OncleBiere!
I want one toooooooo…
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
With love from the poster voted as having the "Most Confusing Username"
Pop it back up. You can’t get out of this one Uncle.
** Sigh. So many men, so few who can afford me ** Original by Wally
I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
I’ve noticed you didn’t say which weekend, Unca Beer…
Here’s a few.
Jeannie
Homepage: www.idreamofjeannie.com
Occupation: Wish granting
Location: I’m still stuck in this damn bottle in Cocoa Beach, Fla
Interests: Getting Major Nelson in trouble, getting Major Nelson out of trouble
Chrome Toaster
Homepage: www.smallappliances.com
Occupation: Dessicator of flour/yeast food products
Location: Within 2 feet of an electric outlet
Interests: Bagels, Wheat Bread, English Muffins, and Silverware
Lucretia
Homepage: www.borgiapopes.com
Occupation: Housewife of arranged marriages
Location: Italy
Interests: My husbands. Giovanni Sforza of Pesaro, Alfonso of Aragon, Alfonso of Aragon - duke of Ferrara
purplebear
Homepage: www.purple.com
Occupation: Painting things purple
Location: Lilac, Mississippi
Interests: Purple finches, plums, grapes and Barney
Canadian Sue
Homepage: www.curling.com
Occupation: Canadian Enchantress
Location: The Arctic Archipelago
Interests: Snow, ice, sleet and Popeye
hightechburrito
Homepage: www.tacobell.com
Occupation: Corporate shill
Location: 5000 outlets nationwide
Interests: Choke-n-pukes, greasy spoons, disgusting diners in general
Shadowfox
Homepage: www.ihatemyex.com
Occupation: Slave for my children
Location: The damned laundry room, again
Interests: Hah! Who has time.
ultress
Homepage: www.superlativeandsassy.com
Occupation: Temptress
Location: Ultra, California
Interests: surpluses, excesses, abundances, extras, lagniappes
Coldfire
Homepage: www.2112.com
Occupation: Geddy Lee impersonator
Location: Backstage
Interests: Flying by night, Tom Sawyer, Bidding farewell to kings
Here’s a few more.
PunditLisa
Homepage:www.where’smysig,Wally.com
Occupation: Tormenting Wally
Location: On Wally’s back
Interests: Giving Wally a hard time, being troublesome for Wally, making Wally suffer.
WallyM7
Homepage: www.putkill.org
Occupation: Putzin’ around
Location: Putzy’s Pub, Albany, New York
Interests: Creating sig lines for the dopers takes all my time.
Rysdad
Homepage: www.guystuff.com
Occupation: Side show attraction
Location: Dad, Wyoming
Interests: plagiarizing one-liners, filching witty toss-offs
Shirley Ujest
Homepage: www.don’tcallmeshirley.net
Occupation: Punchline
Location: Joker, West Virginia
Interests: B-movies, stand-up comedians, vaudeville
saucy potato
Homepage: www.idahospuds.com
Occupation: Side dish
Location: the oven, 400 degrees for 45 minutes
Interests: fine dining, sour cream and butter.
MaryAnnQ
Homepage: www.getahaircutnow.com
Occupation: Neck shaver
Location: On my feet
Interests: Sweeping up hair, vacuuming up hair and coughing up hair
BigRoryG
Homepage: www.I’mbig.com
Occupation: Photographer wannabe
Location: The darkroom
Interests: Yes.
elelle
Homepage: www.letmetemptyou.com
Occupation: I have red hair, isn’t that enough?
Location: Nirvana
Interests: making UncleBeer crazy, goat photography
The rest are gonna have to wait til lunchtime today.
Ya know, I hope none of those “homepages” go anywhere bad. I didn’t check 'em.
Gee, thanks, Unc!
What a pal.
WallyM7
Homepage: www.putzkill.org
Occupation: Putzin’ around
Location: Putzy’s Pub, Albany, New York
Interests: Creating sig lines for the dopers takes all my time.
Profile by UncleBeer and Elmer Fudd Enterprises.
All wights weserved.
Ayesha
Homepage: www.houstonzoo.org
Occupation: Lion Tamer
Location: Just inside the cage, behind the whip and chair
Interests: Large felines, raw meat, counting my extremities
evilbeth
Homepage: www.villianess.edu
Occupation: Professor at Purgatory Univ.
