You’ll note that there’s a category there for Bridesmaids From Hell. I can just imagine Zabali there, in shimmering pink taffeta.
Hey, my perfect wedding is gonna include the plastic flowers bouquet, the drive through chappel and a minimum number of Elvis impersonators…
that being said:
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The OP’s now railing that the oject d’ire is wrong about her age (30 vs. 31). this rates into negative points AFAIAC.
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the “calling hubby a criminal” thing at this point, I’m declaring a washout- while on the one hand I thought it was a nasty aside that didnt’ need to be there for the original thread, it does appear as if it were technically the truth (tho the poster didn’t have sufficient info at the time to prove it, which is one of the reasons it was a nasty aside). all of the 'well, the other person would be found guilty too, she wouldn’t press charges, the ACLU is trying to get it overturned etc.) do not detract from the point that at the time of the event, the actions performed by hubby were, in fact, prosecutable under the pertinant law.
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As a vet of several weddings (various people), all involved should take several deep breaths and chill the fuck out. there is no such thing as a “perfect wedding”, plan to have the best day possible, do what you want/can afford etc and more power to you. Y’all are begining to sound like my ex, who believed that the main thing wrong w/his first marriage was they didn’t get married in a church, the wrong thing on his second was that he didn’t wear a tux w/tails, had the tux w/tails at a church for his third wedding, ran out of excuses for why the marriage didn’t work, so on the fourth wedding no church, no tuxes etc. and that one still failed, too.
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at this point neither the OP nor the ojet’ d’ire is coming off well, IMHO.
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I wish both of you the best in your upcoming situations. at this point, possibly either/both of you could step back and say “how important is this in the scheme of things for me?” No?? Well, hell, I tried.
What’s a “MOH”?
Am I the only one who sees this person ending up the subject of a “Bridezilla” story on etiquettehell.com?
Maid/Matron of Honor
Oh, and MY perfect wedding would be a small, intimate affair with good friends, family, good, yummy food, good music, and people having fun.
Small, intimate, cozy and just relaxed.
Oh, and Goran Visnjic. But he’s already married. Dammit.
I agree with wring. You both have some valid points, and you both look very silly at this point.
One other thing, IMHO Daffodil5 has not posted in any way that should result in her banning or being called a troll, and anyone saying that is out of line.
Zabali_Clawbane, if this whole thing is bothering you THAT much, please, for your sake, your husband’s sake, and the sake of your marriage, please please consider staying home from the wedding and letting your husband take care of himself.
Robin
FTR, I’ll say I am not bitching at the bride to get my way, my husband went to the groom with his reservations, the groom said he had already come up with a solution, the bride refused to go with her intended’s idea, so I came to the pit to vent my frustrations!
Now, is everyone clear on that? Daffy took offense at someone’s ire that was not directed at her, and she began to sneer and fling insults at not only me, but my husband, who I’ll remind you did not start the post. He has a punching bag to vent his frustrations out on. He broke the chain that supports it this morning.
I’ll state, I live in this state, and I’ve witnessed how that statute is interpreted. Can Daffy say the same? If she can, ok, if not then she can back the hell down, and stop with the “your husband commited a crime” mantra.
I have seen this for myself with a classmate. The D.A. wasn’t willing to prosecute it because of the exact wording of the law. My classmate and his girlfriend were both 15.
As for her implying that the maid of honor is some virginal creature, if you had read the OP of the first thread you would see that this is far from true. She’s known as “easy” by more than one of her ex boyfriends that are our friends.
MsRobyn thank you for your kind concern. 
This situation does bother me, that is why I started a thread to vent. I said things in the pit I would not say to her IRL, because they would harm. She has no computer, and no interest in message boards, so there is no fear of her stumbling onto this.
My husband is more than capable of handling himself, he’s taking ornamental ironwork classes at the moment. This involves blacksmithing and forge welding. He’s also able to stay calm in emergency situations. That doesn’t mean that he’s incapable of being harmed, which is why I was so upset.
I felt the need to get the frustration out somewhere, and I am unable to get to a gym. This town does not have one. I injured my knee, so long runs are out. The option I chose was to release it into the ether.
We will both be ok on the day of the wedding. As ok as we can be considering that my husband’s abuser will be at it again. He has said that he would prefer to have me there for moral support, and I also do love the bride (even if I don’t like what she does) and I gave my word to her. Thus I will be standing up beside her at the wedding.
I think the paraphrased saying that applies is “You get the most angry at the ones you love the best.” This is quite true here. I know she has potential to be a better person, but she’s being arrogant and oblivious to other’s needs. (Yes Daffy dear, I see you puffing up at this “insult”, chill. She’s ignoring even the goom’s comfort, so what I said applies.)
Now, does everyone understand what motivated me? Do I need to clarify any more?
I see that the order of my statements can lead to an assumption that is not true.
My husband is really frustrated with this situation, and has been working out every morning. We saw the bride and groom last night, and she still wants to keep things as they are, refusing to see that harm will be done, poo pooing his assertions. That tends to really frustrate. He vented his frustrations this morning, and broke the chain holding up his punching bag. He was showing me his attempt at repairing it as I typed the post above.
Another addendum: The bride asked my husband why the groom was saying it would be good for him (my husband) if there were 2 maids of honor and 2 best men. Then she poo pooed his feelings, and refused the idea again.
Also FTR I was giving anecdotal evidence as to the drama queen behavior exibited by the maid of honor. She’s doing the hysterical “Ooooo, he’s in the room, I can’t breathe, gotta leave the room, sniffle, cry.” It’s been over 2 years, and she still “can’t stand to be in the same room” with him. She does it to get a perverse thrill out of not only the fact that she get’s petted, and soothed by others, but that it makes my husband “look bad” in the process. She (maid of honor) does it to try to jab at him. Just like she’s letting him know she’s getting a kinky sexual type thrill out of the fact she has to let him touch her arm at the wedding. It’s sick, and of course it would sting. Wouldn’t it make your skin crawl too?
