Yay Abby!
Yay Me! I’ve finally been welcomed!
(happy dance)
I’m a twenty year old tall skinny (male) college student majoring in History (read: unemployment).
Welcome me please!
Welcome me, dammit.
OK. My name is, oh you know my name. I’m a 41 yr old programmer in Madison Wis. USA I usually hate my job, I get all the shit work, but I bet I’d hate JAVA even more. I had a question I had to ask a couple months ago so I joined up, the price was right.
I still say ‘bubbler’ instead of water fountain. I ride my bike a lot when there isn’t any snow around. I sleep 5 hours a night. I’m always nervous when I post, I’m afraid of looking stupid. I’m a veggie and use salsa as a condiment on veggie burgers-hate mustard. There’s a mustard museum 10 miles from my house.
Who is this Opal person and should I bow down in her presence???
Yeah, gave me a lot to work with there. Thanks a lot, sparky.
No. You’re boring.
Way to get on my good side.
Oh, a doper who hates his job. How new and exciting. ::yawn::
This is easy.
- Stop saying ‘bubbler.’ The proper term is bidet and you’re not supposed to drink from them.
- I sleep 5 hours a night too, preceeded by 2 hours of sleep and directly followed by another hour and a half. Then I wake up, pee, and go back to bed for another quick hour long nap.
Heed your instincts.
Ok, I’ll bypass the obvious calling you a cucumber jokes to say EVERYONE SHUT UP ABOUT CONDIMENTS ALREADY!!! You’re a bunch of sheep!
::sigh::
I explained the Opal thing earlier in this thread. And the only person you bow down to in my thread is ME.
Hey! I was lured here by others who will remain nameless. And I haven’t been able to leave…
When I am not doing this, I am an accountant by day, and a musician by night…
MLC is my perfect match, because we are so different from each other.
Not saying their names here won’t help them. When I find out who it was they shall be duly punished.
An accountant/musician? Do you play elevator music to keep up the boring accountant stereotype? Or do you manage your friends books in exchange for sponging off them with no real job to maintain the musician sterotype?
MLC? What’s that? Mutton, Lettuce, and Cucumber sandwich?
[Billy Crystal]
When the mutton’s nice and lean… I love that, it’s so perky.
[/Billy Crystal]
I’m a diabetic, stay-at-home game-playing web-surfing Steeler fan.
I live in a small town in Central Pennsylvania, and I’m grateful for the contact with the outside world through my satellite dishes.
I’ve lived in New York state, Florida, North Carolina, Maryland, and Delaware, but I keep coming back here. Why? Family.
Check out my website for my interests.
Nice to meet you.
Howdy Y’all!
I’m a 20 year old male from Virginia, a student at a community college who has no idea what he wants to do with his life. I live in a yuppie ass community with my family, I work in a convenience store as a stocker and as a manager in Paintball/Skateboard shop. I have never really had any meaningful conversation with anyone here, so I would doubt that anyone really knows anything about me (or cares), so I figured I’d toss in my app with a friendly “WELCOME ME< DAMMIT!” for good measure 
I feel sorry for you on so many levels right now. It’s almost enough to forgo my usual treatment of the newbies I lure into these threads.
Almost.
**
::sigh:: Another newbie who has yet to realize my Center-of-the-Universeness.
Ok, I think it’s fairly obvious to all who’ve read these threads know how mistaken he is with this statement.
I have been posting here for about five months, but no one knows who I am. That is my fault though becuase I haven’t really been trying to get myself known. I don’t have a witty sense of humour or anything productive to say. I am 20 years old and I am a waitress at a Chinese restaurant even though I am not Chinese. Oh, and I thought the condiment thing got old on the first page of this thread.
Welcome to the real world.
You live in an ASS?!
Yeah, cuz the “welcome me dammit” line worked so well for the last guy. Just for that, I’m ending this welcome post prematurely.
I’m guessing by your condiment remark that you read this thread. If so then you know the rule about the nude pics. Get with the sending of said nekkid pics before I unleash my wrath, which I have named Fred, in your direction.
THANK YOU! For this line alone, you are spared the usual sarcastic quips.