Location: The Nether Regions (no, Coldfire, not The Netherlands)
Interests: wickedness, depravity, corruption, vice, malignity, vice…
Kat
Homepage: www.kitkatclub.com
Occupation: Exotic Dancer
Location: Weimar Republic
Interests: High heel shoes, sexy stockings and revealing costumes
Nu Vo Da Da
Homepage: www.dadaism.com
Occupation: Confused Artist
Location: Zurich, Switzerland
Interests: Tristan Tzara, anarchy and nihilism
Pixiod
Homepage: www.lightwave.com
Occupation: Photon
Location: I’m still stuck on this phosphor screen
Interests: Illuminescence, Phosphorescence and Florescence
android209
Homepage: www.smallwonder.com
Occupation: Mechanical slave to humanity
Location: Let me check my programming
Interests: Whatever I’m told
Mullinator
Homepage: www.myhead’sintheclouds.com
Occupation: Elevator shoe salesman
Location: Towering over you
Interests: Ducking, stooping, bending down, crouching and leaning over
Esprix
Homepage: www.askthegayguy.com
Occupation: Tight end
Location: Any orifice will do
Interests: Gay Porn, men and so-called deviant acts
SwimmingRiddles
Homepage: www.aquaticquandary.com
Occupation: I’m the nemesis of Batman of Atlantis
Location: The deep end
Interests: The breaststroke, puzzles, the butterfly, enigmas, the backstroke and labyrinths
I think this is the last of 'em.
JohnLarrigan
Homepage: www.irishwhiskey.com
Occupation: Pub denizen
Location: See above
Interests: Anything except the Queen
RTFirefly
Homepage: www.glacticgovernment.gov
Occupation: Galactic Emperor
Location: Trantor
Interests: Palace intrigue, hereditary successors
Chef Troy
Homepage: www.epicureanmaster.com
Occupation: Pre-occupied
Location: I have my head stuck in the fridge
Interests: carbohydrates, proteins, food groups and cookbooks
Night Rabbit
Homepage: www.nocturnallagomorph.com
Occupation: Easter Bunny
Location: A cozy burrow
Interests: Carrots and screwin’ pretty much covers it
Vestal Blue
Homepage: www.wildblueyonder.com
Occupation: Stunt Pilot
Location: 32,000 ft and 700 mph
Interests: takeoffs, landings, bombing runs
Strainger
Homepage: www.ultimateshearstrength.com
Occupation: Strain gauge
Location: I’m stuck under this piece of Kapton tape
Interests: Tensile strength, Young’s Modulus and Free-body diagrams
Canthearya
Homepage: www.beltonehearingaids.com
Occupation: Town Crier
Location: 2 inches from your ear
Interests: ear trumpets, megaphones, bullhorns and echo chambers
If you don’t like what I gave you, tough shit. You’ll get over it. I know I already am.
Woohoo! Thanks, Unc!
And to think that I once thought it was a big deal to be President of Freedonia. 
Homepage: www.galacticgovernment.gov
Occupation: Galactic Emperor
Location: Trantor
Interests: Palace intrigue, hereditary successors
–Profile by UncleBeer
Woohoo! Thanks, Unc!
And to think that I once thought it was a big deal to be President of Freedonia.
Homepage: www.galacticgovernment.gov
Occupation: Galactic Emperor
Location: Trantor
Interests: Palace intrigue, hereditary successors
–Profile by UncleBeer
I know I’m a newbie and all but… Am I too late? Can I have one too? Please? does the big doe eyes I’ll worship the ground you walk on forever and ever if you do.
Clap hands, squeal for joy!!! I had given up, thank you, Uncy Beer.
Drink up, dear. I made it just for you.
sig by WallyM7
Thanks Beer! This Bud…er…Amstel is for you!
If I didn’t buy you a beer when we were in Springfield, I meant to. Isn’tit the thought that counts? (I left that space out on purpose. He He He) Gimme’ a profile ya’ big goof.
UncleBeer, how can I ever repay you? Wait, don’t answer that! Tell you what–at the ChiDopes gathering, I owe you a beer.
I know I complain about lame jokes about my name all the time. But this is actually funny. I was ROTFLMAO when I first read it.
Thanks so much! 
Homepage: www.idreamofjeannie.com
Occupation:Wish granting
Location: I’m still stuck in this damn bottle in Cocoa Beach, Fla.
Interests: Getting Major Nelson in trouble, getting Major Nelson out of trouble
–Custom profile courtesy of UncleBeer
I never hate myself in the morning. I sleep till noon.
–Custom sig line courtesy of Wally
You like me, you really like me!
Or at least tolerate, which I’m good with.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
-Pix
My classes are optional. So is graduating.
(Certifiable WallyM7Sig)
Homepage: www.lightwave.com
Occupation: Photon
Location: I’m still stuck on this phosphor screen
Interests: Illuminescence, Phosphorescence and Florescence
(Profile by UncleBeer)
Mine does go somewhere. Three guesses what “www.idreamofjeannie.com” leads to.
My, UncaB, how far into the cups were ya when you came up with mine? Hee! Thanks a bunch.
And, a 21 goat salute to your honorable sensability!
The ride is short and the thrills are cheap- Men and rollercoasters. - - -Courtesy of Wally, that Signifying Guy.
How far in the cups? Why not at all. I wrote that at about 5:15 while I was waiting on the coffee machine at work this morning. And oddly enough, I’m still at work at 10:15pm, but I’m leaving in 10 minutes. A quick malt beverage and off to bed.
I’ll see you all tomorrow bright and early.