I already muddied up the forum by making this an autonomous post but: Hi everyone. Decided it’s about time I plunged into this wonderful cesspool of knowledge (Since i’ve been reading for a while but just haven’t gotten around to posting). A little about myself: I’m a student studying Chemical Engineering at a Philadelphia University. I don’t like to wash clothes. And I have a penchant for the ridiculous.
goonhead says:
Yes, I’ve seen you at the chatroom. We all talk about you when you leave. Sometimes, a bunch of people call me at work and we have hours long conference calls about how … oh sorry, I’m not suppose to divulge our secret clique secrets.
Newbie, newbie, newbie. So much to learn. To really self-promote, you should have provided a link to that thread. Trust me, I’ve got a PhD in self-promotion.
lard2000 joins in:
Hang on, before we get to the quote I want to have a bit of fiun with this username. Try new and improved lard2000! Twice as effective as our previous lard1000! Hundreds of household uses! Fries chicken! Get rid of annoying cowlicks! Yes no home is complete without lard2000! Call now and we’ll toss in the Quadruple Bypass home game FREE!
You’re turning me on already. BTW - e-mail me. We have a DopeFest in planning for the weekend of the 25-27th this month. Being a newbie does not mean you can’t attend.
Yeah, it’s hard to root for a team like that. Every year it looks like it may be “The Year” and every year they fall short. I’m still fuming over them winning the President’s Cup a couple years ago and getting knocked out in the first round by San Jose. The first fucking round! By the Sharks! What the hell?!
Which one? Not the one at Plaza Frontenac, is it? I used to work at Plaza Frontenac.
Caiata chimes in:
You may like to pretend the pics don’t exist, but don’t go dragging me into your delusions. The pix are necessary for my labido, er, your survival I mean, on these boards.
The trick to following these threads is not to read every post. Just read mine, since I quote the pertinent information. As for the Cardinal thing, I’m from St. Louis, used to play baseball, and am a die-hard Cardinal/baseball fan. I collect autographed baseballs and have 33 now, mostly Hall of Famers or soon-to-be HOFers.And don’t cry for the Cardinals. Without a strong closer in the bullpen, we wouldn’t have made it much farther even if we had beat the D-backs.
It helps the hell out of me! BTW, did I mention any claims made in this thread need to be verified by me personally? So drop me a line and we’ll set up an appointment for your belly-dancing demonstration at my place.
Rye arrives:
I’m not sure what to make of all that, but none of it seems joke-worthy. Welcome aboard.
Cation makes an appearance:
Just to clarify, you didn’t necessarily have to post here you know. This isn’t the SDMB “official” Welcome Wagon, just me funnin’ with the newbies. I don’t like to wach clothes either. In fact I don’t like to wash anything, which would explain the leprosy, pus filled infectious sores, and possibly the fungus in the navel.
BTW, I have a penchant for the ridiculous too. In fact that’s my middle name - Crunchy Ridiculous Frog.
Should I have posted here first before jumping in?
I did post a “Newbie Alert” thread on my first day. Does that count?
Sheri
There’s no reason anyone has to post to this thread at all. Starting your own thread is fine. As I said earlier, this isn’t an official Welcome Wagon by any means, just me having a bit of fun with the new people. If you want a welcome, you’ll need to give me a bit of info though. And if you haven’t read any of my welcomes to the other newbies, you may want to check a few out so you know what to expect. (I’m not necessarily nice to people who post here.)
Ha! Do you call this welcomings? Yak pizzle! Insults such as this flaccid tongue wagglings we would shove into a pig’s buttocks to give his farts flavor. If the menfolk in my village were to shame themselves with such puling pubics, the wimmens would pull their upper lips over their heads and nail them to the backs of their skulls with chopsticks. This, for your wagon-welcoming with such non-tumescent noodle-wiggles! Ptui!
Well, if this is a rite of passage, count me in!
I’m a 35- (soon to be 36) year-old mom of three girls, ages almost-13, 6 and almost 4. Almost-13 lives with my EX. Hubby is a software developer and all-around computer gaming nerd.
I stay at home with said children and write horror stories every chance I get. Once in a while get published.
I live in Maryland, but I hate it. I’d rather be in Texas or Florida where it doesn’t snow.
That’ll do for now, I suppose.
Sheri
Hey Everyone,
I’m a 20 year old female from PA. I’m a junior, a psych major, and a member of Alpha Phi Omega (co-ed service fraternity). Currently I’m a slave for Aramark… I mean I work as a cook for them. I guess that’s about it.
Yondan spews forth:
Technically, it’s not “tongue wagglings” since I’m typing this and I don’t need to move my lips when I read. And seeing as this is MPSIMS and not the Pit I do try to behave myself. And whatever you do to give your pig’s farts flavor is your own businees, man. I’m not into tasting pig’s farts myself, but hey, whatever rocks your cock.