Now send the pix or your computer will self destruct in 5 days.
Hi - I’m a 38 year old female living in South Carolina. I’m a native Californian, I work in retail and I’m a mom to the coolest kids around. I’m addicted to coffee, online scrabble, …and now SDMB.
It’s very nice to meet you 
Hello crunch.
I am 28. I live in middle Tennessee. I work in a factory. I have a wife and 4 kids. I lurked here for quite some time before posting not the friendliest place i’ve been but the posters are a little brighter and I realy enjoy that.
oh, and lets stay away from the name. I’ts been done.
Crunchy,
I have been posting here for a month and a half, and thought it was time to come in here for your special brand of abuse.
I am in my mid-20s and live in a crappy apartment in Western Canada (where it rains all the time) with my 2 roommates, who do not read the Straight Dope even though I leave the books conspicuosly lying around. I am a theatrical technician and a scenic painter. I have a cat. That’s about all.
Well, i’ve been a member for a bit over a year now, and i figure i haven’t really been “welcomed” per se, so yeah… Boo hoo poor wump… whatever
I’m a 6 foot 4, 18 year old male, i live in Calgary, Alberta, my house looks like a barn, but isn’t one,and i very rarely capitalize my "i"s’.
I’m a cook in a restaurant (Chili’s texas grill) and have been for bout 10 months. it sucks, but that’s life, it sucks. No, wait, life would be good if it sucked, then i would spend less on hookers. Therefore, life must blow.
Anyways, i’ve graduated high school, but that’s bout it for now. i’m taking a year off to decide what i want to do with my life. So far it’s not working at all. At the moment i’m trying to get a job out at a ski hill for the winter.
i could write more about me here, but then, i could also go to sleep. Hmmmm, it’s 3:24am right now, easy decison.
Ok, you’re female, so yada yada yada, send the nude pix, yada yada yada, something rude about working retail, yada yada, send nekked pics, yada.
No it isn’t, as anyone who’s met me IRL can verify. I smell funny, 60% of my body is covered in boils, the other 40% is leaking some kind of pus. I have leprosy, crabs, lice, and pin worms. I have only 10 teeth total (7 of which I keep in my hip pocket) and I fart a lot. Nice to meet me indeed.
I’m reading this and I get the exact same cadence in my head as, “Krotchkritter J. Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.”
Let’s stay away from the name? Well, I’ll do what I can, but posting in a thread like this with a name like that… so tempting… Let’s see, something simple, just to get it off my chest… Krotchsniffer! Whew, I feel better now. Sorry man, I tried, but my willpower gave up on trying to help me back in the mid-90s.
Oh, I see. I real adventure seeker! You want the special brand of abuse and not the same old crap I spew at the other newbies, huh? Ok, take off your shirt and grab your ankles. We may have to continue in e-mail from there or risk getting the thread closed.
Trade the cat in for a personality. It may help in your future endeavors.
Psst, young’in, c’mere. Blowing is good too.
That’s what I want to do too. Figured that out a long time ago.
Picture on it’s way …
I wanna get welcomed by the one and only Crunchy Frog
- Female
- IRL, I’m married, but I have a virtual crush on Mangetout
- Hi Opal!
- Interests : travelling, scuba diving, sky diving, reading, studying, endurance riding.
- The best sig I’ve seen so far was “Lurk before you leap” but I have no idea who had it.
- The nekked pics are in the post
- I’m an Australian sniff
: looks around furtively to see if anyone heard - The last time someone told me to bite them, I actually did, and their upper arm still bears the scar… so think before you say " bite me newbie"
Go for it, Crunchy 
I refuse to recognize any crushes in this thread except those on me.
And she gets -20 points for lying. Not a good start. Luckily, you’ll be able to raise your average for this course with the extra-credit handjobs.
sigh
Newbies acting tough again. Yeah, I love when this happens. I stopped with the “Bite Me Newbie” stuff a while ago. I tired of it in the first thread and it was brought back briefly in this thread just to shut some people up. But for your case, I’ll make an exception.
ahem
Goo: Roses are red
Violets are blue
Rhymes fail me
So just bite me, you toffee nosed, cloth-eared bint!