Dad, this won't fly. Why my dad sucks during Christmas.

The BBQ Pit
21

Byz,

Does your father know he’s lost the respect of the family? He may think he has the money and the family. (Of course, I don’t know.) If he thinks so, he needs to be made aware of just how much that 50 kilobucks cost him. Unfortunately, you can’t be the one who opens his eyes. That would only make you look like the bad guy.

I work in a building that has a lot of people who are firmly locked into the Corporate Mindset. I view them as being dead, but they don’t know they’re dead. There’s more to life than making a buck (or a sackie :wink: ). I see these people who live in their nice, expensive houses, driving their nice, expensive cars, and living their nice, expensive lives. I wonder how many of them have been in a storm in the desert? I wonder how many of them have taken a dirt road out to a secluded place to just sit and look? I wonder how many of them have poked holes in the sky in a small aircraft just for the fun of not being tied to the Earth, if only for an hour? I wonder if they’ve read The Little Prince, and understood what’s important in life?

Reading your post reminds me of just how lucky I am to have had the father I did. I remember him taking me camping when I was eight. He hid my birthday present and led me to it by hiding “treasure clues” written in invisible ink, which I had to find and heat up over his lighter to see. I remember getting my Polar Bear patch when I was five, and how proud he was of me for enduring the initiation. When a couple were flying their old Piper J-3 “Cub” across country and they were stranded by high winds in Daggett where he was stationed with the FAA (a 90-knot airplane doesn’t do so well in gusty 50-knot winds), he let them stay in his quarters (a two bedroom house) on the airport. They repaid him by taking me for a ride in the old airplane when the winds died down. I remember countless acts of kindness toward me and other people. Could any of that have been bought with 50 grand? Can those experiences ever be replaced?

I hope your father comes to understand how much he has lost. Perhaps he will have a Scrooge-like epiphany and become a better person.

Best of luck – to both of you.

22

Johnny L.A. – all he knows right now is not one single person in the family is returning his calls except for my wealthy brother. When I talked to my brother about what was going on he said he really didn’t care. After I tucked my jaw back up into my face he said that dad was never there for him as a child and he had his attention now. He didn’t CARE that it was over money. He only cared that now, suddenly, thirty years (and several million dollars) latter dad wants to be in his life. :frowning:

Somehow, to me, that’s sadder than anything. Even as my brother talked I could feel this kind of… willing acceptance… like he’d give ANYTHING to get our father’s attention. All I could do was feel my own self willing to give anything to keep my family together… I guess it really does come down to values. I don’t hate my brother; he’s doing what he’s doing to get what he wants and he’s not really hurting anyone but himself. Perhaps, the love of one child above all others, will be enough for my father. I sure hope so.

I envy you your father and I do consider myself lucky in that I had my mother. She’s the one who took us camping. She’s the one who threw creative and wonderfully bizarre birthday bashes. She’s the one always telling me that I’m smart and funny and can do anything I set my mind to… if not for her I shudder to think what my self-esteem would be like. I may not have a good dad but I sure as hell got a GREAT mom!

And I’d love for him to have a Christmas Story epiphany… I thought this Christmas he might wake up and smell the coffee but no. He just blithely waltzed through the holiday, forgetting people, ignoring people and being open-eyed stunned when he got ignored and forgotten in return. Perhaps, someday…

Hey, if nothing else there is always hope, right?