bug Guy may have violated company policy. My advice is to bring this incident to management’s (Orkin’s) attention, advise management that this specific tech is no longer welcome in your home, and +1 on reading deBecker’s Gift of Fear. Whether you inform your landlord depends, IMO, on how sympathetic/understanding you think your landlord will be.
Regards,
Wow! So many responses - thanks folks. I’d respond to em one-by-one if I were more than just one human being. To summarize…
1- moejoe was surprised I didnt call him out on it right away. Well, I often wish I had the balls to do such things, but I just don’t. In fact, I’m ashamed to say my reaction to such things is often a little bit of a nervous chuckle and a kind of sideways look. I need to get better at those things. I AM “too nice” and not wanting to be rude, even to someone who’s really asking for it. Maybe the Gift of Fear book will help with that. It’s actually been on my wish list for some time, so I think I’ll bump that up to the top. Thanks Shodan.
2 - Also, I just wanted to point out that I wasn’t being flirtatious - at least, if I was perceived that way, then I think it would have been entirely due to a misinterpretation made by the receiving party. I find that I sometimes accidentally convey a flirtatious vibe, so in a situation like this (guy who is already cocky and overconfident and in my home), I make a concerted effort to be dull, but cordial - pretty unfantastic (which is hard for me, but, ya know 
). I was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt - not something most people would consider provocative by any means.
3 - It definitely did occur to me that he probably got a kick out of trying to ook me out. That makes me pretty mad actually. Grrrr…
4 - Martin Hyde suggested that I ask my landlord to complain to Orkin. My landlord is actually the guy who owns the house in front of me, and my apartment is a garage apartment behind his house. He doesn’t rent any other properties. He does have an annual contract with Orkin though.
5 - Re: the calendar. You know, at first when pesty guy said he saw it on the calendar, I was thinking, “eh, alright, it IS on the calendar.” But then I went downstairs to look at the calendar, and realized you know, there is stuff written on most days on that calendar. He would’ve undertaken more concentration than I was comfortable with to READ the calendar and notice that Dave was out of town. That was when I felt even ickier about it. I also never would have thought of that being a potential danger - putting something on a calendar that a maintenance person sees, and then they know more about your life and eep! :eek: that I’m staying here alone for the next few days! I think of not leaving credit card statements lying around, not leaving passwords on sticky notes next to computers, making sure my underwear isn’t laying on the top of my laundry basket, things like that. Not calendars.
6 - Bam Boo Gut - Cute
7 - And on the safety thing - you know, I watch too many of those murder shows on Investigation Discovery. And a lot of them have situations where the perpetrator is a service industry person who has trusted access to people’s homes. It’s a pretty good job to have if you’re into stalking, raping, or doing otherwise creepy things to people. The more of your posts I’ve read, and the more I’ve thought about it, someone needs to get this guy in check. And as I mentioned before, at least if something more serious ever has happened with this guy, or ever did happen, then my complaint is on record.
8 - And finally, on the complaint - I’m researching who best to complain to at Orkin, and when the boyfriend is back, am going to file the complaint. I also received a helpful tip via PM that I should check to see if there’s a local bureau for regulations that I can send a complaint to, since this guy may actually be licensed by the state, and well, they might wanna know too.
And thanks again to everyone who responded.
First of all, pest control guys are just creepy. Second, he could have just been bored or overly loquacious, or just socially immature. Either way, you could complain. Service people who enter others home should be very respectful of the owners and their property. He’s probably in the wrong line of work. You could also forget about it. You may never see him again. If you get along well enough with the landlord you could tell him about it. He may not normally use that company, or a different guy comes every time, at which point complaining might be pointless.
That Gavin de Becker guy always says that women are brought up not to complain, not to make trouble, to be polite, etc. and put themselves in danger this way. Having said that, I don’t know if I think the guy is actually a danger to you, just an immature twit. However, I would recommend that you report him to his company in writing just for your own peace of mind. Clearly it’s bothering you and this way you can have some closure. Don’t be shy about it!
I once had a cable guy start telling me about how his marriage was breaking up. I don’t for an instant think he was flirting with me or anything; just wanted somebody to talk to and missed a clue somewhere about appropriate boundaries.
Since this thread has turned into a hijack about the problems with female upbringing and their social programming, I’ll add my two cents.
IMO, it isn’t that women are too weak to stand up for themselves compared to those ballsy, straight talkin’ menfolk who don’t take crap from anyone. Men don’t deal with this kind of shit because men don’t act creepy around other men like this. That’s all it is; it has nothing to do with women being too nice or too polite.
Seriously, think about it. What male exterminator is going to peek at another guy’s calendar, pretend to magically know certain things about his girlfriend that he shouldn’t know, and then play coy when confronted about this knowledge? We all know this scenario would never happen to a guy, and it’s not because guys speak up for themselves. It’s because creeps aren’t trying to creep out guys. Doesn’t matter if the guy was raised to be the most non-complaining, non-fuss making individual on the planet…he won’t be a magnet for creepiness like a woman will.
A guy isn’t going to call a male customer “sweetie” either in a patronizing way when a miscommunication occurs. These things happen to women because jerks often relate to women in jerkish ways.
Sorry if my tone is less than sugary here, but I get a headache when I see psychobabble arguments offered about how women are raised to be nice and polite as a way of explaining why bad things happen to them more than men.
As someone who sometimes goes into stranger’s home as part of my job, the pest control guy wasn’t acting appropriately.
It doesn’t matter what you see when you’re in someone else’s home - you ignore it, unless it directly pertains to your job. I’ve seen all sorts of things, from innocuous to hair-curling. Client’s son walks in with a monitoring bracelet on his ankle from the department corrections? Say nothing. See sex toys on the kitchen counter? Say nothing. See recently used sex toys on the kitchen counter? Say nothing. Green fuzz on dishes in the sink? Say nothing. Rotting pizza boxes under the couch? Say nothing. Residents have horrific taste in interior decorating? Say nothing. If they ask you about something you say the best phrases are usually either “I didn’t see anything” or “I wasn’t paying attention to that.” Man beats his wife and dogs? Say nothing - but report later as appropriate.
Yes, please tell his employer that the way he handled himself made you uneasy. Whether he’s a predator or a nice guy with poor social skills, his employer needs to know.
Meanwhile - don’t engage in idle conversation workmen in your home. You can stop at any time and say “I don’t think this is an appropriate topic for discussion.”