I’ve got a twenty-pound cat who will chase a laser pointer directly into a wall. We are getting some plastic bowling pins immediately upon returning from vacation. 
I need one of those for my neighbor. He would make a fine orator as he has a very clear and distinct voice that also happens to be loud. More than once I’ve had callers asking who was hollering at me, and it’s just B. on a conference call. So much for the effectiveness of an allegedly noise-cancelling headset!
Can you send me some of that? We paid $3.249 yesterday. Didn’t even get premium, mid-grade, a blowjob or full-serve for that.
Is that the “IT” that eBay was using in their ads recently, or have you crossed over to the dark side of Information Technology? Hate to tell you, but you’ll probably be on the phone *more * now, especially if you’re at some sort of help desk or other front-line support group. Congrats, though!
Leave the door ajar when you’re not using it - front-loaders have a perfect (you hope!) seal on the door so they stay damp inside. Top-loaders don’t have seals on their lids, so they can dry out even if the lid’s down.
If you have cats or kids and can’t leave the door ajar, try doing whites with bleach as the first load of a day’s laundry so the bleach will kill any mildew.
Thanks, drae. I just peed my pants.
I am, indeed, crossing to the dark side. But, blessedly, I will only continue to process orders from our website and work on the content (if not the design) of the site itself. I am not qualified to answer questions other than where the “any” key is located and the standard first-tier “reboot” instructions. Although I guess now I’d be allowed to plug in my own damned mouse without calling tech support. 
I have two things to say. One is a rant, and the other is something interesting. So, I’m deliberately double-posting. Deal with it!
Rant:
We have two of the bigwigs in our office. Male. Now understand, I am not anti-male. I mean, I have one at home! I like them, honest!
But it seems like in our organization the women do all the work and the men simply take all the credit. I overheard my new boss trying to get OUT of a major portion of work he is supposed to do. He was calling the big boss and asking him! He actually said, “Uh, Frank, I don’t think an Executive Director should have to take on a walksite himself.” Now the politics of our organization is weird. We have four divisions. We are the only division that has consistently made budget in Walk over and over again. We are also the only division that has shown year-over-year growth in every event! This with one less staff member. All the other divisions have 2 community directors, 1 AA, and 1 division director. We have 1 CD, 1 AA, and 1 DD.
Now our DD has stepped up to a new position. And we now have an executive director…the aforementioned idiot. And he doesn’t want to take over the responsibilities the old DD had…but he doesn’t want to hire new staff, either. He thinks myself and the CD are going to be able to take everything. Well, I say - FUCK THAT. This is why I am looking for a new job.
And these two idiots that are here today are the same…pass the buck, pass, pass, until it gets to a woman. You may think I’m exaggerating but I’m not. It’s so immensely frustrating it’s not even funny.
Ok, end rant. For now. Back in a minute or two.
With the faxes I get, they are routed from the front office to my e-mail account, so that they are pdfs before I even see them. Maybe that’s what he wants.
Still trying to catch up, both with work and the MMP. What are the odds that I can get either to slow down for me?
Other thing is a little story from Hindu mythology.
Vishnu, the sustainer, was meditating on Earth for a long time once. While he was busy, sort of behind his back a great warrior Mahabali took over the earth and heaven. When this came to Vishnu’s notice, he decided to be take the form of a dimunitive sage to rectify this.
He went to Mahabali’s palace, and said to him, “O great Mahabali, I may now die in peace and joy since I have seen you and laid eyes on you. You are truly as magnificent as the rumours about you. Nay, the rumours fall short and you are even more awe-inspiring.”
Mahabali was pleased, and said, “I must not allow so fine a compliment to go unrewarded. Tell me, little sage, what can I give you to reward you?”
After some demurrals, the sage spoke. “O Mahabali, if you insist, you can give me just a small plot of land. Simply three of my footsteps’ worth.”
Mahabali laughed uproariously. “Three tiny steps? Is that all you would have of the great Mahabali? Very well, let us seal this pact with water.”
And he took out a small flask of holy water from the Ganga. He poured some into his own hand, and then into the sage’s hand. No sooner than he had done that, though, then the sage grew to enormous proportions, blotting out the sky. Mahabali watched, shocked, as the sage boomed, “May I take my three steps now, Mahabali?” Mahabali nodded.
The sage - who of course was Vishnu - took one step and covered the entire earth. He took another step and covered all of heaven. He looked down at Mahabali and said, “I have no more room, Mahabali. Where shall I place my final step?”
And Mahabali was ashamed and realized the error of what he had done. He fell to his knees, and said, “O great Lord, place your foot on my head if there is no other place.” And so turning himself over to his god, and showing that even if you “own” property on this earth, god still has the supreme power.
Mahabali means “He of great strength.” This story was told in the Ramayan by Sage Vishwamitr to his pupil Ram.
I am in a state of shock right now y’all. Earlier today I posted about the wife of a former staff member dying yesterday. About an hour ago, I found out that he died of a massive heart attack about three hours after she died. Both deaths were due to heart related problems as Judy and Bob both had some pretty serious heart related problems. I am a sad, sad bear right now. 
Just my luck - I’m behind on the punless week, and will probably be embarrassingly current in the double whammy week.
Oh goodness! That’s awful! I’m so sorry swampy!
Swampy, you need a beer or 3 right now…
I’m sorry swampy.
Thanks EC.
I’m at home. I was totally worthless at work, so I just up and left. No worries though, cause I’m sure that will be more than made up for later.
Ya know, not to sound all morbid and stuff, but in a way, it’s fitting that Bob and Judy would kinda go together like they did. I’m not one for all that mushy, lovey-dovey makes-me-wanna-lose-my-lunch gushy stuff about finding one’s soul mate and all that, but I gotta say it was true in their case. They were absolutely devoted to each other. Seriously, it was hard to think of one without saying the other’s name, like they were one entity. We never said Bob. We never said Judy. It was always BobandJudy. That’s the way they were together. Bob could be a cantakerous old coot at times, all blustery and ranty like. He’d get on one of those and I’d say stuff like, “Do I need to sic Miss Judy on you?” and he’d crack up. He’d also mellow out. I’ve always had a feeling that she probably whacked him upside the head every now and then to keep him in line. So, I’m all sad, I won’t deny that. I’m also kinda, well, I don’t know if happy is the word, maybe more like have a feeling of peace, knowing they went almost together like they did. Does that make sense?
Ok, that was nice and rambly. The great thing about the MMP is it’s ok to be rambly when the need is there. Thanks y’all for lettin’ me be all rambly about this. MWAH
Thanks Mika and Bobbio. One beer is down and for sure there’s two or three more to go in honor of Bob and Judy, both of whom had a right fondness for beer.
Now you’re just rubbing it in our faces, aren’t you?
gt I finally got to your big red letter warning. Thanks.
Okay, I won’t.
Almost at the end.
swampy Sorry to hear about your friends. It’s probably best that they did go together.
Oh, swampy, I’m so sorry. You’re right, though- if they were that devoted to each other, it’s fitting that they didn’t have to be apart.
Almost time for work. Try not to miss me too much.
Swampy, I’m sorry to hear about your friends. We had a similar thing happen here about a month ago - the couple had been married for over 50 years. The husband died first, and the wife walked into the hospital chapel, told their son “I can’t live without him” and died. Their son expressed emotions much like yours - sadness that they were gone, but joy that they were together.