I was angry, because she was playing the tragic stalwart herione in my presence and implying that it was my husband who had been unable to move on. (This was in the process of slandering him to my face.) He’s finally gotten to the point where he no longer cares one way or the other about her. This is a step up. I pointed out to her, with examples of her own behavior, that she was the one who obviously had a problem, and had not moved on. I thought she was foolish, and overly dramatic to leave the entire building IN THE WINTER, WITH SNOW FALLING, when she could easily have gone to a section well out of our sight in a different part of the building entirely, and finished her meal. It also showed how far she’d stoop just to garner some attention, and remind my husband how she lied about him in the process. Is that issue clear now?
My apologies for this glaring inaccuracy in assesing the passage of time.
It’s been over 3 years since she split up with my husband, almost 3 years since she split up with our friend M, about 2 and a half years since B split up with her, and about a ten months since J. Ok, enough with the tallying to double check my time perception… Yep, over 3 years have passed since she broke it off with him, approaching 4.
The statement is still correct, but not accurate.
For some reason it doesn’t seem like time has gone so quickly to me. I was thinking of how long I’ve known her (maid of honor/Mr. Clawbane’s ex) and the bride directly, (I’ve known the groom for longer) and grabbed that number instead.
The other dates/times I’ve given are correct, I just checked those over and had my husband double check them.
This year has been a blur, due to family illnesses that both me and my husband are dealing with on both sides. I don’t really want to detail them here.
Zabali_Clawbane and ** Daffodil5 **-quite frankly, you both creep me out.
It’s your obsession with control.
In the thread that inspired this train wreck ,Zabali_Clawbane, you mention more than once that you are worried that your husband may get some sort of kinky thrill walking down the aisle with his ex.
Seems to me that you’re more concerned about that than anything else, really.
And ** Daffodil5 **, you seemed more obsessed with the details of this fairytale little wedding that you’re putting together with your parents than the bridegroom himself.
It’s all about you you you and bugger the poor men involved, isn’t it?
You misunderstood completely jlzania, look again.
The MOH is getting a kinky thrill out of the fact that she gets to camp it up again, play the martyr, and sting my husband too.
Bolding mine.
I just posted that recently, it’s on this page.
Further,
I am thinking of the men. I have stated concern for not only the groom, but my own husband more than once.
:rolleyes:
All I know is that if I had a small, intimate affair with:
1.) Friends – Most of them would never speak with me again, especially the guys. Mostly, however, because I’ve never even whistled at the sight of any man’s ass–it’d come as a complete surprise. (Although not to my SO, who would immediately shout out, “Damnit! I knew those unicorns and Care Bears meant something!”)
2.) Family – I’d be arrested. After all, my lil’ sis isn’t even 15 yet. Besides, my dad doesn’t turn me on no matter how many times I try imagining him in a skirt. Yuck.
3.) Good, yummy food – What, like a French Silk Pie? Dude, I’m there. Really. Just get the pie drunk enough…
4.) Good music – Oh! Maybe Faith Hill eating French (Freedom?) Silk Pie…?
5.) People having fun – Well, I certianly hope people would be having fun (unless they don’t like pie); I mean, just which of my EXs have you been talking to, eh?
SkipMagic
This thread is freaking me out! I’ve tried to stay away but I’m strangely drawn to it for reasons unknown!
Zabali, what if Daffy never backs down or apologizies. Will you start another thread? I’m not trying to be an asshole…just curious as to what it will take to end this. This is amazing to me!
I can understand your veiwpoint,** Fluffy ** I’d be watching in morbid fascination if I weren’t in the middle of this too. 
I do tend to “stand my ground” in the face of people like Daffy. What she did was uncalled for, anda I don’t put up with it. She really went over the line of what I consider tolerable behavior. (Remember, I’m putting up with the bride.)
However, I have learned through bitter experience not to back down with people like her, lest they take the chance to trip you as you leave. I will continue to face her way until I see she has retreated. I don’t expect her to apologize, or admit to any wrong doing.
Mainly I’m posting here to clarify anything that other people have misconstrued. I also posted back here because I caught an inaccuracy, or a statement that could be misunderstood.
I stand corrected-however, why do you care if she gets a thrill walking down the aisle with him?
Your assertion that
sounds remarkably like the cry “Won’t anyone think of the children.”
I still think that this is all about control and you knowing what’s best for everyone-including the groom.
If this is true, then why all the drama? I mean, if he really has moved on and doesn’t care, then why does it matter that he has to walk with her for 30 seconds? If she has a fit or dramatic meltdown, what is it to him? Or to you? I have known people like this before, and all they succeed in doing is making fools of themselves. Other people will see it if she is being childish or dramatic, so I would just let it go.
I would also let this whole thread go. It’s one thing to take a stand with people in your life who you have to have daily contact with, but what is Daffodil to you? Why does it matter to you, personally, if she understands or agrees with your situation? You don’t ever have to deal with her again if you don’t want to. Some battles are worth fighting. This one isn’t. Let it go.
I also think all the attacks on Daffodil and how she is choosing to have her wedding are getting out of control. Yes, she came across a snobbish, but that is her idea of a perfect wedding and it is no better or worse than anyone else’s. I put a lot of thought and planning into my wedding too. Some people like traditional, lavish affairs, some like simple ones. The only mistake she made was putting down other people’s choices, which is what a lot of other people in this thread are doing to her, too.
This thread is fast becoming a trainwreck, I hope someone can disengage before it gets 10 pages long.