If only you would do the same as your wimmens. Time to get off the village computer now, grasshopper. The chief of your tribe wants to download some shemale bukkake pics. Thanks for playing. Bye-bye now.
DarkWriter joins in:
Ok, female newbie, send the nekkid pics, y’all should know the drill by now.
So bedtime sounds interesting.
Kid: Mommy tell us a bedtime story!
Mommy: Ok, this one is about the man who killed his girlfriend, but then the girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend made a deal with Satan to raise her from the dead. And now her rotting corpse walks the land, hungry for human flesh and revenge against the man who killed her while her ex-boyfriend tries to escape the Pits of Hell.
Kid: Oh crap, that one again?!
And I’d rather live in a state where daily blowjobs are mandatorily given to all male residents by supermodels who swallow and are flown in on a regular basis. I called the governor once about getting legislation passed, but he just reminded me that the restraining order prevents me from calling him anymore.
Ok, I’m getting tired of saying this to everyone, but it’s my job and I’ll tough it out no matter how long it takes: I need to see your nekkidness. Send pics ASAP.
A psych major? Oh good. We have a newbie named Yondan that can use your help I think. He’s got a thing for pig farts. What does Freud say about that? Or are you more a student of Jung?
::insert waggling eyebrows::
You can cook for me anytime, baby. How do you feel about guys with tattoos?
Hi Everyone! Well, I have been on this board for almost a year, but I have never been officially welcomed, so I figured that I would put in a nice big “Howdy!”
I am 20 years old, and I work at a State Park. I am in college, majoring in Biology. There is absolutely nothing interesting about me. Well, some people think that it is interesting that I am a triplet, but, in truth, I only mention that here for one reason, and that is the nekkid pics factor.
As for the nekkid pics…well, lets just say that you REALLY wouldn’t want any nekkid pics of me. However, Shera looks almost exactly like me, but with a much nicer body, so I will leave the nekkid pic part to her. 
Which one? Not the one at Plaza Frontenac, is it? I used to work at Plaza Frontenac.
Uh…what if it is Frontenac? Should I just go away now?
Nothing wrong with Frontenac, I was just wondering. I didn’t work at the theatre there, I was the night security supervisor. I did see The Tailor of Panama there though. Nice place.
There’s nothing really interesting about my life to make fun of, except the fact that I lurk around these boards.
I dig guys with tattoos, so I’ll cook for you Crunchy, but how do you feel about chicks with piercings?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog *
Technically, it’s not “tongue wagglings” since I’m typing this and I don’t need to move my lips when I read. And seeing as this is MPSIMS and not the Pit I do try to behave myself. And whatever you do to give your pig’s farts flavor is your own businees, man. I’m not into tasting pig’s farts myself, but hey, whatever rocks your cock.If only you would do the same as your wimmens. Time to get off the village computer now, grasshopper. The chief of your tribe wants to download some shemale bukkake pics. Thanks for playing. Bye-bye now.
Ho! Not bad for child-playing with sharp instruments! Your invective grows in spicy increments. I think I will enjoy it here, among such ones.
Hey! I already sent them, there,uh…in the mail. Yeah That’s it. There in the mail.
***heraldgwena *says:
Well, some people think that it is interesting that I am a triplet, but, in truth, I only mention that here for one reason, and that is the nekkid pics factor.
[/quote]
Woo hoo! Nekkid triplet pics! Of course I’m sure you could find something interesting about yourself if you tried. Any hobbies? How about Jello wrestling? Ya into that? That’d be interesting. Or talking your sisters into joining you in sex acts with guys from message boards? That’d really be interesting.
Re-read the thread. I’ve been over this before.
SweetLilKitty says:
Piercings where?
Since someone has resurrected this, and I am relatively new, can you welcome me? The nekkid pics are getting developed as we speak, I will send them to you when they are done (insert evil grin here)
I am Arwen, I am Canadian. I am COOL, dammit, and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. I like to lurk rather than write, since I am usually just putting in my two cents worth. Mowt people ignore these posts. That is good. I like cheese.
The penalty for lying about naked pics is punishable up to 10 years of listening to Yoko Ono singing.
But I already let Dyno Saur tell me what a loser you are. Now that’s it’s been done, I can’t un-let him tell me. And Slip Mahoney says you’re the uncoolest person he’s ever been ashamed to say is Canadian. And the** Little Blue Men** said I should kill my boss as they stole the hair from my shower drain to build their nests in the walls. The Little Blue Men tell me lots of things. Who should I listen too?
Good luck with the cheese thing.
Piercings where? **
[/QUOTE]
Six in each ear and my tongue. I know it isn’t that big of a deal but some people,well… a lot of people have a problem with it. Just thought I’d ask, before I really offered to cook for you.